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This reminds me of something that happened to my sister's brother-in-law. He was in a meeting at work and his wife calls him and hysterically tells him to come to highway X, where she has pulled over to the median, and help her. She has a situation. He told her to call a garage to come deal with her car, but she says it is not her car, and that he has to come help her himself. Now he understands his wife is the perfect blonde stereotype and that it will be something ridiculous; however, it is his wife so he excuses himself from the meeting and drives out to where she is pulled over. He gets there and she is standing outside the car. He asks her what is the problem and she says "it" is under the driver's seat and he needs to remove "it". So he asks what "it" is and she says a turtle. So of course he asks how the hell a turtle got under the driver's seat. She says she was driving down the highway and saw a turtle crossing the road. She pulled over and picked it up and put it under the driver's seat so it would not get run over. She drove off and everything was fine for a few minutes until the turtle started to trying to bite her feet as she is driving. That is when she pulled over to the median to call him for help. She says the turtle is very angry. He goes to the car and opens the driver's side door to see this turtle, basically expecting a small box turtle or something. Turns out his wife had picked up a full grown snapping turtle and stuck it under her driver's seat.

Fannypacman

Well let's just hope the governor never gets attacked by an SMU cheerleader.

Unconscionable. I knew they'd do it, but that's taking complicity to 11. For the record, this is why people say public statements by Collins, Corker, Flake are just talk and get pissed at them. They run their mouths in public, but they jump right in to vote for whatever the GOP tells them to vote for when it's nut cutting time. They are in a position to DO SOMETHING, but choose to virtue signal and watch Trump rapidly dismantle our institutions and norms. They have shown that they are not going to be part of the solution. The only solution to this problem is utterly overwhelming anti-Trump turnout in 2018.

Hell, let's not act like our out of control military spending has anything to do with our NATO commitment at all. We spend this much because we want to, not because NATO requires that we do so.

Trump is the most dangerous man in the world. He's attempting to destroy a stable world order that has kept us out of major wars for nearly 75 years. A complete fucking idiot.

I think we can all agree that war is bad. So why are we actively trying to undermine a security collective that has kept the peace (mostly) in a big chunk of the world for so many decades? That's the real question here. Who does it benefit? Not our European allies and not us. The only beneficiary I see is Russia.

Calculator.

Loooonnnng post! Lots of pics! TL/DR: Desert, mountains, backpacks, sunrise... Here's a few pics from my Big Bend trip last week. It was my Dad, my two sons ages 10 and 13, and myself. Drove to Marathon Thursday afternoon, and spent the night there to arrive in the park at a decent time Friday morning. The campground in the Basin was wide open but it filled up by Saturday evening. Slept under the stars most nights except a few dashes into the tent during short rain showers and one night through a decent thunderstorm. Highs in the 80's in the Basin, lows in the upper 60's. Except the desert, out there it was hot as balls. Day 1: Set up camp, beer and nap in the shade, then the Lost Mine Trail. I'd never done it. The Window has always been my "get used to hiking again" warm up hike. Skipped it this year and did Lost Mine instead. Good call, can't believe in all my times going out there I'd never done it. The views at the far end looking south rival those on the South Rim even if there are't as many of those views. Day 2: Had a storm that night and woke up to an evil-looking fog rolling in over and around Casa Grande. It was eerie to watch. We drove across the park and hiked around and up a little hill over-looking the river near Rio Grand Village. Saw a million centipedes, which the kids got a kick out of. Then we headed to the river crossing at Boquillas, took the row boat across, rented horses and rode to town for lunch. I was planning on us walking to town and I assumed the locals were just trying to get some business when they recommended the horses due to the high water at the creek crossing. But they were right, as we crossed the waist-deep muddy creek I was glad we were on the horses. Had a great meal at Boquillas Cafe. I had cabrito tacos, my older son had pollo enchiladas, and my younger son had tamales, my Pop had a combo plate. It was loved by all. After lunch we rode back, crossed back over, and went to the hot springs. Meh... it felt good to get somewhat clean but it was too crowded. Didn't stay long. Headed over to Ernst Tinaja. This place is under-rated. It's one of the coolest places in the Park! I don't know why it's not featured more in park photos. I find it far more fascinating that the view from the Window or the Balanced Rock pics you always see on BBNP book covers and memorabilia. It's a few miles up from the southern end of Old Ore Road and then a 1/2 mile or so hike in. Very cool flowy sedimentary rock formations in a narrowing slot with a pool in the middle. No swimming though, the water is stagnant and the surface sits several feet under the rounded rock rim of the pool. If you get in you aren't getting out without help from above. Day 3: Drove to Santa Elena Canyon. The Terlingua Creek crossing was about knee-high and we had to bushwhack a little to get to the trail, but we did it. Poor planning on our part put us there in the heat of the afternoon but we sucked it up. Rewarded ourselves with cold beer, cokes, and mexican food in Terlingua on the way back. Day 4: My boys and I headed up to the South Rim. Leaving from the Basin Trailhead we took Laguna Meadows up to the Rim and went east along the rim to the eastern edge. Was hoping to see a bear or two, but only saw some deer. The boys did great. The older has backpacked a little bit, the younger one never has. But both are athletic and adventurous. I knew my oldest would have no problems and I was prepared to take everything out of the younger one's pack if he had problems. He carried about 16 pounds initially but we drank the water out of his pack first so he was down to 11 pounds or so by the time we got up there. The older boy carried about 20. I carried 30-ish depending on the water situation. They came though like champs. It was 9 miles and up almost 2000' that day. We started when it was cool and were hot and worn out by midafternoon. Took lots of breaks, drank lots of water, and got to the campsite about 3pm. Chilled out, enjoyed the view, threw some rocks, cooked some Beef Stroganoff, watched 3 separate thunderstorms all pass by in the desert without hitting us, and slept under the stars about 20 feet from the edge of the rim. The desert floor was almost 3000' below us. It was a cold windy night and we woke up to a great sunrise. Day 5: Hiked 7 miles down back to the Basin via Boot Canyon and Pinnacles. Refilled with water at Boot Spring. Uneventful hike other than more great views. Got to the trailhead and got ice cream... and a cold beer or two. We all had a terrible but satisfying steak in the lodge restaurant that night and then one more night under the stars in the campground. Day 6: Up with the sun, packed up and gone by 8am for the drive home. Every day since then: Fuck this Austin humid heat!!

He only played nine times. Niiiiine times.

I was planning on smoking a 12 pound brisket on Saturday but I had a last minute recording session and had to leave town, my wife messed up the recipe but it turned out great, here is what happened: I brined the 12 pound brisket starting Friday night then left town. My wife on Saturday night forgot what I told her and took the brisket out of the brine and rinsed it, she then rubbed it with a mixture of ground chipotle pepper, black pepper, chili powder, sugar, cumin and cilantro, she then cut it in two (don't ask why) and put each piece in a large freezer bag, put half a bottle of liquid smoke in each bag and put them back in the fridge, on Sunday night she put both pieces into a large metal turkey roasting pan then covered them with a mixture of Stubbs and cattleman's BBQ sauce, she cooked it at 225 for 5 hours. I was pissed with I got home and while I was yelling about her screwing up my brisket she shoves a piece of the brisket in my mouth, I almost popped a boner, it was the best fuckng brisket I have ever tasted outside of a restaurant. My wife is giving me the biggest shit eating grin along with a told you so look.

Never confuse not knowing with not caring.

1100 years or 1 Armybrat.

Every day I catch myself wanting to post something that would definitely get on a watchlist.

That’s a tough call. The president has two major functions. Bush was a far better head of state, but an absolute disaster as Head of Government. Trump is the worst head of state we have ever had, but it remains to be seen whether his actions as Head of Government will have the long lasting negative historical consequences as those of Bush, both in terms of the Iraq war* and the 2001 and 2003 Bush stimuli, which changed the trajectory of our finances from eventual contraction of debt to to permanent structural debt expansion**. Trump is only halfway there, in that his stimulus will be as costly as those***, but he hasn’t led millions of suffering people into human calamity. Yet. *in about 2005-6 on Hornfans I argued that the Iraq war was our version of the Boer war a signal event of the end of Empire and the true off-ramp of the American Century. Several people who are here on Surly now thought that was ridiculous, and that ultimately our work would yield a secular pro-western ally in the Middle East. **Many of those same people also argued in 2001 and 2003 that the Bush stimulus tax plans would pay for themselves, that efforts to rolls them back were “class warfare”, and that they would ultimately reduce the deficit and subsequently the debt. ***This same group**** argued that the 2017 Trump tax stimulus would pay for itself, that current Democratic candidates arguing to rolls them back are engaging in “class warfare”, and that the cuts will ultimately reduce the deficit and subsequently the debt. ****This group is called Republicans. They are not in any sense conservative. They expand the debt with bad stimulus, spend profligately on military headcount, and elected Donald Trump.

Traces of Texas is just so fucking awesome. It makes me happy every day. You're a prince.

she couldn't find her cleanest dirty shirt

Every accusation is a confession.

Is that good?

I say just let McCann beat his ass and move along

Maninoa Tufono just announced his Top 5: USC, Washington, UCLA, LSU, and Texas.

If I walked into a meal with Trump like that, I'd definitely wait until someone else drank the orange juice.

I like this kid. I've never seen or heard of him before. But he's handling his business like a man. Pretty impressive...

Illegal immigrants work much harder than white native-born Americans. They're not coming for a handout, they're coming for the same opportunity every previous generation of immigrants came for. I'd gladly trade 95% of illegal immigrants that come in for the entire native-born white populations of Oklahoma, Alabama, Arkansas, and Mississippi. They're harder workers, are less likely to commit crimes, and have better food.

I don’t suppose either one of you know why bob’s car is parked out front.

I stated that it's plenty to prevent Russia from trying to conquer NATO countries, and I stand by that. I certainly think that the military spending, as a whole, could be reduced greatly across the board. But, by saying "NATO would be fine without any German or US contribution" it implies that neither Germany nor the US are important to NATO, and vice versa, which is horseshit. The alliance has critical importance for nuke deterrence, where Germany provides beneficial geography and the US holds the hammer. NATO is also important for diplomatic strength, and the US and Germany are important to that. And let's not forget our allies' role in Afghanistan, where they came to our support after we were attack. The US has lost 2,412 servicemen. Non-US coalition forces (mostly from NATO countries) have lost 1138 servicemen. Trump's rhetoric is making us, and the world, less secure. Germany buying more fighter planes is irrelevant except to defense contractors.

The longest period without major armed conflict in Western Europe in 1100 years.

Not just a stable world order. A stable world order WE built to ensure WE are top dogs, economically, diplomatically and militarily.

/notmywork

God Save The Queen. Rock on ya crazy English bastards. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Did Hamm print that fucking media badge himself?

The GOP only wants less government when it comes to assistance for the poors and the browns or oversight and regulation of their business interests. The GOP wants more government when it comes to regulating people's behavior. No, Tex, they advocate for state's rights on personal issues! Sure they do. That's why there's still a federal marijuana law that takes precedence even in the several states that have legalized it. The GOP cares about two things: helping the wealthy make more money and legislating morality for everyone. That's it. Anyone who says otherwise is full of shit.

Breaking up NATO because of liberal Western democracy tears.

The near beer gut isn’t the deal breaker. The smell of Donald Trump’s orange cum on his breath is the real turn off. That and his Grandpa Munster face.

At least he didnt use crayon this time.

Or could it be that someone is not telling the truth?

Look out world, baby NorthLoop coming Feb. '19.

Here ya go

Some of you may remember from the old board the new Audi I bought for the wife back during the winter. Though not the point of this post, you will be pleased to hear that she has already backed into a pole and also sideswiped a coworker's car in the office parking lot. Neither damaged the car too terribly - just some scratches and nicks in the paint - but it was inevitable so I can't get too upset about it. The passenger side mirror housing is also busted, but that was also inevitable based on past history. Regardless of the nicks and dings, I am not exactly sure how she does it, but she has a propensity to lock her keys in this car. How, you might ask? Because she leaves her purse sitting in the front seat and never takes the keys out of her purse and somehow it.... locks behind her? Point of the story is this: Audi has a nice online app that locks and unlocks the doors. You might think that this would help her, but no, it does not. Why not? Because her phone is also in the purse. So guess who gets frantic phone calls from random numbers asking to unlock the car remotely? And guess who gets yelled at via voicemail when I don't answer the phone from random numbers I don't recognize? This happened over the weekend and I inquired about the possibility of not leaving her purse in the car.... tone.

Almost as if the site was founded in the off-season.