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..for the Houston HH crowd

You said his campaign was funded by gumball and a bunch of Californians. Beto's campaign is primarily funded by individual Texans. If Beto has raised more out of state money than Cruz has raised, it's because Cruz has done such a horrible job raising money. If it's specific to California, I would point out that California is also Cruz's largest source of out of state funding, and second is fucking Florida. But of course, we both know what you meant and why you said it the way you said it and why Cruz told it to you say it like that. Because he thinks that you are stupid and easy to be manipulated around your fear and insecurities.

What's up, assholes? Welcome to the 2018 Football Season Game Prediction Contest. I did this a long time ago on HornFans, then for the first time on shaggy in 2014, and now we bring it to surly. There will be a prediction thread every week and I will enter the predictions into my highly technologically advanced prediction system software (i.e., Excel) for each user. I am seeing if we can automate it with this board software and will update y'all when possible. In the meantime, I'll post the results for each week but the winner of the season long contest will obviously receive a lot more shag cred. 2014 winner - laga42015 winner - EZ$2016 winner - knoxtnhorn2017 winner - ??? (8badmofo is a bumbling idiot who has no idea how to run a message board server so it's down right now and I can't check) Rules:1. An exactly correct prediction gets 200 points. 2 points are deducted for every point you miss the margin by and 1 point is deducted for every point you miss the total by. 25 points are deducted for predicting the wrong winner. Minimum score is zero. So go ahead and make smartass predictions, no sweat off my back. You want to guess Texas ∞, Oklahoma -∞? Go for it. Probably a good guess, actually. Example: You guess Texas 31, Maryland 13. Final score is Texas 41, Maryland 7. Your score is 200-2*(34-18)-(48-44)=164. 2. Entries close at 5 minutes before listed gametime on the TexasSports.com team schedule page. Posts that have a timestamp after that time or an edit timestamp after that time are disqualified. 3. You can refer to the teams with what you consider cute nicknames if you want, but if I can't tell which team is which then tough shit. 4. All your scores are added up for the season long contest. 5. Tiebreaker for each game is order of entry. The prediction post that is first in the thread among the tied entries wins the tiebreaker. 6. Tiebreaker for season long contest is placement for the final game of the season prediction. Doesn't matter if it's a bowl game, a national semifinal, a national championship game, or the Kansas game if we don't make a bowl. Whatever the final game played is, that's the tiebreaker. That's it. Any other necessary rules or rule changes will be made up on the fly. Good luck. Overall season winner gets jack shit.

Mo Bamba was one of the cleanest 5* recruitments you'll ever come across. Not the best example to use if you're trying to act like you know what you're talking about.

That's what being a Protestant's all about. That's why it's the church for me. That's why it's the church for anyone who respects the individual and the individual's right to decide for him or herself. When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in fifteen- seventeen, he may not have realised the full significance of what he was doing, but four hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas,... [sniff] ...and, Protestantism doesn't stop at the simple condom! Oh, no! I can wear French Ticklers if I want. French Ticklers. Black Mambos. Crocodile Ribs. Sheaths that are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress Have I got one? Uh, well, no, but I can go down the road any time I want and walk into Harry's and hold my head up high and say in a loud, steady voice, 'Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today, I think I'll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant.'

The thing about Calzones is, it may have a nice Italian name and all, but it's still basically just bread.

Our fundraiser is tomorrow night I can’t wait. I get the mic to introduce this bad mofo. Might not be able to sleep.

Can he still tweet with it?

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Updates based on all the good feedback: Removed tongue Added stubble Added badass smoke from nostrils I'll let you know if I make them available on an Etsy page. Thanks

You guys may be out of an offensive coordinator... T&P’s.

Texas has many Democrats but many have been silent about their party affiliation because the republican majority has seemed so overwhelming Over the past 2+ decades. Even if/when Beto loses, he has pushed many to publicly state they vote democrat or at least split their votes. And for many Republicans, they should ultimately see it as a net positive. How many republicans complain about Ted Cruz, Dan Patrick, Rick Perry or Ken Paxton. Instead of pandering to the hard core right and the few that vote in primaries, it will be good for Texas if the republicans are forced to choose a candidate that needs general election appeal. Everyone wins when Texas goes purple.

White people with top 2 percent wealth in America will be just fine because politicians cater to them. Everyone else is screwed

In today’s political climate you have to vote, give money and give time to the movement you’re in or your guy and your cause is fucked by big money. It’s no longer enough to chat about who you’ll vote for, America needs every citizen to be an activist.

You better make sure Disney isn't watching.

1st play - Young for 2 yards 2nd play - Ehlinger for 4 yards 3rd play - WR screen to TE Andrew Beck for 1 yard 4th play - punters cousin with 18 yard punt Fire Beck/Herman thread blows the servers

They’ve won or been close to winning the National Championship the last 10 years. The attention is warranted

Texas is going to roll Maryland by halftime.

Robert Smith - FotP

Name sounds like the BYU qb with the robot leg. Do not like.

Looking fwd to a mature football discussion in a safe space from snarky double entendres.

Odd for Lance to inject himself into the race. Takes balls to do that. Still, it’s pretty dope.

I’ll always root for Longhorns. He didn’t give his best during his years here. I didn’t give my best at UT either between the ages of 18-21. It happens. He’s brought no shame to the University.

I must have missed the line forming

These things go by so fast, but remember a few days ago when the president said that he couldn't be impeached because he's doing a great job, and if he were to be impeached everyone would become instantly poor, because of his brain? Because that happened and everyone just kind of shrugged.

I’d get rid of the tongue and add nostril smoke like Hook’emHooah said. But I’d definitely buy one and wear it proudly on game day. Just don’t put it on some Gildan/Russell piece of shit shirt. And F.D.D

That is not happening and the sooner everyone accepts that the better.

I don't understand people who want less football. It's absolutely critical to getting through the holiday season if your family doesn't share political leanings, that's for sure.

I used to support republicans. McCain’s death and trumps ridiculous response is just yet another signal to me that the party I used to support is completely dead and needs to be destroyed. From now on, anyone who continues to vote republican is either a complete moron, a narcicist, or is a selfish fool who puts his or her own self interest above the country. So in other words, fuck em. Fuck em all.

Yep. Plus every other type of tragedy is politicized almost instantly. 911 gets us two wars, a brand new cabinet level dept, and restrictions on our rights. Every other terrorist act or attempted act causes policy changes on the fly. Shoes off, laptop out. OKC happens, rental trucks and fertilizer purchases are monitored and flagged. A chemical spill occurs? New regulations are put in place to lower the chance of it happening again. A kid drowns in a backyard pool? We add fencing regulation. A restaurant is spreading food borne illness? We shut it down instantly. On every other possible tragedy, not only do we not wait, we act as rapidly as possible to prevent reoccurrence. But someone shoots up a place? Too soon.

Do you even trad these threads? Like at all?

HUH?

Why fact have I ignored? What false statement of fact have I accepted? You’ve got nothing. You can’t handle the fact that anyone watching you sees you as a sucker who bought a line of bull. Tough shit. Moronity is incurable. If only it was terminal, too.

We need to try more thoughts and more prayers first.

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Shamelessly gratuitous Crop Top version:

Anyone else think that we have too many WNBA games?

Every thread you're in is about Hillary Clinton.

You mean you wanted to us to run more power with a big back like we did the prior year, allowing our inexperienced and undersized lineman to use angles and leverage to their advantage, and guys like Vahe to do what they do best, like pull and block down? Why? It makes much more sense to run outside zone to the boundary with a 250 pound back with little lateral quickness, asking guys like Nickelson and Garret Gray to set the edge. Don’t question the experts sonny - they know much more than Joe Fan, including what it takes to make it as an Hback/TE RB in College the NFL.

Never too many games. Who cares if the teams suck it's still college football on the TV.

Posted this in the Mueller thread earlier by mistake, but I’ll go ahead and leave it here now.

Frederick done for the season likely? With the trash they have backing up OL and the inability of the coaching staff to properly adjust to injuries this probably means the end of the playoff hopes. For once would like proper depth and competent coaching again. Its even worse knowing the previously eternally hapless eagles have both now.