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“I prefer migrant kids who don’t get captured.”

At my work Xmas party, some chick gave me a BJ saying she needed to practice for Xmas day. I got a Whataburger Yeti cup in the gift exchange. I gave it to her as a thank you.

Incredible what republicans are allowing to happen to this country. Shameful. This won’t ever be forgotten by me or others in my generation. And I’ll be sure to educate future generations about the treasonous trash that was in charge during this time.

Brisket went on the smoker at 6:40. Prime rib is out coming to room temp. Will go on the smoker at noon. Everybody else is asleep. I'm taking a massive Christmas tacos and tamales shit ho ho ho. Merry Christmas bitches the bar is open.

Meowy Christmas you Surly pricks. Here’s to a kickass New Year!

Ho fuckin ho. I received a set of coasters last night from my in laws. Their words were “these are gifts from our house that we don’t want anymore!” Better than the weed eater string I received a few years ago...maybe?

Merry Christmas

I can't help but laugh every time one you conservatives come along posting these old quotes from Democrats saying "illegal immigration is bad" like it's some kind of gotcha moment. You only think you're making a point because you believe the conservative media's bullshit narrative that Democrats are for open borders. They're not and they never have been. Of course Democrats and liberals are against illegal immigration and want immigration reform. That doesn't mean they think people who come here legally asking for asylum or even the ones that do break the law should be treated as subhuman and abused as a deterrent. Democrats and liberals (and many classic, non-Trumpkin conservatives) also don't think a $50+ billion symbolic wall is the answer to the broken immigration system when it's been pointed out a million times how most people don't illegally immigrate into this country by sneaking across the border. Especially considering that we're already nearly back to recession level deficits (thanks to the party of fiscal responsibility) and we can't afford it, we would have to steal land from private property owners to build it, and it's been said it would be detrimental to the local environment. So yeah, Republicans are not called "Nazi Racist Fascists" because they have an "R" next to their name. They're called that because so many seem okay with kidnapping children from their parents, letting them be mistreated, abused, and even die. They're called that because they go on TV and talk about how these people are dirty, diseased, rapists, and criminals who bring their problems to this country. It's about their words and actions, not their political affiliation. But feel free to keep thinking videos of Obama and Schumer saying we need to do something about illegal immigration is the same thing.

As I said in the shelter thread, when an administration engages in cruel and barbaric practices, they lose being given the benefit of the doubt . These evil motherfuckers have used up all my “wait and sees”. Trump’s policies killed another kid. Period.

Everyone in the family, except for my daughter and I, was outside. She’s laying on top of me on the sofa. I’m scratching her back, which she loves, and enjoying a moment alone with her. My MIL walks in the house, sits on my feet/legs, picks up her phone to get on Facebook and never says a word. There is a second sofa and two empty chairs in the room. I should have thrown a cup of microwaved coffee in her face.

Santa is as real as Melania’s new kidneys

Trump: You still believe in Santa Claus? Kid: Well sir, I admit that I once did believe in him. Then I found out he's fictitious, like your charity foundation.

I just finished a 30 min discussion with my sjw, college professor sister and no blood was drawn. #christmasspirit

Merry Christmas! Just finished all the prep for tomorrow and I’m having a little toddy and winding down.

Merry Christmas Surly.

Is OU recruiting him? Because I’d hate to be the OU assistant who draws the short straw and has to fuck her.

I know most of us on here probably buy themselves something around this time of year and use Christmas as the excuse or get cool shit as a surprise so here's a place to show off/humblebrag. Here is something my mom surprised me with this year. I moved over the summer into a new place after my divorce so we were talking about the cliche dude pad neon beer signs and other shit guys decorate with. I mentioned a painting I would love to have for the meme of it and she got me a copy and is going to get it framed as well once I pick one out. "I like this one. One dog goes one way and the other goes the other. And this guy's saying, "Whaddya want from me?"

Like a boss Merry Christmas bitches

Yup4

That’s the asparagus.

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Was working for a landscape company out of Jarrell doing a job in Georgetown just out of High school, we were laying sod and I’ll never forget the hail storm that came through, the sky looked blackish green and the storm was very violent, we got stuck on a feeder road about 3 miles south of Jarrell on 35,DPS had shut 35 down. We saw the shadow of the Tornado miles ahead, Later on I helped with the search and cleanup with WCSP. That event inspired me to become a Firefighter a few years later Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I’m sure many of them figured that out at 6 when all that was under the tree was the alternator needed to fix the family Camaro and the box of Reds needed to fuel daddy to install it. Good thing the tax cuts and coal jobs are gonna turn that around next year.

Growing tired of fwk tweets..... Seems more about self promotion of fwk under a disguise that he cares more about helping High School kids than himself....

Now back to tippling and other diversions. I can't let this day get away without pleasures other than spleen venting. The world will be the world. I will enjoy the American luxury of taking breaks from it. I feel better for the bloviation above. Be well my friends. Happy holidays. It turns out I've given a gift without knowing it. That Guess Who link above keeps running into some very nice 60s tunes. Tommy James and the Shondels are on now. Like the Guess Who, another underappreciated band from the time. Merry Christmas

Merry Fucking Christmas, World. Aren't we still your envy? Don't you wish you were us? Aren't you glad we're in the lead? Thanks for providing an entertaining stage for the theater of American self-deception. Sorry about the coups, tyrants, death squads, taking all your stuff, and negligently killing your children. Not really. We don't care. We wish our negroes and other people of color who don't entertain us would move to where you are and make America great again by doing so. Hell, take the entertainers and athletes, too. They can commute. Happy New Year, in the Hell of Our Creation. If I'm going full Brisket, I don't give a shit. We dumped a bunch of families into an El Paso bus station with no plan for them and, hey, one of the kids we have in custody died. Brown kid, but it's still kinda sad, ain't it? But hey, no bone saws this time. We're getting kinder and gentler everyday. Oh look, the World replies. I bet they love the hell out of us for WWII. American Woman get away from me! (The Guess Who)

A guilded cage hanging from the Hilary Obama Tower (originally Trump) lowered close enough to the ground for thrown rotten fruit and epithets. When people get tired of that, move him to a large iron cage, add his cabal of wickedness and remove all clothing. Put the cage on the deck of a rusty old freighter in early winter. Sail into the North Sea. Drop cage in freezing water. I hate these people. I don't say that much. They're destroying the thin veneer of decency that holds a free society together. They are my enemies. At least the terrorists have the courage to die or suffer in their terrible crimes. Trump is the shit on their shoes. That's how bad it is. Restoration may be impossible, but retribution is not. Tear down Trump and his toadies.

Wife got over whatever was ailing her yesterday so all is good. Gifts = opened. Family phone calls = made. Sex like crazed weasels = had. Prime rib is rubbed & gonna go on the grill in about an hour. Gonna sip some Celis Double Porters until it's time to switch to cab for dinner. Peace, ya bunch of assholes.

I gave your MiL a lovely hunk of beef this morning.

Merry Christmas!

When you think your oil is nearly hot enough, take a strike-anywhere match and throw it in the oil. When it ignites, your oil is ready. I'm serious.

Turn off your fucking Tapatalk signature, asshole.

Stop being a pussy. Just dip your finger in the oil to test the temp.

I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you're gonna hear about it!

You know how they show the aftermaths of all those tornadoes that hit in Kansas, etc, and they're searching through a bunch of collapsed buildings and rubble? I went out there to help pick through the wreckage for people. The thing is, there was no wreckage. Everything was gone. Down to the foundations. Toilets & bathtubs, vinyl flooring even, stripped right off the concrete. There was nothing left over about 3" from floor level. Asphalt stripped right off the ground, etc. It was surreal.

House is off to bed. Time to break out granddad's Glenmorangie 12 year and throw on cartoon network. Yes. I'm a child.

Been watching this ol boy for three seasons and this afternoon it all came together.

Cousin is visiting from Spain

We have a president who's wallowing in self-pity via twitter at the moment while half of his cabinet is abandoning him. Meanwhile, there are multiple credible allegations against him, his family, and the Trump Org in various stages of litigation. Moreover, his former campaign manager is a convicted felon; his former lawyer is a convicted felon; and his former National Security Advisor is a convicted felon. Fuck you, Kyle. Fuck you.

User name and whatnot.

I'm 41 and have been an alcoholic since my first drink at 12 or 13. I knew it and never really had the denial stage. All my friends knew it, but they were all heavy drinkers in high school, college and then into their early 20's, where most of them cut back to normal people drinkers. Probably 25% of us who were true alcoholics didn't and most stopped and started going to meetings because they knew and accepted what they are. I knew it about myself but didn't care. I, like you, was the fun guy at the party, until I got into my 30s and became completely reclusive and wanted to be at my house alone, with a bottle of jameson and a pack of cigarettes. That is what I loved. Every night. That is what I thought I loved, but I was in denial about that being my happy place. I was miserable and hated people. I would go weeks without seeing people besides giving someone money at the liquor store checkout. That is what I became after being a social person all my life. I didn't have friends besides the ones I grew up with, but I didn't live in the same state as any of them or any family and that was partly by alcoholic design even though I didn't acknowledge that part of the equation. Around 30 I started getting regular, routine check ups at the doctor and lied to him about my drinking. My liver counts were bad and an ultrasound showed I had fatty liver. I knew what it was and what it was from and I didn't care. I had a bottle waiting for me at home, so fucking hurry up doc, I gotta get out of here. This all continued for ten years with a couple half-assed efforts of stopping. So this past summer I fell a couple times and couldn't get up. I couldn't get out of bed for 3 days even to make it to the bathroom, so you can imagine what that looked like. Just 3 bottles of whiskey and covered in my own waste. My buddy, who is also an alcoholic found me and called an ambulance. I was straight with the ER people about everything. They did all the tests and I had a good idea what was coming next. It was full on cirrhosis. So there it was and I knew I was killing myself and I wasn't suicidal, I just couldn't and didn't want to stop. But I deep down knew my life would be so much better if I did because I wasn't myself and hadn't been in 15 years. My 7 year old niece told me she had never seen me smile and that crushed me. So oddly enough, when they told me I had an irreversible liver disease that would most likely kill me, I wasn't scared, I was strangely relieved because I knew that was the only thing that would make me stop and stopping was the only thing that would make me happy. So today is 228 days without a drink and I'm a different person. Completely different. I'm happy and energetic all the time. I don't get irritated with everything and everyone. It's almost like living in a happy, zen type place that I never knew was in my makeup. I love every minute of it and it's also terrifying. Terrifying because I know I'm still in the honeymoon phase with this and terrifying because I'm learning who I am as a person. It's the first time in my adult life that I haven't been looking for a drink and planning when I would be able to get to my alone time with my bottle. Every experience is different now because of that and I have no idea how I'm going to react to every situation, big or small, because I'm getting to know myself all over again. It is scarey as hell and exciting as hell. It's truly a new life. 4 months after I stopped, one of my best friends dropped dead of a heart attack at 41. I went up to Chicago to bury him. I didn't have any idea how I would handle it. My friends are all from my childhood and we are really, really tight, so it helped having them there. We all went to a bar after the funeral and it wasn't hard for me at all to not drink, but when I left and was alone again, I got a pretty strong urge. A month ago another very close friend of mine got married out in California, so this time the whole crew would be back together for a fun occasion. That wasn't hard for me either and I was very worried it would be. But some of us alcoholics didn't drink and the non alcoholics got drunk because it was one of those occasions for it. And every single one of them told me how proud they were of me and brought me diet cokes. So now I'm at my parents for the holidays and they really stress me out, but every day and every experience, I gain more confidence and a little less worry about picking up the bottle. Bottom line, if I drink I will die, and I want to take this ride as long as I can. Just 228 days ago, I didn't care. Now I'm all smiles for my niece and everyone else.