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Revised for honesty...

Simple reply: "Dear Mr. President, I am writing to inform you of a concerning security breach. Apparently, a child has gotten hold of some presidential stationery and is sending out ridiculous letters and signing your name."

Well to be fair if you're a professional sports journalist based in Austin, you follow the football team, and you watched the entire 2005 season and didn't vote for VY then quite frankly you deserve to be mocked and ridiculed for the rest of your career.

I look forward to Rudy claiming that the Dotard barely knows Don Jr.

Rudy Giuliani is Lionel Hutz. Trump is innocent No collusion! ”Did I say that? What I meant was...” Trump is innocent? No, collusion!

Maybe she can give a long heartfelt speech like she did for the beer guzzling date raper. Fuck her.

The kids in Spain fall mainly down the drain.

Bru McCoy was never coming here, if that makes you feel any better. You got 995’d. Wake up

As near as I can tell, there are 2 kinds of guitar players in the world. Those with kick ass Flying V's and those without. I just flipped to the other side. Trust me, it's way cooler over here. [emoji41][emoji41][emoji41][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23] Presenting my new-to-me 2007 Gibson Flying V '67RI! Bought it from a Guitar Center in LA after finding it on the used gear section of their website. Guy on the phone said it had to o major issues or damage other than ordinary wear. I swear its like brand new. Hell, even the case looks brand new. I can't even find any signs of buckle rash. This will pair nicely with my black Explorer '67RI.

Yep, can't imagine someone blaming someone else for their problems for 20+ years.

this year's "OU is a program on serious decline" thread ?

Casey confirmed he’s removing his name from the transfer portal & returning to Texas.

I feel very strongly about this. So when you're selling a "Brisket breakfast taco," it had better damn well have eggs and brisket in it. Q: If it's a tortilla wrapped around some brisket, how is that a breakfast taco? A: It's not, it's a gotdam brisket taco.

No. No. Fucking. Mercy. You don’t get chemo only to leave fucking tumors to grow right back. We need to kill every. Last. Fucking. Cancer cell. Everyone who participated in the criminal conspiracy should die in prison. All of them. We can’t let this cancer come back.

Letting unlimited, untraceable money into politics really helped accelerate things.

He may be too “centrist” for some and too green for others, but no one can deny he’s charismatic and inspiring. Dude’s a rock star.

But we did confirm Chip Brown is a cunt whistle

Hits close to home. Grandpa Saxton's grass allergy was probably the only thing that kept Saint Darrell's first NC from being '61 instead of '63. Jimmy ripped off a good long run against TCU early in 1Q, got kinda dinged just short of the goal line, but the real problem was said to be the faceful of grass he got at the bottom of that tackle. His absence screwed up the old-time sub rules and our running game suffered to the point where we were unable to put the ball in the end zone despite having multiple first-and-goals. TCU had Sonny Gibbs at QB - something like 6'7" and 240 pounds made him pretty much the biggest thing on the field. Still remember him tossing passes with two or three 'Horns hanging onto him, unable to drag him down. They scored, and we lost that game 6-0. The limited substitution rules kept us from making a FG - not sure we even tried - I think Darrell said we woulda won 21-6 if we'd kicked a FG every time we had 4th and goal. Hey, woulda, coulda, shoulda. I think we were #1 for a whole week, maybe a little longer, but our 6-0 loss cost us that top spot in the polls. Also screwed up my letter to my best friend, who was Joe Willie Namath's roomie in Tuscaloosa - I was gloating over all the wonderfulness of my freshman year on the Forty Acres, what with #1 and all... and then we lost that TCU game, and guess who took our place atop the rankings? Yeah. Well... it's been a good year for Sams, and welcome to the latest one.

Movin’ to the countrty Gonna eat a lot of hamberders

Just received this email from Senator Starched Jeans: A lot of words saying basically nothing. My response: Senator Cornyn, I'm not sure I understand your frustration. You and the Republican Party are in the unique position to end this shutdown today, simply by bringing to a vote a host of bills submitted to the Senate by the House since the new Congress was seated. Or, the majority of the Senate, undoubtedly joined by the entire Democratic members, could bring to a vote the same bill they approved by acclamation in December. The only things preventing an immediate end to the shutdown is President Trump's stated unwillingness to sign any bill that does not include over $5B for additional wall funding, and your Senate Leader's refusal to bring any bill regarding reopening the government to a vote. Democrats and Republicans agree that funding for border security is necessary and have agreed to that; they simply disagree to additional funding strictly for construction of a wall that would not be an effective means of increasing border security. I urge you to cease writing platitudes regarding looking forward to resolutions while doing nothing to in fact resolve anything. The voters (I was one of yours) are watching.

Bunch of pussies in here. The last 3 Heisman winning quarterbacks at Oklahoma have something in common. They've all lost to Texas. Two of them lost to Texas the year they won the award.

Actually, I have a transcript from the spelling bee: moderator: Spell "baseball" aggy: Baseball. b...a...s...e..C! SEC!...dammit moderator: sit down

To Catch a Creditor

Seeing the news that Jalen Hurts transferred to OU for a single year struck me as really odd. For starters, the Air Raid is a system that depends on extremely high numbers of reps so reads and throws are almost muscle memory rather than conscious decisions. Hurts is a one and done situation and will have little time to learn the system and a fraction of the reps that even a RS freshman would get. That would probably be OK if Hurts was coming from another team that ran Air Raid or passing spread but that obviously is not the case here. Hurts is coming from a very run-heavy offense where the QB is mostly asked to make simple reads. I don’t see any real background in spread passing concepts like the multiple quick reads required to run OU’s offense. Many of Riley’s plays also require timing to hit a window which is another reason why reps are so important. Hurts is a good runner and Riley seems to feel he needs that at the QB position but he seems like quite the project and a real risk in the passing department. Watch some tape. He locks in on his first read and rarely comes off and throws to a secondary except under 2 conditions: 1) checkdowns or 2) when resurveying the field after flushing from the pocket. I don’t see the quick 1-2-3 read progressions from the pocket needed to take advantage of matchups in the spread. That’s not entirely his fault since he’s had 3 different OCs in his time in Tuscaloosa – 4 if you count Sarkisian but he’s not a developed passer. If Hurts is successful at OU it will be the first time I’m aware of that has happened with a 1st year QB coming from outside the Air Raid system. If you look at the history of Mike Leach at Texas Tech, he NEVER started a first year player at QB. Every one of his starting QBs redshirted and most did not play until their 3rd or 4th year in the program. After Kliff Kingsbury, Leach had 5th year seniors as first time starters for 3 years in a row: Symons, Cumbie and Hodge. In the case of transfers to OU, Mayfield got a good foundation at Lake Travis. He polished that under Kingsbury at Tech. He redshirted a year in Norman before starting. Murray played under Sumlin and Jake Spavital. He transferred, redshirted and then played backup for a year. He had 3 ½ years of exposure to the Air Raid before his first start. Hurts will get 7 months of practice from a much lower starting point. This is all quite a contrast to the mature period of the Air Raid offense in Lubbock under Leach. The Pirate was able to take 3-star whodats, run them through the program and those guys would break records once they got to start. Lincoln Riley has had multiple QBs recruited under his supervision as first OC, then HC. Are they not developing into starters? It seems odd that even a gifted passer could come in and displace a 3rd year player in a system that requires so much repetition, much less someone as raw as Hurts. I suspect Jalen Hurts may do well at OU. He will definitely do damage with his feet. He has a strong and accurate arm so he will make a lot of plays where the first read is there. He will also miss a lot of reads and make mistakes If he continues to lock in and stare down his primary receiver. He definitely looks sub-optimal for the OU passing attack. But Lincoln Riley has made the judgement that Hurts is clearly better than anything he has on campus right now. Maybe Riley can perform a total makeover in a small window. Is this just the logical end result of the free agency / transfer portal era? It makes me wonder what exactly is going on.

Ask Mike Pence. I'm sure his rolodex is full of all the "tops" in DC.

I wouldn't worry too much. Almost every kid I deal with smokes weed regularly. Of course, I work in a juvenile court, so....

Just don't leave it in the sink overnight.

So what time tomorrow will he enter his name into the transfer portal?

Also CNN is reporting that this travel was not known publicly previously, so trump just put pelosi's shit on blast and created a security risk for the SECOND PERSON IN THE LINE OF SUCCESSION for the presidency. Just absolutely zero regard towards safety of the republic or its ability to conduct its business.

You overuse this word.

President Donald Trump saying that the left doesn’t care about our country really makes me mad, because it reminds me of how divisive Obama was.

A lot of people don't know this, but El Paso is actually closer Los Angeles than Silsbee is to Austin, if you're giving Lagaryonn Carson a ride.

The man knew exactly what he was talking about. But then he was an actual conservative.

I want Nunez and Ryan and Scalise and Pence on the gallows too. President Pelosi. I wants it.

You're missing the point... the UGa and Bama offenses, aren't even close to what ou will run. Riley's is a heavy run / PA / RPO offense. They run a GT counter / counter trey type action on the OL, and let the RB's go off... but they run that same action to confuse LBs and dump the ball off to a RB or hit a WR over the top or on a crossing route... Riley is not running pure Air Raid.... Personally, I think he's running Smashmouth with some Air Raid (or WCO) based passing fundamentals for the RPO... Mike Leach's Air Raid is trying to get the ball to a receiver, in an open space, quickly, so the receiver can make a play with athleticism. Riley seems to have attached that tenet on the back of "confuse the LBs with OL movement that looks like run." Which is why he'll be gone to the NFL soon. They're going to figure out that he is doing what they really want to do... keep the same plays they've run forever and attach the ability for a WR or TE to be free in space. If you really want to feel a little something... watch the NE Patriots offense and the Riley offense... they're really similar in what they're trying to do... hold the LB and or get a receiver into a wide open space. it's not rocket surgery, it's just beautiful play design predicated on knowing what the defense is going to key on in the run game. WHAT?!??! Snacks has gone crazy! Nope. Watch the plays... Some type of pull by GT... run... Motion a slot... vacate a spot, some Some type of pull by GT, run fake, know where the 'open space' is, throw it to some small white guy you've never heard of. Put Gronk on the line, G-counter run fake, Gronk fakes block, T blocks the guy over Gronk, Gronk is running free and you're screaming, "How do you not cover F'n Gronk?!?!" Because it was made to look like a run play and Gronk sat at the LOS looking like a doofus for 1 beat... then ran to the open space.

If you want to really split hairs, you can debate the unofficial nomenclature of ordering breakfast tacos. For example, you would never order a cheese and bean taco. That's just wrong. It's always bean and cheese. Also, it's always ______ and egg (e.g., potato and egg, bacon and egg, chorizo and egg, wiener and egg, etc.) and then any extras (cheese, guac, or god forbid sour cream, etc). The correct usage is: "Give me a potato and egg with cheese and guacamole." Don't fucking say, "Give a taco with cheese, guacamole, eggs and potato." If you have a taco with eggs, beans and cheese, it's always a bean and egg with cheese. It's not a bean and cheese with eggs. Why? I have no fucking clue but that's the way it is.

Pretty sure army brat guarded Naismith

The picture in my mind is black DC firefighters turning the hoses on these rednecks.