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next mention of simms, applewhite, LA area airports or anything else not dealing with 2019 recruiting is taking time off

Yeah, if we could go ahead and shut the fuck up about Chris Simms, that’d be great.

Bru know Mars?

She never has a straight face.

This is going to shock all of you,... but my wife has been re-doing furniture as one of her hobbies. She will go to some antique place, buy some beat up chair or loveseat, go search out some unique fabric and then take it over to the reupholster guy to rehab. The reupholster/ furniture rehab guy, who we refer to affectionately as "Toothless," due to his lack of permanent dentition, has been doing this shit for her for years now. To my wife's credit, Toothless is very inexpensive. However, he is also extremely lazy / inefficient / flaky / high / unmotivated / whatever. Since she's always dropping crap off at his shop, it's a kind of a rotating inventory deal. She brings him supplies, months and months later when he needs some cash to go fishing, he finally gets off his ass and fixes it and then gets paid. Well.... a few months back, his shop goes up for sale. My wife talks to him and Toothless mentions something about starting to work out of his garage, but my wife doesn't think much of it. She goes by there a few days ago and everything's gone. The shop, which was formerly stacked to the ceiling with yet-to-be-fixed furniture, is completely empty. Toothless's phone is disconnected and he has gone completely off the grid. Gonzo. My wife has ~$2,000 (at least that's the number she admitted to me, it's probably a good deal north of that) worth of furniture and fabric at his shop. Needless to say, my wife is PISSED, "That chair I left him was from the 1700's and that loveseat with the foldout bed? You will never find something like that." Now I have to go into Jim Rockford mode to find this guy. I'm looking up anything I can on him and through interweb sleuthing, I come to find out he sold his shop for something obscene like $375,000. That's good cash for just about anybody, but for Toothless it's like hitting the fucking Powerball. If we can't find him, my wife wants to call the police. You think she has one single receipt from this guy?

please stop starting threads...

Fair warning, this is a bit long. But it exemplifies all things Aggie. So the Macanudo-ettes had a lacrosse tournament in College Station this weekend. Didn't want to go but, hey, I'm a good dad so we made our plans. Teams were assigned by the tournament director to area hotels and we drew the short straw: The Texas A&M Conference Center & Hotel. It's everything you think it is and more. The bar is named The Block T after the dumbass Corps Band's "special maneuver" that leaves the Aggie faithful breathless. The snack bar is called Junction Market. Right on Campus, directly across from Kyle Field. Major awesome rates of $299 a night for non-conference games and $399 a night for conference ones. But I digress. As we pulled out town on Friday, we got a reminder via text that check-in begins at 4:00 but if we weren't going to be there by 7:00 we needed to let them know so they could keep out reservation. WTF? Ever been to a hotel that has a 3 hour window for check-in before you have to worry about losing your room? Not me. We made it to the hotel about 6:45 and the clusterfuck was on. There were two option for parking; Valet at $24 a day or self park for the hourly rate. Based on where the closest self-park garage was and a significant chance of rain on Saturday, valet seemed the way to go. We pull up to the hotel and it's on what amounts to a dead end. One way in and one way out. And probably 20 people waiting to valet. We had team function to get to so I unloaded everything we needed for the night and told the valet dude that I'd be right back. They only had two guys parking cars so there was no way they'd get to me before we checked in and got back down from the rooms. Check in was surprisingly smooth except for the $200 a night "incidentals" hold they wanted. Sure, no problem. I wasn't planning on stealing any towels or sheep. Got to the rooms and was greeted with this in the entry: Floor to ceiling memorializing all that is Aggie. And it was in every room right inside the door. We put our stuff down and then I looked over above the bed and saw this: It's a 12' by 5' photo a Ring Dance from the late 40s or early 50s. Every room on the 7th floor had pictures like it. Some were on in pairs at 5' by 5'. And every floor had a different theme. I shudder to think that there might be a milk man theme on a floor. I bet Rick Perry asks for that floor. We went to dinner and then came back to sack out. Then I saw this over on the table: A whole book praising Jackie Sherill and the 12th Man experiment that started in 1984. These fuckers still glorify that cheating SOB. Just unbelievable. I decided to take a shower because we had an early game and got to see this: How many Aggies have rubbed one out in these rooms and deposited their deformed sperm on that handle? As I got ready for bed, there was one more thing to catch my eye: It's not just that the train comes every 2-3 hours. Anyone who's been to a game at Olsen knows how these knuckle draggers cream themselves when it goes through. They just fucking love it. And they built a hotel right along Wellbourn without sufficient noise reduction to prevent waking people up at night. And wake me it did. At midnight and 3 am both nights. So flash forward to Saturday morning. Had to have the girls at the fields for an 8:00 am game which really means being there at 7:00 for warmups. We were told that breakfast was complimentary in the dining room. Oh, it was. Just not the buffet or full menu. A small table was set up with some bran muffins, a couple of bananas and apples and some juice. Yeah, that's great fuel for day of running around. The alternative? Either the buffet that cost $22 (after tax) or $8-12 menu items. After mulling our choices we ordered from the menu. By the time our food came, several others teams had arrived en masse and were discovering the same thing. A couple of moms were pissed and letting the staff know. There was a brief, frenzied huddle by the restaurant staff and then an announcement that the buffet was open to lacrosse players and their families. I was staring at an $8 yogurt parfait with fruit. My kids were already chowing down on their eggs and bacon and potatoes. So we finished and went on our way. The tournament proceeded but it was time to get some lunch. As I walked to my car, I realized that there was a shit ton of traffic. We were right across the street from Reed Arena and the Aggie had a 1:00 pm game vs. K-State. Now all the parking required payment. No big deal, it was only $5. But now our lot was closed to entry and I end up about 3 blocks away. Did I mention that it was in the 40s with a 10-12 mph wind? Yeah that was fun. We finish up the day and head back to the hotel to clean up. I valet again because we have about 90 minutes. When we're ready to go, I call down to get the car. I waited a few minutes because I knew there was some kind of function going on in one of the large conference rooms. By the time we get downstairs, the car is parked on the street. I walk over to get in and my key fob isn't there. I go back to the valet stand ask where it is. None of them had any idea. It was just gone. Well this is fucking great. Fortunately, I had the other one in my room. I tell the staff "Find that key, now." I talk to the valet manager and he says they'll look. When we get back from dinner, still no key fob. Valet manager is gone for the night. I go inside and ask for the manager on duty. Some snot nosed kid with a name tag that say "Idiot Aggie '19" comes out and says he's the manager on duty. Are you fucking kidding me? A senior in college is the manager? He proceeds to tell me that this is a valet issue and I need to take it up with them. WTF? It's your hotel dipshit. But after I tell him the valet manager is gone for the night and that this is unacceptable, he says that they will keep looking. That's just great. I decide to head up to the bar. There's a open chair at the bar so I sit down. Nice bar, plenty of seating and they are maybe 50% full. There are 3 bartenders and they are all running around the bar like chickens with their heads cut off. One of them is trying to make what looks like a martini but he started over twice. Another one is pouring beer from a tap and making a huge mess. As one of them swings by my end of the bar, a rather drunk woman asks for another martini. Bartender tells her that they're out of Tito's. She asks for Grey Goose. Also out. Eventually they figured out what they had. Another woman asked for Michelob Ultra. Also out. By this point, I'd been there 5 minutes or so and just gave up. We find out this morning that the key fob still hasn't been located. I tell the staff, I'll be back after the morning games and check out then. After a heated argument about whether I should pay for for the valet parking, they finally took it off my bill and had me fill out some forms to get their insurance company involved to cover the loss. Long story short, Aggies can fuck up anything.

Haha haha holy shit: @DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt He's my favorite recruit of all-time. I feel like he's going to be the rock that turns the program's mentality around. POST #2: Alright yeah, best recruit of all-time. @RomaVicta : I'll predict Dalton Santos for the Gaskamp Award over on BC. If he can bounce back from his injury, I have a feeling he will ring some bells next fall.I love Cherry and everything he brings. I hope we don't need him to be a key player next year. @Snacks: Originally Posted by Hornius Emeritus Obviously I wish the world for the kid but lots of people talk a lot of noise about the things they are going to do and then end up doing squat. It's all talk until somebody gets hit in the mouth. he sounded a bit more mature than just talking noise. he's gotta back it up, but you can kinda tell he means it. @ousux: Wow, after reading that this kid sounds more mature and realistic than many NFL players. Cherry might become one of my favorite Longhorn players ever..

Gotchoo covered fam.

Penn St tried to recruit some fifth graders a few years back. By the reports that I read, they had a terrible time

Just wanted to brag on my little girl. She got in at UVa !! I'm hoping some financial aid comes through, but this is a big dream come true (for both of us).

The whole idea of assimilation is kind of absurd. The only thing to assimilate to is the communication method. Other than that, what do they need to assimilate to? Our laws? Our culture? Laws should be followed regardless and broken by natives more than immigrants. And our culture is built on decades of consuming cultures from around the world and making it "ours". All assimilation is, is a form of tribalism. Like when native Austinites complain about people Dallasing up our culture or too many Californians. Allow me to communicate with you, otherwise enjoy the opportunities America has to offer in your own way as long as you are not hurting another person by doing it.

I agree with others that it’ll be easy for any fan base to rationalize a Shepherd take, but I’d prefer we not waste a spot on him and save it for 2020 where we can get an extra OL prospect that is more likely to be a good college player. My issue with Shepherd is that he doesn’t have just one red flag. He’s got flags over academics, character (punching a coach/getting suspended), work ethic, and weight (he was up to roughly 350 at some point in the last year). If he only had like one, maybe two of these red flags, I’d be more inclined to take a chance on him, but all those things combined make his bust rate extremely, extremely high.

You look at this thread and it's just all about repeating the same five things about Charlie Strong over and over again.

Both of the Afghan refugee kids we work with are big-time soccer players (the younger one is really exceptional). It's really funny to us that, as he's been learning English, he's also picked up a fair amount of spanish from the kids he plays soccer with at school and the league. He said that at first, they spoke spanish because he couldn't understand them, so they could talk about a play without him figuring it out. So, he picked up on the language pretty quickly. Now he and his teammates jaw at each other in English and Spanish....neither of which is his first language. Assimilation requires two things: an immigrant willing to assimilate, and a society that welcomes him. Most of the people who bitch the hardest about the first thing do their damnedest to prevent the second thing. It's fucking absurd.

Did he just say that America already has someone in office who isn't the smartest person? lol

2017 - learning how to be competitive again 2018 - learning how to win again 2019 - Texas returns to steamrolling MFers again.

"This room was in bad shape. Smelled like menthols. Obama sat here all day watching BET and Soul Train. I've always said that those people make bad tenants."

I've heard rumors that aggy is largely populated by regards, mouth breathers, inept trolls, and transgenders who regretted their surgery. If this is true, would that still leave room for bigoted rednecks, fans of dangerous engineering failures, and Blinn dropouts?

Oh fuck you. Fuck you right to hell.

Eat dick, fuckface. You don't know shit now and you never have. You spew all over this board like you know shit but are proven wrong time and again. Your opinion on shit is less than worthless to me.

SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ME! *hastily stuffs handfuls of perfectly tailored Chinese knock-off NFL jerseys into a suitcase*

My son regularly plays soccer against largely Hispanic teams, many from South Texas. When those kids are speaking among themselves, it's almost exclusively in Spanish. On the field, and especially when they have one or more white kids playing, it's all English. I have seen exactly zero indication that they aren't "assimilating". They are certainly learning and speaking fluent English. All of this bullshit about assimilation is just that -- bullshit. It's fear-mongering.

They didn't lose your keys, they just ran out of fob

That dog has seen some shit.

Stop saying thot, you sound like a fucktard.

Simms sucked against OU, as did the rest of the offense every time we faced them during that era, and he choked against CU in the Big 12 Championship Game. But he was a hell of a QB at Texas, worked the aggies, was tough as hell, was huge in branding and recruiting, and didn’t deserve anything that happened to him from our fucking fan base. He also doesn’t deserve to be viewed as anything but a massive part of Texas being launched back into the forefront of the sport of college football. It fucking sucks that he won’t even speak publicly about his time at Texas.

This shit can't be real. It just can't

John Bolton is a pathetic human being. He's barely taller than that podium. That'd be fine if his self loathing pathos and diminutive, slightly feminine physical stature wasn't interwoven into his worldview that is just a sad, dedicated eagerness to send real men to places his cowardice would never allow him to go. "War for thee, but not for me." A little tiny guy with a frightened heart, soft hands, no chin going through life angry about the royal flush life dealt him and roller coaster height requirements -- a complicated ball of fragile psychosis who believes that all the grass is best watered with other people's blood and money.

That's what the FBI said before they ran into three folders on the coffee table labeled "My Crimes - Me Being Roger Stone" "Jerome Corsi's Crimes Aside From That Dreadful Sweater Vest" "Trump's Crimes." Nobody knew what to think of the framed photograph of Sam Nunberg wearing a sailor suit and holding a lollipop.

I do like the imagined details when he was coming up with the story. "What do black people like again? Oh yeah! Basketball!"

I think the word you are looking for is extensive. I suspect there is too much penis for you and too much vagina for me.

Forgive me if I do not consider DOTUS as a representative sample of outsiders cutting their teeth in office. Trump’s major failing has less to do with lack of experience and about everything to do with his tertiary syphillis and narcissism.

Not sure if I read this here or on Twitter, but I recall someone saying something along the lines of people like to claim that trump is playing chess while others are playing checkers when in reality, he's more often than not just eating the pieces.

A&M had to leave the Big 12 to be able to win it every single year

Because Alfred de Zayas sounds furrin and probably likes soccer and tiny little scooters and drinking aperitifs and digestifs and sneaking a little Disaronno Originale into his tiny espressi until he's found drooling at his desk with "BBC Wuld Suhvice" prattling in the background so then he half-wakes up, staggers to his scooter, takes a swig of Ricard from the bottle stashed under the seat, and putts off to his boyfriend Ernst's performance exhibit of German Men Silently Weeping, where, desiring attention and belching liqueur, he provokes a furious row and then storms out, next seen two ancient Italian cities over, kicking a gypsy who accused him of harboring Futurist Crypto-Ezra-Poundian views, outside a soccer stadium. I mean, that's what I got from it.

he's never opened a bible in his life. fact.

Anyone who claims that voter fraud is rampant problem should probably punch themselves in the balls until they die.

Several years ago the federal government was condemning land in Eagle Pass for fencing. My client, a bank, had a purchase money lien on the property but wasn't added to the eminent domain proceeding. Gov't paid the landowner, who took off with the money and stopped paying the bank so I foreclosed. The Asst. U.S. Attorney started crying when I told them that we had an assignment of those condemnation proceeds and they just lost their land.

2017: 2018: 2019:

Here is something to always keep in mind: The Texas AG is a lying sack of shit who shouldn't be trusted to walk your dog. Anytime you base a post on something that felon said, you are knowingly posting something that is probably false. Since I can't tell him to fuck off in this thread, I'll tell you to fuck off. Fuck off.

Jesus, can we not immediately write off every freshman that redshirts and assume they are going to be a waste of a scholarship or an immediate transfer?

Toothless will soon be appearing on PBS Antiques Roadshow with a chair from the 1700's that'll be worth $50k.

I watched "Get Me Roger Stone" last night on recommendations here. It doesn't shed any light on the conspiracy with Russia angle, aside from letting you know exactly who this guy is and what he is capable of. My overriding thoughts after watching that don't make a shit: Roger Stone has a hand in just about everything I haven't liked in government in general and the GOP in particular since my first vote cast for Reagan. Aside from his having a heavy hand in destroying America, I find myself liking the guy. He is unabashedly who he is. Probably a great guy to have a beer with and listen to his fucking stories. I wouldn't go on a double date with him and his wife, tho. He is Trump's soul mate. I think he is every bit Trump's equal as a narcissist and sociopath. I think Stone's rules are Trump's rules (better to be infamous than not famous; attack, attack, attack, never defend; nothing is on the level; you must be prepared to do anything; etc...) I can't reconcile point 2 and 4 above. Trump and Stone are ideological dopplegangers and sociopathic narcissists who are the worst of American politics, but I can't help but feel some respect and even affinity for Roger Stone while I loathe Trump unequivocally. 2016 makes more sense to me now A lot of what looks like buffoonery on his and Trump's part is carefully manufactured stagecraft to appeal to a certain type of person who can be motivated to vote Trump owes a large debt to Stone for the strength of his political base and 2016 election win It would be very hard to give anything Roger Stone says any credibility whatsoever in any context, perhaps especially in testimony under oath I am 100% certain that he would criminally conspire with the mafia, Russia, Satan, a dude who raped and killed his mother or whoever was necessary to get his man elected and/or destroy an opponent Presidents come and go, but this guy just keeps on coming back like a horror movie villain

This might be the greatest "Every accusation is a confession" yet.

Shephard has joined Garrett Wilson in the category of recruits I stopped giving fucks about a long time ago.

I don’t GAF bout the murals or any of that shit. It’s the $22 for a gotdamn roasted chicken that gets my goat. Fucking hipsters think that if they slap enough adjectives on something (“slow roasted, individually curated, free-range, Slappy Creek farmed, Rock Island Red hens”) they can double the price. $22 chickens. $5 tacos. Fuck that shit. I’m going to Pollo Regio.