Leaderboard

Stoops thought they said "semen-holes"

The "it's not done" concept is one that I struggled with for many years. Because it's NEVER done. A normal person furnishes a room, throws some paintings (or a giant ceramic crab, as the case may be) up on the wall and that's that. But not until it was explained to me that decor is a fluid, constantly changing ideal rather than something that has an absolute beginning and an end, did I truly give up. Good luck Celery. It only gets worse. And for a more apropos contribution to this thread... my wife has an acquaintance who is a wedding planner. Apparently it is a thing now for there to be a special table at wedding receptions for the bride and groom. And it is apparently now a thing that the bride/groom table be something especially "unique". And it is apparently now competitive among brides in having an especially unique bride/groom table. And guess who has the most unique one-of-a-kind plates, table settings, furnishings, table cloths, nick knacks, etc? And guess who was offered something like $1500-2000 per weekend to rent this shit out but thinks it's kinda trashy to rent out your personal stuff and doesn't want the hassle of people coming in and removing our stuff and is afraid for something to get damaged because, "That stuff is irreplaceable and they don't make those plates anymore and I don't want my stuff broken. And can you imagine them coming in and removing that loveseat right out of our living room for the weekend?" The most uncomfortable love seat known to man? Not only can I imagine them removing it and hopefully never bringing it back, but I'm pretty sure I would have an orgasm if somebody paid good American dollars for the pain of actually sitting on it. Are you fucking kidding me? So in the most unbelievable upset in the history of mankind, I was on the verge of monetizing all some of the ridiculous crap that my wife has procured over the years only to be kicked in the nuts.

son went to a movie last night since they are out of school today. it started around 8, and wife went to pick him up a little after 9. i get a text from her complaining that he hadn't come out yet around 9:45. W- they haven't come out yet. M- why did you go so early to pick up? W- it said it was 1 hour 19 minutes M- are you sure it didn't say 119 minutes? W- uhhh whatever, same thing M-

Someone call KelleyAnne. Tonight was the REAL Bowling Green massacre.

Lifelong Texan living in VA now. First political exposure was working for Bush 1 campaign as a child with my parents and volunteered on the Bush 2 campaign. Have been a reliable R vote for the majority of my life but now voting straight ticket D until/unless the Rs stop being the party of bat shit crazy. Did my part this morning. Lines were relatively long, which hopefully is a good sign.

Just pass the ball. You could literally pick any QB on your roster and have them pass every down. It's actually better if you lose yards on 1st or 2nd down so it's 3rd and long

Got my first opening morning buck ever. Was #1 on my wish list.

It's like TexAgs after a decommitment.

I voted in Kentucky's election today and for the first time in my life I voted a straight-ticket for the Dems. Fuck all trump bootlickers!

Like I did with the last set of excerpts, here's some big and fucking bad highlights. Starting with the Sondland excerpts: During an Oval Office meeting on May 23, 2019, with Ambassador Sondland, Ambassador Volker, and Secretary Perry, President Trump “just kept saying: Talk to Rudy, talk to Rudy.” (Page 61-62) State Department officials were “fully aware of the issues” with Mr. Giuliani, but “there was very little they could do about it if the President decided he wanted his lawyer involved.” (Page 356-358) Mr. Giuliani’s demands “kept getting more insidious” as Ambassador Sondland “became aware that there might be a link between the White House visit and aid to the Ukraine that was being held up.” (Page 91-92, 240, 253-254) With respect to President Trump’s demand that Ukraine investigate the Bidens, “whatever the Ukrainians were going to promise in any context, he wanted it public.” (Page 142-143) The demands that Ukraine investigate the former Vice President’s son were “improper.” (Page 308) Despite multiple accounts that Ambassador Sondland had stated to Ukrainian officials on July 10, 2019, that it was important for Ukraine to deliver specific investigations on the 2016 election and Burisma, he did not recall if the word “Burisma” was mentioned in the meetings. (Page 223-224) And then the Volker excerpts: After learning that Rudy Giuliani intended to pursue allegations raised by Prosecutor General Lutsenko, Ambassador Volker warned Mr. Giuliani that “Lutsenko is not credible.” (Page 226-227) When Vice President Joe Biden encouraged Ukraine to fire former Prosecutor General Viktor Shokin, he was “executing U.S. policy at the time and what was widely understood internationally to be the right policy.” (Page 330) On May 23, 2019, Ambassador Volker, Energy Secretary Rick Perry, and Ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland recommended that President Trump schedule an Oval Office meeting with the newly elected President of Ukraine, but President Trump stated that Ukrainians “tried to take me down” and that they should “talk to Rudy.” (Page 279, 304) On July 3, 2019, Ambassador Volker met with President Zelensky in Toronto, Canada, and explained to him that Mr. Giuliani was amplifying “a negative narrative about Ukraine” that was “counteracting” President Zelensky’s efforts. (Page 242-243) Ukrainian officials “asked to be connected to” Mr. Giuliani as a direct conduit to President Trump. (Page 47) On July 18, 2019, Ambassador Volker became aware that the Office of Management and Budget had placed an “unusual” hold on security assistance to Ukraine, but he was unable to obtain an explanation for the hold. (Page 79-80, 121) On July 19, 2019, during a breakfast meeting at Trump Hotel with Mr. Giuliani and Lev Parnas, Ambassador Volker warned that allegations against Vice President Biden were “simply not credible” based on his personal knowledge. (Page 202-203, 228-231) Ambassador Volker explained a text message exchange in which Ambassador Sondland wrote that President Trump “really wants the deliverable.” (Page 183) Mr. Giuliani insisted that a draft statement to be issued by Ukraine had to include explicit references to “Burisma and 2016.” (Page 71-72, 113) Ambassador Volker discovered that the Department of Justice had not officially asked Ukraine to launch the investigations being promoted by Mr. Giuliani. (Page 196-197, 45) And finally, key excepts from the text messages between Volker and Sondland In late April 2019, after Marie Yovanovitch was abruptly recalled from her post as the Ambassador to Ukraine, Ambassador Taylor relayed his conversation with Deputy Assistant Secretary of State George Kent about becoming Chargé d’Affaires Nearly one month later, Ambassador Taylor continued to struggle with the decision to go to Ukraine and voiced concern about the “Guliani-Biden issue” On May 28, 2019, Ambassador Taylor expressed concern about a “non-normal world” in which White House Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney is involved with an invitation to the Ukrainian President for a White House visit, but not the National Security Council On July 7, 2019, three days before a meeting at the White House between a Ukrainian delegation and National Security Advisor John Bolton, Ambassadors Kurt Volker and Gordon Sondland discussed calling White House Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney On the morning of July 10, 2019, Ambassador Volker met with President Zelensky’s top advisor, Andrey Yermak, at the Trump Hotel before the White House meeting Just before he met Mr. Yermak for breakfast on July 10, 2019, Ambassador Volker highlighted an “opportunity” for Mr. Giuliani “to get you what you need,” and Mr. Giuliani responded that he had “some suggestions” On the same afternoon as the meeting between John Bolton and the Ukrainian delegation, on July 10, 2019, Mr. Yermak sent a text message to Ambassador Volker noting that Mr. Giuliani was “the key for many things” On the evening of July 10, 2019, Ambassador Volker provided an update on meetings at the White House with the Ukrainian delegation, saying it was “not good” On July 22, 2019, Ambassador Volker and Mr. Yermak discussed a potential call between President Trump and President Zelensky and the importance of speaking with Mr. Giuliani first On August 11, 2019, Ambassador Volker contacted Mr. Giuliani about a “statement” from President Zelensky On August 12, 2019, Mr. Yermak sent a draft statement to Ambassador Volker announcing an “investigation,” without mentioning Burisma or the 2016 elections On August 13, 2019, Ambassadors Volker and Sondland proposed to Mr. Yermak that the statement also include “2 key items”—“Burisma and the 2016 U.S. elections” To borrow a phrase, If this is too much of a longcat post, bitch at me and I'll put it into spoilers. I just know that lots of yall won't have the time to click through and read at least the excerpts for yourself so I'm verbatim copying the high points into here. EDIT: just realized I left out one of the biggest things from this new testimony - Zelensky discussed the suspension of aid directly with Mike Pence.

Heh.

As if I needed another reason to dislike Kurt Suzuki.

Silent decommit

How do we know these aren't the thugs posting from the stolen phone?

I don’t know the answer but I know the first thing I do when I’m in a foreign country crisis situation is go to surlyhorns.com so you’re on the right path.

This happened last week - but requires a little backstory: We recently came home with a newborn with CHDs (Congenital Heart Defects). Spent the first couple of months of life in the Cardiac ICU and had heart surgery to repair the defects. Needless to say, we have been watching him like a HAWK the past couple of weeks he has been home. Pretty standard care at home but still scary not having monitors available to assure us his vitals are normal. Last week I had to go into the office for an important meeting - something that has been in the works for about 6 months now. Absolutely could not miss it as I did not want anyone sitting in for me and risking a big payout for us. I explained to my wife that I would be in this meeting from 11:00 AM to 5:00 PM. She understands how big this is and that she should ONLY reach out to me if it was an emergency - no calls or texts otherwise. Normally, I'd leave my phone at my desk but, given the kiddo's condition, I had it with me on silent. About 12:00 PM my phone lights up - a text from my wife. "Trying to give him a bottle, not responding." My heart literally stops when I see the words "not responding". I take that as she is trying to feed him but he is not responding in any way. I excused myself from this very important meeting and call my wife. She doesn't answer. Call her again, no answer. Texted her about a dozen times and no response - not even a "read" receipt on the message. Panicking, I call our neighbors - they both work from home. One of them tells me she will go knock. 5 min later my wife calls and has a pissed off tone to her voice: Her: What is your deal?? Me: WHAT IS GOING ON?? HE IS NOT RESPONDING?? Her: I meant I am giving him a bottle and wont be able to respond to calls or texts during. So, despite there being an agreement to not call or text unless there was an emergency, my wife decided to let me know she, too, was busy when I still had 5 hours left in my meeting. My stance is the wording of her text couldn't have been worse especially given the circumstances and she is sticking to the whole "you should have known what I meant". Luckily, my colleagues/client understood the situation and it didn't cause any major disruption. Even garnered a couple of laughs when I explained what my wife meant. Still scared the ever loving shit out of me.

Looks like VA Senate has FLIPPED

i don't want nor need to watch the doc...and there's plenty of good, moral people who don't belong to any faith based community, and plenty of faith based people are total fucking dregs. i'm sure your friend is a good person, but i don't consider Mormons to be Christians. and that's not just my opinion, either.

Libertarians in general always end up falling in line with Republicans. Rand is no different. Self proclaimed libertarians on this board and back on Shaggy were consistently outspoken and critical of Obama and Hillary yet tend to be silent or find some kind of defense when it comes to holding Trump and the GOP to the same standards. At the end of the day, Libertarians are just Republicans who smoke weed and like to name their kids after crappy authors.

This alone should be an impeachable offense.

So she couldn’t name the country, but she knew its national anthem?

Your dad will come looking for you. Just know this: you're going to be taken. When they come, make sure to be as descriptive as possible when describing any identifiable marks or tattoos. They're probably from Albania. Tripoya if I had to guess. Also, I see some heroin in your future...and you're gonna get raped.

I'd really like someone to shove a giant dildo in his eye socket.

CDC is never going to micromanage any program or any coach. That just isn't his personality. Tom Herman is still young to be heading up the biggest college football program (in terms of scope and revenues) in the nation. Yes, guys like Lincoln Riley are younger and kicking ass, but we have TH, not Lincoln. In Herman's first year, he made some very questionable decisions involving personnel (Horny, Leitao) that unnecessarily cost him some goodwill with the alumni. He seems to have learned from the lesson. In his second year, for some reason, he wasn't doing what was necessary to have the team ready to play at the opening kickoff. That unnecessarily cost a couple of games, including Maryland. His demeanor in press conferences has been a work in progress, with a fair amount of improvement. My point is that Herman has made some mistakes, but he doesn't seem to be repeating his mistakes and none of the mistakes he has made have been unforgivable. CDC is going to give Herman time to develop as head coach of Texas football. That is, quite simply, how CDC operates. The fact he operates that way was one of the reasons he was chosen to lead Texas athletics. He is VERY deliberate, not prone to emotional reactions, and has a very long term horizon in mind for the direction of each and every program. I was at the TCU game. I spoke to CDC about 45 mins after the game, as he was exiting Gate 4 to head down to where the team buses were waiting. He was not upset, worried, or unhappy. Nothing about his demeanor indicated to me he was going to involve himself with the decisions of Coach Herman. Rather, I had every reason to believe he was going to head down to the bus area, chat with parents, fans, and alumni, and head out to spend the evening socializing with friends from Fort Worth. At the end of the season, CDC will meet with TH and discuss the state and the direction of the program. THAT is what CDC is focused on, not on how many rushing yards the team gave up, or how many missed tackles the defense blew. CDC will not concern himself with the employment status of any assistant coach or staffer, unless it is a "with cause" issue that involved the public reputation of the program. Tom Herman will be held accountable for his long term stewardship of the program, including his decisions involving his assistant coaching staff. CDC is not going to force Herman to make a coaching change and then hold Herman responsible for the performance of an assistant coach that was forced upon him against his wishes. That is not how CDC operates.

Puff the Cocoa Dragon.....

Snot-nosed graduate students.

Hey! Look at me! Forcing a story down a partisan line until I can't and then using it to discredit the news media who are the only reasons we know about this! The news media are not monolithic. This ABC anchor tape is evidence that at least the story got explored and was sadly killed due more to the power of those threatened by the story than any political persuasion. She and others dug up the story (like the Me Too stories starting with Weinstein) and were silenced by worried management afraid of losing lawsuits and (actually this is shameful) not getting crowd-pleasing puff pieces with foreign royals. Enemy of the people? Like tort lawyers, unions, and Congress, the press is one of the few allies the regular guy can occasionally get help from. Railing against those entities has been part of the right's hate engine strategy for decades and look at where we are. Idiot World populated by idiots who can't tell a thieving hand from a helping hand.

Sat in a blind on Sunday evening with my 9-year old son. My dad sat in a different food plot. We didn't see much. A spike came out just after sunset. We let him walk because we were hoping for does and pigs. We'll try again this weekend. Still not much better than walking through the woods with my dad and son, even coming up empty.

It isn't genetic, but lack of exercise, diets filled with processed food, increasing screen time, decreasing human connection, more time inside, less sleep, long commutes and sprawling/drive everywhere built environments, lack of job opportunities that pay a living wage and lack of work/life balance for the ones that do all have been shown to have a negative impact on both mental and physical health. All modern phenomenons. America has created a society tailor made for bad health outcomes. Sent from my SM-G920V using Tapatalk

Pork chops taste good. Bacon tastes good.

Which Jersey housewife is this one?

I actually don't buy the rift in the lockerroom being between older and younger players. I think Herman is spinning it that way, when in reality, it's between players and coaches. Instead of addressing that directly, he's bringing in the upperclassmen and trying to figure out from them why the underclassmen aren't buying in to the coaches. That's just an educated guess on my part, based on some of the things I know have happened in the lockerroom.

Students at UT Austin pay about twenty cents on the dollar of the actual cost of their education. You might want to keep that in mind before being condescending, and thumping yourself on the chest about what perceived “rights” you insist you are entitled to. No one here is impressed by how much you spent to attend UT. Next time, just answer the question.

Neat bro

Merry Hoops-mas, mofos. It starts today!!

Can we not do the thing where a bunch of dumbasses read a clearly fantastical post and take it seriously? Fucking fuck don’t be morons, please. Just once. Just this once? Shit.

I used to work as a pizza manager when in my early 20s. This question happened often. "How big is your 10" pizza?" "Uh, 10 inches." "No, I mean - how many slices does it have?" Once a lady asked the first question and my coworker put the phone down by his knee and said "About as big as my dick." and then brought it back up to continue the above conversation. The lady said, "I heard that! I want to speak to the manager!" He said, "I am the manager" and hung up on her.

They’ve been living together in an RV for a year and a half? Shit the man probably paid someone to kill both of them and put him out of his misery.