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You can make a delicious meal out of Skip Bayless' tears.

It sure is (kind of)!

One thing that to me shows how program trajectories are so different is on the fumble into the endzone that Texas recovered for a TD. 100% of time in years past the Sooners fall on that for a touchback and all scream about “Sooner Magic”. This year Texas falls on it and scores. Even luck has left the Sooners, and I am 100% here for it.

Nsiap

We don't cheer for conferences. It's a core pillar of Texas fandom.

This was my favorite Ikard post from the week. Attack 0. The guy that had 11 tackles and 3.5 for loss.

Quoting you just because it's the most recent post along these lines. I wonder if this Texas team is just so good that we're making decent teams look horrendous. Colorado State is 3-3. ULM is 5-1(!). Mississippi State just gave Georgia all they can handle. Part of it is that as fans we can see that this team still hasn't fully clicked but we're still destroying teams so they must be completely awful. But what this post presupposes is, what if they aren't?

This is so f'ing great

Ok- so here's the deal about the SEC- they are playing a rigged game and this whole entire edifice of dominance is a feedback loop built on nothing. I hate that we are in this conference (not that I mind we are gone from the big 12) with these morons, but here we go. Basically- Alabama is the 800 Pound Gorilla. They run things. They swath babies in houndstooth checkered diapers (or maybe just let them shit in those hats- I dunno all their odd customs). Bear Bryant is hallowed and revered. Royal never lost to them. I think we are something like 8-2 against them. Both losses were barely losses after we our starting QB went down. Basically- for Alabama to beat Texas they need luck, help and our QB getting injured and then the game is likely to be 1 score or less toss up with 3 minutes left- even if Garret Gilbert is driving the bus for Texas. Or Hudson Card. Or some other not our standard QB that wasn't ready for prime time and thus wasn't the starter. When our QB stays upright the whole game we swat them. Now, we are getting to the point where sloth (Mack) and stupidity (charlie and Herman) no longer run the program and even if the starter doesn't stay upright it's not a big deal b/c we will come with Arch on your ass. Literally- no team in the SEC beat St. Nick by 10 at their place. Until we scheduled that game. Georgia is next. They became a national power by cheating their asses off and winning every auction in town for a 5 or 10 year stretch, while Kirby Smart managed to squander "all that talent". We had kids spend their entire spring break in Austin, love it hear and then the check from Georgia cleared and they showed up to Athens without a visit to UGA. And yet- for all that Georgia still loses every time they see Alabama on the other side of the field. They are used to being beta submissives. Do they talk a lot of shit? Undoubtedly. I remember how they were so big and bad and tough they were going to beat up on a meathead Tom Herman team. Funny that- we won by 28-21 b/c Turtle Tom is fundamental incapable of winning by more than a score- but anyone who watched that game pointed and laughed at the concept that Georgia was better than us. And that was a shitty Tom Herman team that I believe lost 4 games that year. Whatever. Georgia will learn to bend the knee to Bevo the same way they always have to Bama. And, for added benefit this Bevo has shown that he would just as soon gore UGA as look at him. I like that in Bevo. I assume the football team will be the same. Missouri has a 100 year history of being irrelevant. They showed up and immediately won the division twice with "Big 12 players". Yawn. Just means more. Or something. aggy showed up with big 12 players and promptly had their best year in forever, johnny 8-ball won a Heisman and they went 10-2. Old 8-4 aggy finally found a game they could beat and it was the mighty SEC. Fun fact- their win percentage in the SEC is basically dead ass on the big 12 or SWC all time- but like every so slightly higher in the SEC. So, although they can be mediocre anywhere they can be slightly better in the SEC, even though it's that much harder. Ole Miss- thanks for Archy and Eli's grandson/nephew. Y'all I suppose were almost relevant while they were there. Enjoy rooting for Arch to win 2 Heismans and be on 3 national championship teams wearing burnt orange. Miss State- HA. I can't even summon the energy to write about you. Auburn and LSU- I'd go on and on but you'd just have to have someone read it to you and that would embarrass both me and y'all. Everyone else other than Vandy is a big blob of dreck as far as I'm concerned. Vandy though- I see you over there as the only team in the conference (I believe) to have a winning record against Texas. We are coming to take that away from you in the next decade and then nobody in the conference will have a winning record against us. Y'all have built a national hype machine through ESPN where y'all were the worst of the worst cheaters, and insular thoughtlessness allowed y'all to get away with losing extra games and still playing for it all because it means more. We roll in and see the SEC with 6 of the top 7 teams in the country and all I could do is laugh. Mizzou? Sure Jan. Tennessee? Ha. Lose to Arky, barely beat Florida, beat that abortion of an OU team by 10? Nah. Bama- lose to Vandy. Congrats. Georgia- of course you roll over and expose your belly to Bama. Ole Miss- yeah- any game that looks remotely important you find a way to lose. So- all those schools that were supposed to be so good and we are at the half way point in the season and it's just Texas that has an unblemished record. This is the game that was circled on everyone's schedule around dixieland. It's where big bad Texas is going to get its comupance. Usually, SEC fans are used to drafting behind Bama and riding their coat tails but Sark & Ewers rubbed their nose in it last year. So, now it's up to Georgia to beat us and not expose this conference as the bunch of overrated clowns that we've all, I suspect, deep down, known them to be. Not gonna happen. Texas plays their A game (I'm not talking perfect I mean like what we brought to Michigan and Alabama last year) and it's a 3 score win. Texas plays a B game and we win by 10. If we bring our sloppy bullshit offensive selves to this party (which to be clear I don't expect) that we did against OU (or Washington last year) we are in a coin flip game. I'm not even going to entertain the idea of us playing poorly and not getting up for these yahoos. Texas has pride. Texas has athletic arrogance. Texas has the horses, and the headsets and I think everyone is about to see that there is one team, head and shoulders above the rest of the schools in this conference, and that is Texas. Y'all should have never invited this camel to stick it's nose under your tent. Now that we can play players and don't have to deal with the perception gap yall are about to see what a motivated Texas, with a good signal caller, and everyone pulling on the oars at the same time and in the same direction can do. And it won't be good. For yall. The only problem with this game is I have to wait another 6 days to see it happen. Seems completely unfair. IS he a Georgia dipshit? I thought maybe it was someone who was mad that I used a dirty word or something. Whatever.

Y'all will never guess who has lost his little mind... I for one welcome our new aggy overlords, and shame on those of you who are scoffing about Graham's predictions! He has never been wrong on a prediction before! Well, other than this:

The RRS is the most unique setting in college football, it’s borderline psychotic some of y’all are just willing to throw that away to go pay Jerry for $17 dollar beers and air conditioning. I mean what a soft bunch a gaping pussies, honestly. I was at the 2018 Big 12 Championship, it is nowhere close to the atmosphere and dynamic. Are some of y’all there to watch the Horns kick ass, or is this just another event to be on the scene to get fucked up at? 31 point win and we’re bitching about running out of beer and piss lines. For fuck sake.

Put headsets in the helmets and Venables gets trounced.

Good lord she is incredible.

🤣🤣🤣

I loved seeing Danny Stutsman turn into a glorified Breckyn Hager today 😂

The Cotton Bowl is the best and most authentic place in sports. Yesterday I asked the beer vendor how may beers I was allowed to buy. His response was only to ask me how many I could carry. And then the gentleman offered to put them all into an ice bag that was sitting on the floor. So I stumbled back to my seat with like 6 beers and 6 white claws. We should kill this thread because the notion of not having this game at the fair is insulting and stupid.

Brandon Drumm had a bad day

Buddy of mine who went to the game sent me this. Had a family wedding this weekend and couldn’t go. So watched on TV. IMG_2794.mov

As I told my two kids on the ride in, being miserable is part of the experience. It helps fuel the hate.

I tried to order a maple bacon old fashioned from the concession guy on the east side concourse and he told me they didn't have it.....what a fucking dump.

The biggest thing I took away from watching this game was the talent gap that exists. The Horns were just so much faster on defense. OU’s offense looked like it belonged in the SunBelt. They are going to have a rough few years ahead of them trying to make up that large a talent disparity. Also I saw a graphic that said Helm is only the 9th rated TE prospect for next year’s draft. There are not 8 better players at that position. Just laughable to even think he is rated that low.

Pretty bad when herbstreit just blurts out “I don’t see how ou scores in this game” like midway through the second and both said on multiple occasions on the last drive that the refs were letting ou hold just to get the game over with

Honestly, that tweet from Pancakes McClain is the perfect coup de grace for our time in the Big 12. Schools like his alma mater, Baylor, gravy-trained on Texas for years. They got fatter checks then they deserved because of their association with the big boys. And all along, they bitched about Texas, made snide remarks about Texas, and nipped at our heels like little bitches. Now that Texas is free of the Baylors of the world, and money can be spent over the table, it warms my dark heart to see bitchy fat bears whining about the state of play. Enjoy irrelevancy, assholes! 128,000 people watched Baylor and Air Force in week three on FS1, and you can guarantee that a majority of them were Air Force graduates. During the same week 1.48 million watched Texas play UT freaking SA.

Apparently they need to include vagina balm dispensers in the upcoming upgrade.

5+ minutes left and the overwhelming majority already headed back to the trailer park. Glorious

So, there is a great super secret way to get to Fair Park that was perfect yesterday. (that gravel parking lot is getting worse in terms of number and depth of potholes). Getting in was a bit of a beating. Walk to the Midway Entrance and lines are not bad at all. Yes, construction at the venerable old Bowl was a bit of a beating making entrances a bit tight but .. fuck it .. it's Texas - Clownshow game. Got to our seats in section 14, row 44 ... and 20 minutes before kickoff ... we were in glorious shade... for the rest of the game. My 40th Texas - ou game was glorious. Hook 'em

Fuck the SEC

I made it to the fairgrounds but couldn’t find the stadium. While waiting in line for a corn dog an aggy overheard me asking for directions. All the self-centered, uppity Longhorn fans ignored my plea, but fortunately this kind, service-minded aggy offered to help. Not only did he give me directions but he went above and beyond by actually walking me there. As the game went on I thought about his kindness, the spirit of aggyland, and couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if aggy was taking the field yesterday. In hindsight I’m glad they didn’t, because if they did I honestly think I might have found myself rooting for them.

As long as I have a face, she'll have a place to sit.

PK and Nansen still calling blitzes in the 4th quarter after what we’ve seen in the second half games the last 3 years was refreshing as hell. Everyone wants to talk about what we are likely to lose on offense after the year but think about this defense next year with Simmons, Hill, Burke, Muhammad, Guilbeau, McDonald, Lefau and Smith all a year older.

I pay an aggy grad $5 an hour to stand on the street corner and spin a cardboard arrow that says “Texas is a juggernaut.” I am doing my part.

Are we sure Georgia wanted to be there?

So much different than “what an amazing atmosphere just want the kids to have fun and whether the storm that scares you to death” Mack brown. Fuck ou and here’s to winning 10 straight on these mother fuckers.

He plays for OU. I hope they do very badly against every other team on their schedule.

You can actually see and hear the disdain he has for Kurt Bowels. That's my coach

The pontificating was astute and intellectual. And is there a prettier site than this?

Ghost of Pedo...

They suck, we should win convincingly.

The Cotton Bowl is glorious. Not for the weak nor timid.

Just back from ACL and holy cow Dua Lipa is an absolute smokeshow.