Ok...
It’s your worst nightmare. You’re peacefully sleeping then, suddenly, your brain kicks on and the thought ,”Did I just hear something/someone in my house?” The dog at the foot of the bed picks up her head and begins a low growl. (Fuck.) Opening your eyes into darkness only to see a light glowing from your stairwell. (Fuck me.)
Call out daughter’s name no answer. (No pics)
Call out again, while grabbing my pistol, no answer. I get out of bed, and slip on my shoes. Wife wakes up and asks what I’m doing. I reply softly that the dog and I heard a noise downstairs and I see a light moving around. She replies, “Holy Shit!”
I put my left index finger to my lips and my Heart is pounding. I slowly turn my head to look down the hall. Nothing there but still see the light trembling in the dark. I start creeping down the hall foot over foot like a Navy SEAL. I check my daughter’s door and slowly look in to see that she is still sleeping, but I hear another, much louder noise. My Maltese-Poodle mix is right by my side not moving a muscle and focused on my movements. Gun is ready and so am I, as I cautiously peer down the stairs and hear a door open and close hard!! Heart is pounding hard.
My eyes follow the light and I can see that it’s an LED nightlight that my daughter had placed precariously on a shelf by the stairs that had fallen and turned on causing the glowing/moving light. I turn on all of the lights and quickly check my doors and windows. No intruders, but I hear a flushing toilet... upstairs.
I go back to our bedroom to see my wife just getting back in bed and this was the exchange:
wife: What happened? Is everything ok?!
me: Yes. It was the light daughter put on the table, but what the fuck were you doing?!?
wife: I had to use the bathroom.
me: while I’m walking downstairs with my gun looking for a possible intruder?!?
wife: ...I had to pee. What was I supposed to do?
me: At the very least, not make any GD noise.
wife: tone.