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Herpa Derpa

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Herpa Derpa

  1. Oh, oh, oh, it's magic you know. Never believe it's not so.
  2. This isn't about some goddamn game. This is about our lives! Don't you get it? Goddamnit! DON'T YOU GET IT!?!
  3. Fuck them kids. I've gone a lifetime without ever getting a homer or foul ball. I'd donkey punch your mother for my chance. Snot nosed little fucks can learn to stake their claim like adults or get out of the fucking way. This ain't a fucking tea party, it's baseball. For this grown-ass man, I think adults who base their worldview on catering to children are the greater threat to a civil society than the one teaching the rugrat there's no free lunch in life.
  4. You're being kind.
  5. Think y'all both might need to be here.
  6. Can't make a catch if you don't cast a line. Sometimes you gotta throw a few lines in the water to make sure you eat.
  7. I thought every West Coast kid grew up dreaming of playing baseball in Winston-Salem and Pittsburgh?
  8. It's because their mommas listened to Waylon and Willie and raised them as instructed.
  9. But the body of a man twice his age.
  10. Is that the same as bird law?
  11. He's a 50 year old man that I have only seen dressed like a feckless twit for the past three decades. All the credit for forging a career in grifting aggy coin but he really is a little basement boy. His world is gonna fall apart when Mama Luicci kicks.
  12. It can also be quite a jolt to one's self worth to realize you're now just another faceless schlub punching a timeclock until the sweet release of death. First half of your life you were feted like a King by everyone you encountered. Then you're a nobody only vaguely remembered by diehards. It's gotta be a hard fall from elite to regular. Thank god I've managed to contain myself to mediocrity.
  13. Eh, she talked shit on the court and in the media when she won . Then she cried foul when she lost and people gave the shit right back. She doesn't deserve death threats or racist taunts but that's simply a strawman attempt to evade accountability on what she does deserve. She's a poor sport. She don't have to die but she can go fuck herself. Dish, take. A simple concept.
  14. I root for those who I believe do it the "right" way and deserve good things. Barnes deserves at least one more FF on the resume and I will root for him to get it. I won't root for a future conference opponent to win it all, but a loss in the title game would be just fine and a career high for the man.
  15. Sure, but take if from someone living in a legalized state that Daddy Prohibition knows best. It's like Escape From New York meets Apocalypse Now out there. Toddlers walk the streets smoking joints. I saw an 85 year old man so stoned he just sat on a bench and threw bread at the birds. Businesses all shuttered because of the ganja gangs that run the block. Fucking carnage. I know a guy that just smelled it and had to be put in a home for the incurably insane. The neighbors and I know we'll be lucky to get out alive. No wait, that's not what happened. But I do get to enjoy a couple of parking tickets on this revered weekend without concern for quality or the purchase ruining my life. And I get to tell them when to have it ready for me. Being treated like an adult has its perks.
  16. I was going to make fun of the name Charlbi but then I learned this was to be her breakout role but turned into her final role as she would die just a few months after it debuted at Cannes. Now I'm in a rhombus of sadness.
  17. I'm not sure which Farrelly hag she'll end up looking like but I know it will be nightmare inducing.
  18. I don't think the portal claims to be anything. The folks that think the portal is a simple pick and win endeavor that only fails if you don't "work it" hard enough are the fools you're looking for.
  19. Remind me how Deion rebuilt that O-Line of matadors? Shedeur ended the year with the most sacks in D1 and a broken back. I see no reason to think next year will be any different.
  20. My pay grade is a little lower than Ohtani so I'm no expert on the workings of high level finance. But it would seem to me one can't just wire transfer $4.5 million without the banks verifying identity a few times during the process. So either we are to believe Ippie is the dumbest motherfucker on the planet who forged signatures and impersonated his golden goose to steal millions from his boss. Or, Ohtani is super secretive about his life because he's a degenerate lying scumbag with no qualms about throwing a brother/lover from another mother under the bus to save himself. One of the two is a piece of shit human being. Wonder what the odds are on that bet?
  21. Yep. Been scientifically proven.
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