My fiancé’s sister came over last night for the first time in a long time because she’s having issues with her boyfriend because she wants to have a poly relationship. He was of course open to the idea at first but after her getting more matches on bumble, rightfully so, and her catching feelings for this girl, he is now against it and sadly becoming extremely controlling and aggressive. (There’s more to this story but it’s not the point)
After a few hours of just hanging out, she starts crying and we find out that it’s “the girl’s” birthday. So we’re like wtf go be with her. Long story short the girl decides to drive down to meet for drinks. Of course, all the bars are booked for hours so they end up back at our place. My girl/avatar gets drunk about once a year and I guess last night was that night. It strikes midnight, I’m about to go to sleep and she says “I think we should paint!”. (We got into painting mid COVID when we were bored, it was fun but hadn’t in a while) I facepalm and say “babe, it’s a little late, maybe a movie would be better.” Oh now it’s painting time. Well, I decide since I don’t want to see the result of the paint massacre I know is coming and go to bed. Dia Lupa (don’t look her up) then starts being blasted and so does the drunk screams. A couple hours later she stumbles into bed and I ask how did the paintings go, and she says “oh we just primed them so far”....it was two hours later. After a couple hours of sleep, I start walking into the kitchen and notice little paw prints on the floor. I bend down to wipe the first one away and it’s stuck on. Wtf? I follow the foot prints all the way into the kitchen and notice about 100 cat paw prints of lovely paint on the hardwood floor....they left the wet paintings on the counter and the cats decided to have their own paint party. When she wakes up i tell her what happens and she says “oh it’s not a big deal watch” while she grabs a paper towel, wets it, and scrubs the floor. Nothing happens. “No big deal huh?”. TONE.
act 2
”hey babe, I didn’t know you started your period last night.” She says, “I didn’t.” Son of a bitch.
In the middle of the night I see white paper flying from under the bed. The cat was ripping up toilet paper. In my sleepy state in picked everything up, threw it away, and then realized I had blood on my hand. Of course, the cat only goes crazy for tampons in the trash.
As she cracks up, “Hey babe, I’m glad you and my sister got closer last night.”
I’m lucky.