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Tex Pete

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Everything posted by Tex Pete

  1. Keep that bullshit off this thread. Why the fuck do you keep doing this?!
  2. Loochie took up the mantle from that drug-addled lunatic Branding Iron 13-0. Like a rented mule.
  3. They also pipe in noise. Just FYI.
  4. They keep saying they can hire an expensive coach with a huge contract. Except they can’t. They did that, paid him for years of nothing, and they’re broke. Most of them seem to forget that.
  5. Why would they? They’re not allowed to report anything about practice or share anything that they have heard. Loochie has even told the morons that he knows a lot he can’t tell. Anyone who pays him money has no one to blame but himself for knowingly paying for nothing. Texags has become like Seinfeld: a site about nothing. Except everyone who works at Texags still recruits for their team.
  6. Weigman was not “sick.” That’s a guy playing in his first full game in a year in the heat. He was puking up his Powerade. Same thing happens every first hard workout after time off. We used to have guys lined up puking in garbage cans after the first PT of the offseason. It meant they weren’t ready. Weigman wasn’t ready. But sure, “sick.” That’s the ticket. This team can still make the playoff. Yeah, that’s it.
  7. Poooooooor aggies.
  8. I like small towns. And I think College Station is as dull a place as I have ever been.I have never had a good time there. Even after a Horns win, I leave CS regretting the trip. I guess if you like hanging around goobers, it’s Mecca.
  9. I think they play Boomer Sooner in response to playing Toby Keith. And in response to a TD. Or first down. Or a play run. Or someone farting. Or…
  10. To be fair, the Charlie Strong years were so bad that I tried to forget most of our players. And that I had season tickets, that we had a football team, that the stadium is in Austin, what we were talking about...
  11. "That's Herbie Hancock..."
  12. Mack Brown must be a strategic consultant.
  13. He'll just redshirt for a game.
  14. A little of both. Fish Camp just ensures they’re all idiots. It’s hilarious that they continually talk shit about us when we own them more than any other “rival” school in America owns their bitch. It’s also funny that they think 8-4 is a harbinger of a firing on the horizon. I mean, it is, but 8-4 is better than their historical average. It’s also why we call them Texas 8-4. Wiith their traditional shitty schedule, 8-4 is about their floor. It’s baked in. They’d be much better off if they just accepted it and did commit to becoming a baseball school. Yeah, we own them in baseball, too, but maybe there’s a chance if they spend enough money. Does Liucci?
  15. Well, at least Texags keeps all their subscribers up to date with the latest practice reports.
  16. I’ll have y’all know: I have been meeting with Steve Sarkisian 5 days a week since the spring game. He’s told me all the ins and outs of the team so I know exactly how the season will unfold. He also told me I’m not allowed to tell. Now, Venmo me your money.
  17. The greatest living Aggies, those entitled to wear the most flair, are those brave souls who fought (some died) unruly bands of Lubbock youth (who paid $7.50 each to see the home team beat the Ags…again) to gain their freedom from Jones AT&T Taco Bell Radio Shack Stadium in 2001 Every Aggie alive claims to have been up on the wall defending the sacred post-game Yell Practice that fateful afternoon in Lubbock. Binoculars were twirling, Copenhagen juice was flying, bass boat seats were used as cudgels, Aggie rings were being used as defensive weapons. The bravery displayed that afternoon won’t soon be forgotten. 5,100 Ags made the trip to the South Plains, but only 5,097 returned to College Station alive. Some brave martyrs were unable to get out of the way of that lethal goalpost moving .3 miles an hour at the direction of the marauding renegade Capitan Vincent Valdez. Gap Kid thought he was emasculating the aggy faithful, but instead the martyrdom of the 3, along with the blood shed by brave Dr. McKinney, commanding general of the Resistance, inspired them all to load up in their maroon Expeditions and Suburbans for the long, solemn trek back to Aggieland. Cries of “Never Again!” were heard as the last Ford Tempo sputtered away from the clutches of the Feedlot Fog, the Aggie faithful vowed they would never again allow one of their own like Clarence Mullins, FTA ‘52 (whoop!) to be dismembered by a creeping goalpost while righteously defending the high ground of Yell Practice from a band of heathens who were out to commit genocide on all who wore the maroon and white. The binoculars emoji is the pinnacle of Aggie online recognition. Many claim to be eligible, but only a very select few Ags can credible display such an emblem of valor.
  18. You left out the fact that these morons are paying the lying buffoon for content he is now not even pretending to provide. He’s always lied to them. Now he’s just keeping the lies to himself.
  19. Angry little dildo. Such a manly man. I bet Billy would even beat the rooster’s ass…if he had a couple of guys hold the rooster’s arms behind his back while he did it.
  20. Billy is so awesome! Elko is the most open coach they’ve ever had. Billy has a great feel for this team. He’s not allowed to tell you anything he’s supposedly learned from Elko, nor can he tell you what his feel for the team is, but trust him. He’s always lied about the team and its prospects, but he’s really telling the truth this time. This won’t be the year the roller coaster clickety clacks up the first hill, only to smash into the ground by mid-October. In his post-season write up, Billy will be sure to tell you everything he knew and when he knew it, even though he can’t share anything he knows until after everyone else reports it. He’s becoming the dishonest Jason Higdon, except Billy’s lotto numbers are 12-12-12-12-12-12. Now, shut up and send in those checks. Any criticism will result in a ban, never mind that you’re paying for no information. in his next AMA, Billy will tell you what length tube socks he wears and what his favorite cereal is. You're a god, Billy. All hail!
  21. I haven't checked. Is Haynes King on the Davey O'Brien watchlist yet? It's bound to happen since he escaped aggieland.
  22. Till mid-season. Then he'll become a selfish piece of shit and they be demanding the backup take the reins. Like clockwork.
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