Man, I can still hear the Hamm's jingle in my head from over 40 years ago. Hamms, Pfeiffer's (now THAT was cheap beer) and Grain Belt were staples amongst my MN and WI relatives.
Just had the xmas phone call w/ my old man. He asked if Mrs GOTJ and I were starting a new "tradition" since the card we sent them didn't have a GC in it that was the same denomination as the one they sent us. I told him that yep, the only family getting gifts/cash from us were kids 18 and under. I guess he finally accepted we weren't bluffing anymore and took it with relative ease. But that may be due in large part to him being surprised to receive cards this year from both my oldest sister AND her oldest daughter for the first time in over a decade. There was a massive falling out when her oldest daughter graduated from college in Greeley, CO and my dad's she-devil evil bitch of a wife caused a ridiculous scene because she misread the ceremony instructions which caused them to arrive 3 hours early from their home in Fort Collins--an oh-so-taxing 40 minute drive away-- and of course that non-issue became a big fat hairy deal, culminating in the bitch publicly humiliating the graduate at a restaurant. My sister and her husband had enough and let out a good 10-15 years worth of anger later that night and effectively severed ties, telling my dad that they weren't going to subject themselves or their daughters to the toxicity of my dad's world. The graduating niece and her younger sister (who graduated from the same school the next year; my dad & his wife weren't invited) have happily gone about their lives since with minimal contact with their grandfather and the evil bitch.
Anyway, sis has made good strides over the years with her journey and time in therapy. Our old man's pushing 80 so she's making small but meaningful acts of reconciliation by sending the occasional email and now an xmas card. Dad was stunned by this move (because he has been trained that a grudge is a grudge forever). He critiqued the card as being "not very festive" which had me biting my lip. But he was really surprised by the card he got from a name he didn't recognize with an address in New Mexico to discover it was a photo card featuring the granddaughter he hadn't seen since making an ass of himself and the entire table at her graduation, her husband and the 5 year old great granddaughter he never knew he had. Not that a great grandchild would matter much. He doesn't acknowledge the two great grandsons the younger granddaughter has with her husband.
So it was an awkward call with me as he was recounting his surprise and wondering if I'd known about these "developments." Umm, yeah...dad. People who aren't more concerned with perpetuating grievances and perceived slights for over a decade enjoy the beauty and wonder of being actively involved with family members. It's called reciprocal love. No strings attached. What a concept! After the call I imagined him sitting there in his big, beautiful place in Fort Collins. Amassed with all of the shit he and his wife have bought over the years. And how empty and hollow that place must feel and sound. He's got grandkids and great grandkids within a day's drive in NM and SD that he'll never see if he doesn't have his Ebeneezer Scrooge visited by Marley's ghost moment. What a waste.