In what has turned out to be quite the shocker, MIL has declared she is going to prepare turkey for Thanksgiving in a group text including my wife and her older brother. They both replied w/ versions of "but...you hate turkey" and "do you even know how to roast a bird", but she's undeterred. My wife asked me if I could call her mom & give her some tips, share my brine recipe w/ her, etc. since she's afraid we might be experiencing a Clark Griswold turkey carving moment. I texted the MIL and she said she found a great recipe on Food Network (which is pretty much all she watches these day)she wants to try. We've got a 50/50 chance of an edible bird. Mrs GOTJ has cranberry and pumpkin pie detail and both will be spot on. BIL texted me last night saying that his mom just finished having a new limestone patio installed in the lower yard that includes a gas line for a fire pit that he and I are to assemble on Thanksgiving day. He's opted to bring bourbon rather than scotch this year but all in all, things are shaping up nicely.
And I just got my text from HEB saying most of our curbside items are ready. Which means we're going to have to actually venture inside a store at some point this weekend. After that, I'm putting up the decorations and watching football all day. Good luck, you surly assholes. We're all counting on your safe return and humorous recounting of your families' insanity.