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Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand

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Everything posted by Al Bundy's Napoleon Hand

  1. Hey, what do want from me? A miracle? Nobody's perfect."
  2. He ruins everything
  3. This just illustrates how in touch Trump is with America. I fondly remember my sisters on Christmas day opening 12 gift wrapped dolls from Santa. What's in your stocking there? 8 more dolls???!!!! Wow! Time to go over Aunt Norma's. Goddam 17 more fucking dolls!
  4. And do we need to spoil our spawn with a buttery cut of mutton on Christmas day? Would not a stick suffice?
  5. I didn't want to do it. Trump made me do it.
  6. ...and according to Trump, he's just doing what "his lawyers" tell him to do, as alpha males are wont to do.
  7. Getting a reaction out of people is an exclusive talent shared by everyone. Babies do this without even trying. Spiking the football because people reacted is like taking a victory lap over taking a breath.
  8. Evolution has hardwired a negativity bias into our DNA. Use it, because unlike litterboxes in bathrooms, the threat from billionaires turning America into a neo-feudal society of techno scam artists is real.
  9. Couldn't he just go to the store for a pencil?
  10. It started off great, but only became greater when Trump expressed the same sentiment in his 100 days interview. Seriously though, it's getting tiresome listening to former personal responsibility life coaches try to convince themselves and others that they voted for the Trump that was the stickler for details guy who would implement measured, targeted tariffs at levels previously seen before, not this brand new bombastic, ADD bull in a china shop Trump.
  11. Can you make me fiiiiiyered???
  12. Air Force One's wings flying off right after takeoff would win that episode of America's Funniest Home Videos.
  13. I'm not crying. You're crying.
  14. Yep, cya Mom and Dad! Thanks for raising me and good luck with yalls memory and mobility issues *jetpacks out*
  15. Is Amazon caving to Trump over listing consumer price increases due to tariffs MORE of an opportunity than Uvalde school children getting blown to literal pieces? Beto of the do-nothing Democrats confronted Abbott directly to his face. It was publicized. It didn't matter. Perhaps energy spent complaining about the ineffectiveness of Dems efforts on a cult to this point could be put to better use.
  16. Carney: Hey Donald, why did the chicken cross the road? Trump: I dunno, why? Carney: *farts in face* aHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA#!_G!@!!!
  17. Also, next time some Trump official replies to a question with "Oh yeah? Well why blah blah..." I wish a reporter would reply with some sorta "Look, if you wanna play Freaky Friday come down here in the press pool, I'll come up there to the podium, and you can ask me the questions and I'll supply the answers. If you want maybe I can get you an internship, but right now my job is to ask questions and your job is to answer them."
  18. The truth is a hostile and political act to an organization headed by a convicted scam artist whose lifeblood is lies.
  19. Maybe you can store that flag up your ass.
  20. ‘I don’t kid’ https://www.politico.com/news/2020/06/23/trump-joking-slowing-coronavirus-testing-335459
  21. The dog ate my trade deal.
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