Hmbre97

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I don't understand why you guys keep engaging and arguing with Spaulding Smails.

DP

Ned and Jimbo were just trying to keep those active rioters deer and bears away from places trees to destroy. My god, just think what would happen if we didn't have those brave vigila..... err, people around to keep the local KFC from getting the windows busted out! I know that was my priority when I was a high school junior. I couldn't get to my rifle fast enough if I feared a local burger king might get looted. Won't someone think of those poor mega corporations and franchisees with insurance to cover such losses. Not on my watch!

I stopped reading at this dumb shit...

LOL, losing is actually good now guys! All jokes aside, I see what he's saying and kinda agree with the notion. But wtf, what a stupid fucking way to say it.

I gotta say, the new guy doing Trump on SNL is pretty spot on. Even got in a "big man with tears in his eyes" jab.

I agree....

anyone have a stream for the game?

My 5 yr old after punching on his brother and being an asshole Me: Son, you keep acting like this and Santa ain't bringing you nothing but coal for Christmas Him: Well, we like to grill a lot so I wouldn't mind getting coal. Me:

Wow..... where do you get your weed?

I don't give a shit but I'm also not a racist shitbag. To say that there is no one that cares is naive.

Based on the past few pages of this thread, kegels.

Not HEB related but I had to go to Summit Racing up in Arlington a few weeks ago and to my surprise, there was a Panchos Buffet close by. I hadn't eaten at Panchos in probably 20 years and it was like stepping into a time machine. The food was exactly as I remember it and brought back a lot of fun memories of going there as a kid. Those sopapillas just hit different.

10 yr old walking to laundry room holding a pair of underwear Me: whatcha got there bud? Him: my underwear... Me: having some issues? Him: I had a foop accident but just a tiny bit Me: foop? Him: I farted but then some poop came out too. I call it fooping. Me: alright, fair enough. Happens to the best of us.

Gives new meaning to blowing her back out

Any word if he threw any passes from shore while Stewart or Randle rode by on a boat?

Talking to my 10yo on the phone one night that him and his 5yo brother were with their mom. Me: What's your brother doing right now? 10yo: He's watching Puss in Boots :starts giggling: Me: What's funny about that? (even though I know him and his friends are starting to experiment with dirty jokes so I have a feeling where this is going) 10yo: I dunno, Puss in Boots. more like Puss on my face :more giggling: Me: 10yo: :more giggling: No wait, he's watching Puss on my weiner :starts laughing: Me: Hold up son, I let some stuff slide but you're not old enough to be saying stuff like that. Who's telling you these jokes? 10yo: I didn't say anything bad. I said it with a U and not an I Me: Wait, you think it's funny if it's piss instead of puss? 10yo: Yeah, I guess. My fortnite friend said it and I think that's what he meant. Me: We're gonna have to have a chat in a couple of years but for now, don't let your mom hear any of your jokes....

Can't forget this heartfelt classic