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Gil Bang

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Gil Bang

  1. Me, working with an unmarried couple. They've got loan approval, and I start showing them houses in their price range. I show them one they like very much. I offer to buy them lunch. We're having lunch, and they decide to go forward with a full-price offer. I call the listing agent (a reputable agent that I know), and tell him that I will be forwarding an offer later that day. He tells me to expect a quick, affirmative response. So, I then give my buyers my standard speech...don't make any major transactions, don't run up your credit cards, don't change jobs, etc. Don't make your financial picture look even a tiny bit different than when the loan was approved. The man starts acting strangely. We part so I can get started on writing the offer. He calls me, and speaks in a very low voice. The fucking idiot had gone to a mall jewelry store and purchased an engagement ring for the woman, and had financed it. I called his lender, and the lender is livid. Fucking idiot got approved by the skin of his teeth, and now this purchase will torpedo his chance at closing the loan.
  2. the "rollover residence replacement" rule.
  3. yeah no lender "approval" is very different from closing. My last deal, the buyer worked for a small company. We got loan approval, released our loan contingency, and moved forward to our closing date. A "funding condition" was verification of buyer's employment on the day of funding. Turns out, the HR lady was out sick that day, and nobody else in the company had the authority to verify her employment, so we got delayed a couple days. Every loan I've seen gets an approval subject to "funding conditions".
  4. Phil's a good guy. If he needs pics of your wife's tits to verify that you are who you say you are, it's OK to send them over. It's standard procedure. (Phil, don't forget to PM me the tit pics)
  5. Gil Bang

    Marty Stuart

    motherfucker looks like Steven Tyler's mic stand
  6. Gil Bang

    Marty Stuart

    WTF is with this asshole and the scarves? He's a fucking Stevie Nicks wannabe?
  7. Sporkfoot knows Ossoff will take her anus. She's not running.
  8. just to clarify...the 500 threshold is "filing jointly".
  9. try the mortgage thread on business board
  10. well, at my "advanced" age, I'm right there with you, but sometimes I reminisce about the good old days. Not saying I was without standards; not at all. No way I'm fucking one of Vic's sweathogs, even at my horniest and drunkest.
  11. I guess I don't have the class and dignity that you possess, because younger Gil would have plowed all 3 holes with no ragrets.
  12. you're obviously not familiar with this vile cunt's work
  13. interesting. I got stuck in the middle of camp Pendleton for 2 hours with no power, and the sold beer at 50% off, and gave ALL of the cold food away for free before it spoiled.
  14. they're supposed to be fixing it for real this time, but time will tell I guess. I hope they do, because GF and I love to go up to San Juan Cap for brunch and fucking off on an occasional Sunday.
  15. in another month, the train tracks will be open again and you can take Amtrak. It's a really great way to do it.
  16. yep. that's my fucking town. I'm like Frank Sobotka when I see that shit.
  17. ossoff debating sporkfoot should be fun. Ossoff is polling plus 17 vs that stupid cunt.
  18. shohei ripped the shit out of one tonight
  19. I always thought he was a cool guy, aside from the wife beating and double murdering.
  20. That makes sense. Thanks for that.
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