Rhetorically question, I know but fuck me running.
We head out kayaking. Loading up is always a fucking a beating when wife is around...."did you did this,,,,where is my......did you get my....did you remember..... Put I'm always cool with it because one you hit the water, peace and calm and zen and shit. Called the place....they are still releasing from the dam....PERFECT!
Get there...unload the fucking boats and get everything set up. Then the chick from the hatchery shows up to unload 2,300 lbs of brown trout into the river. Always fun to watch. Then start getting ready to lead and some asshole walks up and says, "You shouldn't put in now." I will spare you the back and forth between that asshole, myself and my wife. Essentially, he was saying we can't put in because it is dangerous. You can put in lower below the dam but not here. Do you work for the park service, sheriff's office, DNR, police, fire, swift water rescue, lake authority? Nope.
Wife decides she doesn't want to go because "it might not be safe". I was beyond pissed. Why if the fucking hell do wives listen to other people before their husbands. Usually it is a friend who says that Man of War of the best race horse of the 70s while watching the Preakness....but this motherfucker was just walking thru the parking lot. Never mind that the chick who WORKS ON THE FUCKING RIVER EVERY DAY didn't say a fucking thing about it. And never mind that I'M the one who took the day off work, loaded and unloaded everything up and she is going to believe some asshole who tells her 'we can't go.'.
Usually this shit is funny...but this happened Monday and I'm still beyond pissed. Then, yesterday....she says, "When are we going kayaking?" Never, with her, as far as I'm concerned. "When are you going to put the kayaks back in the basement (They are in the garage right now and she can't park....well, two of them are...the other two are STILL ON MY FUCKING PICKUP.
I should have just put my fucking boat in the water and left. Actually didn't think of that until later because I was so fucking pissed. Yesterday, I finally calmed down a tiny bit and asked her, "Why did you listen to him...some dumb bastard you have NEVER met and will never meet again. "I had a bad feeling about the river that day."
Will someone please kill me.