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TexArcher

Certifiably Surly
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    28529
  • Joined

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    20

Everything posted by TexArcher

  1. Tatis never would have juiced if the Astros hadn't invented cheating in baseball.
  2. Man, Tatis has a cannon. Way to get it done, Yordan.
  3. Cam Smith is a player.
  4. If they die, they die.
  5. This game is gonna end at noon tomorrow.
  6. Oh shit, his chin ran into a forearm. Damn.
  7. I didn't think it was that bad at full speed, but that was actually a pretty good collision. Did he break his collarbone or something?
  8. First death of the year at the ballpark.
  9. As in Mississippi-13? There were about 15 of that guy at the Beau Rivage. Trust me when I say that you haven't lived until you've bluffed a pot off of one of them and shown your rags.
  10. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
  11. 15+ minutes to salvage a point out of this...
  12. 3rd minute goal for Fulham waived off by offside. Might be our day!!
  13. And an entire rotation of starters on the IL.
  14. Yeah, Abreu kicks that thing into the corner, lol. Nice play, Walker.
  15. Agreed. Slumps are always magnified at the beginning of the season. He'll come around. And he's an asset at 1B even when he's not hitting.
  16. ¡¡¡El bloopo!!! ¡Qué bueno!
  17. People who start the wave have little dicks.
  18. Sure would be cool if that's the start of Walker doing whatever the opposite of regressing to the mean is called.
  19. How about a 2-run bomb, Yordan, sí? Fuck, I thought he'd answered!!
  20. Good. We can shove it up their redneck asses on a regular basis.
  21. Closet homosexual, small dick, knows he'll never amount to anything and is pretty sure it's brown people's fault even though he's been below average in his all-white suburban classrooms his whole life, thinks the brown Jews killed White Jesus, has almost certainly paid for an abortion (thank you, universe) even though he firmly and unironically believes that women who have abortions are sinners who will burn in Hell, etc.
  22. Holy shit, I'm going to Buenos Aires in two weeks. I hope they do search my phone and find all of my online words. I'll tell that fat chunk of shit to his face if he'll grant me an audience.
  23. Oh, the people behind the scenes -- the Mnuchins, Millers, Bannons, etc -- are plenty smart enough. And the GOP has been actively working to make America lazier, fatter, and especially dumber. I don't believe that they just lucked into this. I'd rather believe that, honestly, but I can't.
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