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TexArcher

Certifiably Surly
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    27977
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Everything posted by TexArcher

  1. So let me get this straight. Hillary storing confidential info on a private server is the biggest national security breach of all time. But texting literal battle plans to a common citizen is just like the accidental reply-to-all at your job, only you added someone not even in the military or government, but it's cool because it was an accident. And Joe Biden autosigned stuff, so it's invalid. But Trump doesn't even have to know what's going on when military force is authorized. Is that about right? Am I up-to-date on current events in The United States of How the Fuck Is This Not Satire?
  2. Mia Khalifa?
  3. It's like watching Stevie Wonder brag about the free throw he's about to shoot.
  4. If he calls her the n-word while he smacks her, they'll make him governor.
  5. This doesn't make sense. If the upgrade is Beard-esque, we're gonna win multiple national championships, not just make the tourney every year and sometimes not get bounced in the first round. I don't even think Miller and his momma believe he's on par with Beard.
  6. Sure, they have plenty of talent in all three major sports right now. And that makes the fact that they can't stop being aggy even more priceless.
  7. Y'all remember a month ago when aggy was definitely going to the Final Four and Omaha?
  8. Tech is winning and Houston definitely should win, so aggy had better be all-in rooting against Baylor so they can still make Texas Basketball Bronze Medalist t-shirts.
  9. Camping would beat aggy by 14.
  10. Michigan up 5 instead of 7 and surly's like, "I can't believe Michigan lost!"
  11. Buzz looks like a redneck actor in a Joseph A Bank commercial.
  12. Fuck yeah, come on Blue!!!
  13. Big foul trouble for aggy. Let's go, Blue, god dammit.
  14. Come on, Michigan. The last thing this country needs right now is aggy in the Sweet 16.
  15. Next up, why is the United States military so much bigger and more expensive than the team of security guards with the average Brinks truck? What have you been up to, liberal swine?!
  16. I mean, he really is basketball Charlie Strong. Great guy, sincerely, and wish him all the best, just please go now.
  17. Yeah, it's a shame when a good man falls victim to the unfortunate circumstance of his own incompetence.
  18. I hope CDC calls Rodney in for a meeting tomorrow and when Rodney gets to his assigned parking space it's just stacks of boxes from his office.
  19. I stand corrected -- this is the dumbest foul ever.
  20. Of all the commercials that should have stayed dead and buried, my god.
  21. Replay shows two fouls and the announcers are like, "That coulda been a tie-up."
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