Hank Chinaski

Yes! 2018 Chris Davis is the modern standard here! I know Abreu can do this. Davis hit 16 HR; Abreu on pace for about 3. And we have just the manager to keep running him out there every day! It’s all coming together.

Look, Jose Abreu is the worst player in MLB and it isn’t close. A -3 WAR season is almost impossible to pull off, but if anyone can do it, it’s Abreu. Harris, Manoah, and everyone else is just vying for second place here.

I got the baseball tee too; the collar has a gaping opening and the sleeves are…really short. Is that how all the home field tees are made?

That shouldn’t be much of a problem; RPs are usually available with some degree of abundance at the deadline.

This fucking season, man.

Oh I’m not saying the window is closing or that nothing can be done to keep it open; just that the more albatross contracts teams have, the less well positioned they are for sustained success. The Astros have been great at avoiding those until now. Certainly Crane has the money, it’s more about his willingness to spend it (which he seems willing to do). The bigger problem with Abreu is the opportunity cost, in that he takes up a roster spot and there are no real alternatives to him right now, and with his contract he’ll continue to get every chance to turn it around (probably at the cost of not acquiring alternatives). But there’s a decent chance he is done as a productive MLB player despite being compensated like one (and getting the playing time of one). But point taken on McCullers - not sure how the insurance thing kicks in or affects luxury tax, etc. That could be helpful.

Yup.

You can hope in one hand and shit in the other… My man, the Whitley dream is dead…

We’ll be paying a lot of money for Abreu and McCullers to produce nothing the next couple of years. That’s going to be problematic (it already is and will continue to be). And the guy who isn’t playing at all is actually a better value than the one who is. I would write something like “this is exactly how windows close and dynasties end” but I don’t want to be too negative for a Friday.

I’ll say this - I never really wanted Texas to go to the SEC, mostly because I have more respect for B1G and Pac schools and would have selfishly preferred those (as institutions and travel destinations, not as football programs; I also understand that that has nothing to do with it and acknowledge that Texas did the objectively right thing). But goddamn, I gotta say, their collective, ongoing tantrum about our arrival, their childish worldview, and their desperation brings me a lot of joy and daily entertainment and has made me more enthusiastic about the sec. I mean…did they really, truly, ever believe that there was a world in which the motherfucking University of Texas doesn’t get to join any goddamn conference it wants? Do they really see conference alignment as some sort of brotherhood or best-friends club, and not all it really is - a business arrangement? Christ, grow up. Actually, don’t - it’s better this way.

His career will be fascinating. There’s nobody to compare him to, really, which makes it difficult to quantify his place in history. For example, he’s a great hitter but not yet anything like an all-time great hitter. Same as a pitcher. But of course, he does both. It’s bananas. I think WAR gives us something, but that doesn’t really capture the essence of the value of getting all of what he does with a single roster spot. (I think his free agency will also be fascinating this coming offseason; hope he doesn’t go to the dodgers or Yankees, but he almost certainly will.)

I mean, there was apparently no guarantee you’d have them for their sophomore year…

Goddamn these dipshits. 1) there’s no answer to who we hate the most. I’ll speak for myself. I hate everybody not named Texas. I don’t give a flying shit if everyone in the new conference hates us; fuck them. Texas is poison, Texas will piss everyone off, blah blah blah? Tough shit. That’s what the money is for. 2) the ou game is the most important one to be preserved. Not because we as a monolithic entity hate them the most, because it’s historically been the best and most meaningful game. I don’t think most of us hate the institution that is the university of Oklahoma (their athletic programs, sure), but I fucking loathe everything about Baylor; that doesn’t mean I give a single fuck about ever playing them again. It actually means I’d prefer not to ever associate with that actual cesspool. 3) they talk about the last decade as though it has been some sort of ascent for their program and has made Texas jealous…what the ever living holy fuck are they talking about? They haven’t done a goddamned thing. It was a golden opportunity for them to do just that - establish themselves as something more than a decent football program, because Texas has been shitty and they had a recruiting advantage. And they’ve done fuck-all with it. They’re exactly the same as they ever were. They’ve pissed it away. Texas will eventually get its shit together, but we gave them a decade-plus to pull ahead and they haven’t. No matter how much they keep repeating it. They haven’t. And what always gets me is their collective victim complex. Christ what a bunch of titty-babies.

…so, not “just because” I guess.

@Wulaw Horn is on vacation in the Caribbean but the Breathing Orange Fire podcast is now dropping on tuesdays and the new episode is up…entertaining episode discussing advanced metrics in a way that isn’t math-heavy and is relatable to the Astros…I think these guys do a great job and I listen every week… Spotify: Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-7-stats-and-such-but-not-too-much-math/id1683955456?i=1000615019177

Rangers are legit. I’m not seeing anything that makes me think their first 2 months are smoke and mirrors. None of their offensive players are producing way over their heads, other than Heim, who has already started coming back to earth. Their lineup is good. Their rotation I think is good and probably gets deGrom back. The one thing that may catch up with them is that their pitchers don’t strike out a lot of guys. Maybe that catches up to them, maybe it doesn’t. Their bullpen also isn’t great, though it’s generally the easiest place to bolster in-season. The Astros (minus Brantley, Garcia, Urquidy, McCullers) don’t look like a much better team than the Rangers to me. I think they’re pretty even.

Holy shit. That’s gonna be hard for Abreu to “top”.

Diaz.

What are the worst FA contracts ever signed? Abreu could get into the conversation. Right now, it looks like Strasburg (7 years / $245mm) is in the driver’s seat. He’s in year 4 and has produced 0.0 fWAR. He hasn’t played at all in 2023. Rendon also got 7/$245 at the same time. This is year 4 and he has 4.0 fWAR so far. Abreu only got $60mm but is at -1 fWAR. I guess I’d still rather have his contract than Strasburg’s. But good lord, he’s making that money (for the next two years too) to produce worse than what you could reasonably expect from a AAA journeyman. I am getting to the point where I’m now perversely interested to see just how bad he can be, and just how long we’ll keep trotting him out there. Chris Davis had -2.6 fWAR in 2018…I kinda want to see if Abreu can actually be worse than that. I think he can do it; i mean shit, Davis hit 16 HR that year…

Jesus Christ Altuve was a top-5 hitter in MLB last season and has played 5 games. Even I can’t find anything to bitch about here.

@Wulaw Horn mentioned it in his latest podcast episode (which is awesome by the way) - it is really difficult to actually be at -1.0 fWAR this early in the season. But our big FA signing has been able to defy the odds and pull it off.

MLB draft, man. But hey, this team won a couple WS since that pick was made. More depressing is the fact that in 1991 the club had Bagwell, Biggio, Schilling (fuck him but he was really good), Lofton, Finley and Gonzalez (who both posted 5-win seasons with the Astros), plus Kyle and all those other pitchers that came up. Good lord we shipped off some serious talent.

I thought it was a game against Cal that we lost anyway.