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ulukinatme

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Everything posted by ulukinatme

  1. Me: Seriously, who is going to watch a video with a bunch of ants and fish moving around in a tank? Also me, 6 videos later: Nooo! The Cichlids died!
  2. Was it this chick?
  3. Wait, you're not allowed in Arby's and now you're been banned from the bank too? How did that happen? How do you live?
  4. Looks like they combined Jordan's face with Magic Johnson.
  5. Bullshit, my bank showed you cashed it! I'm taking this up with the Better Business Bureau.
  6. Chad, are you still doing essential oils? I never received my purchase.
  7. I've always wondered why they cast an Irish girl in that role, and now it all makes sense.
  8. It's good to know science has found cheaper alternatives to ED pills.
  9. It seems if you have any connection, or if the town is even mentioned in your Wiki bio, and your page has the most hits of anyone else with those connections, you take the pie. Even if it's a footnote that says Jessica Alba once farted in Memphis, Tennessee, that could qualify her to take the city over Elvis if her Wiki page had more overall hits than him. It's a little ridiculous, but they made the rules.
  10. Aside from Manson and Dahmer, William T. Sherman was born there, and Sarah Jessica Parker has been known to kill boners. Maybe Ohio is a dangerous state.
  11. Manziel generated a lot of web hits in the last 10 years, but not usually for good things.
  12. This shit actually makes my stomach turn a bit.
  13. Looks like my time has finally come. Quittin' my job, movin' to Boca Raton ATTENTION: Beneficiary. I am writing to inform you that your compensation/winning payment of US$5.5Million was approved today by the Board and Directors of United Nation Committee on Rewards and Compensation. You are therefore advised to reconfirm your details to enable the financial department release your payment to you without any delay. Thus, Reconfirm the following: 1. Your Contact Address 2. Your Telephone Number: 3. Occupation: 4. Copy of your ID: We look forward for your prompt response. Thank you. Mr Mark Dawson Director of Payment, UN Foreign Office, New Delhi
  14. Made by the same guy: http://whatichopped.com/
  15. Favorite comment: "He tried to dropkick the terminator and he wanted a Lamborghini for that? That kick wasn’t even worth a 2003 Toyota Corolla."
  16. Seems legit. You can trust word of honor hacker, he's much more trustworthy than that dishonor hacker guy. I'd pay him the money...err...bitcoin.
  17. To be fair, when was the last time it was our fight? About 80 years ago comes to mind, and that's only because Japan decided to poke the bear. Since then 'Merica has been acting as world police. Obligatory:
  18. ulukinatme

    Comedy

    I love all of Mitch's stuff, but this special below is my favorite. I just wish there was video of it. "They will not get the full experience."
  19. I don't even have to ask your mom, she gives it up willingly.
  20. ulukinatme

    Comedy

    This whole episode was pretty good. Some of the jokes in this clip go back to the interview earlier in the night with Norm. The punchline at the end of this was still killer though, it gets me every time. Norm is awesome and highly underrated.
  21. Amen. It's the only gift I ask for on Father's Day.
  22. You'd lose that bet. There's a reason I keep her around.
  23. Yeah, more or less. She makes a big breakfast on Christmas day and it's allowed then, but otherwise it's not used the other 364 days a year. All syrup has to be properly disposed of, and I clean the plate afterwards so she doesn't have to deal with it.
  24. My wife likes to hoard things in her van. She also rarely cleans it out, and with 3 kids you can imagine the messes. She gets crap gifted to her by her mother consistently, stuff she never plans on using but she rarely throws it out. This also includes craft projects and supplies. I was planning on taking my 93 year old grandmother out for dinner with myself and the kids while the wife was working last weekend, so I would be taking her van for the trip since it's tough to squeeze all 3 kids in the back seat of my car. I'm not taking my grandmother out in a dirty vehicle, and my wife's half ass cleaning job isn't going to cut it, so I start working on the van on Saturday while she's at work. Combing through just the trunk was like a archaeological dig. On the top layer there were goodie bags from the Easter weekend a week back, with Dollar Store toys and candy her sisters gave our kids. Below that layer there was a basket with some old food from earlier that same week when she took the kids on a picnic during Spring Break. Still further down there were frickin' Gingerbread house kits that she bought on sale after Christmas because they were $.26 I guess (Found out later she actually planned on putting them together with the kids a year later, but not eat them...). Needless to say there was a lot of useless junk and I'm not going to call her at work to find out if I should save any of it, so I make judgement calls and start tossing things. The Gingerbread houses went to the garbage first of course. I also found a pool noodle with duct tape on it, along with multiple bags of plastic Easter eggs covered in glitter. If anyone recalls my previous entry about a month ago, I've banned glitter from the house and I've warned her if I see it I'm tossing it. So, I pitch the foam noodle and the eggs. After about an hour and half of transporting crap from her van into the garbage and house, and then another 3 1/2 hours cleaning upholstery, vacuuming, steam cleaning dirty carpets, wiping up spills in cup holders, hitting the Armor All, etc...I finally finish. The van looks very worthy, and there are no odd smells. Fast forward to last night. I'm getting ready to go out with the bros to see Avengers. Her: "Did you see a pool noodle and some bags of plastic eggs when you were cleaning out the van?" Me: "Yeah, the pool noodle looked like garbage so I pitched it. I pitched the eggs too because it was a week after Easter and I've already warned you about the glitter." Her: "But I was going to use those to make a wreath for my mom! The bags of eggs weren't even opened yet!" Me: "Sorry?" I finish getting ready, then go to say goodbye and I'm getting the cold shoulder. Me: "Are you still upset about $2 in Dollar Store crafts?" Her: "..." Doesn't like tone. Me: "Well, I gotta go, gonna be late."
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