My kid is fucking ON one.
Last night, she got out of bed, came into our room, and thwarted multiple attempts at sexy time. Finally it seemed like she was actually out. We resumed. Mid-nut, the door flies open and we kind of collapse in a heap. She goes "DADDY WHY YOU ON MOMMY?". Tried saying "I was just giving Mommy hugs", and she kept going "why you on top her?". Finally got her to sleep and nothing was mentioned this AM. Likely more traumatic for me knowing my daughter may have seen my vinegar strokes.
Wake up this morning, and the house is way too cold (it's -9 outside right now). I frantically check the furnace, which is running but blowing cool-ish air. Nearly text my buddy who does HVAC in town (keep in mind it's like 4:30 AM) to get on their work list for the day, when I get a hair to go look at the thermostat. The heat function had been shut off. I turn the heat back on, and everything works as normal. The thermostat is located about 2' above the back of our living room couch. A place that my daughter has been hanging out and walking around a ton lately.
TLDR; 2 year old free to a good home.