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Posts posted by Al_4_ISU
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On 12/18/2018 at 12:12 PM, Mole said:
We’re heading out of town for the holidays. We don’t fly because we’ve missed too many flights. It’s a 10-12 hour drive to her family’s house. I woke up at about 6 and was told that she could leave “whenever I wanted.” It’s after 1pm and I’m still on the couch. After everything is done, I predict a 2pm departure. I might be too optimistic.
If I were you I would be imprisoned or divorced.
I realize I'm probably the other extreme, but holy fuck there is nothing, I mean NOTHING, that pisses me off more than the perpetually late.
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We were spanked up until maybe 6 or so.
Then we were either punished by having things taken away, or having more work to do on the farm. Those were always way worse punishments as you got older, but my brother and I were both terrified of getting spanked as little kids. My brother was such a pussy about it that my dad quickly learned that all he needed to do was place one hand across my brother's bare ass, and then my dad would hit the back of his own hand and my brother would still cry.
The last time my old man did anything physical was when he learned that we had been firing off a veritable arsenal while we were supposed to be clearing farmland of rocks. I was 14, and we worked on a crew of about 10 other kids, most of whom were 18-19 (we were working on my family's farm). They were the ones who brought the guns, and being as they were seniors while I was an incoming freshman, I figured it was better to stay on their good side. So I didn't say anything about it, but the neighbor heard what must have sounded like a war zone, and called my old man. When he found me and my brother, we were home doing hog chores. He picked me up by the coverall and threw me at least 5 feet through the air into a pile of hog shit.
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15 hours ago, Jerry Callo said:
Recent, near suicidal instagram post.
He's also got a history of significant drug use.
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Artie Lange (51)
Donald Trump (72)
Pete Davidson (25)
Doug Stanhope (51)
Michael Cohen (52)
Jerry Jeff Walker (76)
Todd Snider (52)
Willie Nelson (85)
Keith Richards (75)
Any Soundcloud rapper (?)
Obviously I hope I'm wrong with at least 70% of these.
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59 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:
I thought that's what Facebook was for?
Good point. I think they feel more like they've done something with the Xmas card, however.
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15 minutes ago, Huckleberry said:
I agree with this. The best chance for the Big 12 to survive with Texas and Oklahoma is a playoff system with automatic berths for P5 champions.
I'd still only put it at 50/50 for survival but it's absolutely imperative. Still doesn't address the population and TV market issues.
I think the aftermath of the last round of realignment has demonstrated that issue isn't all that important. The Pac 12 and ACC have huge population and TV markets. They make less than the Big 12, and outside of Clemson are lagging behind on the field of play. The Midwest and the South are where college football is king. The Big 12 straddles those parts of the country.
I've always believed that the make or break for the current Big 12 is whether or not Texas and OU's affiliation with it keeps them from their goals. It doesn't appear to at this point in time, but the future of the playoffs weighs heavily on that and will likely be either the lynch pin that prevents further realignment or the catalyst for it.
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4 minutes ago, Rimbo said:
I think it will, but I don't think Texas, OU, and possibly a pair of Little Brothers will be part of it.
If an 8 team playoff comes before TV negotiations, I'd bet my house that all current Big 12 schools will be in the Big 12.
Texas and OU leaving their best chance to the national title in order to schedule an extra couple games against blue bloods every other year is complete insanity.
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I think Christmas cards exist so women can justify referring to people they haven't seen in 20 years as "great friends".
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12 minutes ago, OrangEngr said:
Catholic/Baptist hybrid? Mother of god.
How much guilt? All of it.
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34 minutes ago, Lobo said:
My god, I wish they were. Almost all the cousins and most of the aunts/uncles tie one on, but for some reason when they are all together...the alcohol supply dries up rather quickly. They're kinda like baptists in the respect, like they can all tie one on in their regular lives but not around one another.
Odd.
My family is heavily Catholic (more in a heritage way, and less in a strict dogmatic way) and they've all been partiers as far back as they've been here (about 120 years). But then again, we're German (maybe you are as well), it's embedded in the blood line.
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19 minutes ago, Lobo said:
Our priest wouldn't ask. He likes us and doesn't give me any shit for not being Catholic, not even hinting remotely at a desire to convert and he knows we didn't get married in a Catholic Church, we got married outside on a Sunday not using diocese clergy and had no communion; but still got the Church to endorse the wedding as an officially sanctified and sacramental ceremony. However, the woman in the front office that collects the paperwork before you can have a baptism at the Church...holy shit---she loves her some paperwork. We have to send the name of the sponsoring Catholic. And then my wife is nervous that the church will somehow find out that one of her middle sisters has been living with a guy for 15 years while unmarried. But I got shit from the wife because I pointed out, "15 years living together, jointly titled on a home and a few other assets...yeah---they're common law married." Her mother cried about it all and sobbed over the fact that the Catholic Church doesn't recognize common law marriages. My reply was, "Welp, good thing the IRS does."
Their rules are just an absolute fucking beating of exhaustive proportions. And they fail to understand that a prayer to literally 15 different saints before a meal is only made tolerable by having some alcohol on the table during said meal. But nope, theological intolerance and Pepsi for these folks!
Catholics without booze? You sure they aren't spiking that Pepsi?
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28 minutes ago, Johnny Sack said:
It is nice being lucky and having family you like. No one is perfect. But we all genuinely like each other. I think in my family is each generation has lost someone of their vintage when young for different illnesses — my grandmother lost her young adult sister back in the 50s to a bad car wreck, my mom and her siblings lost a sister at age 20 to the same cancer Steinmatk had two weeks after Freddie died — she actually died in the same room at MD Anderson Freddie did two weeks later, and my siblings and cousins lost my brother to a aneurysm when he was 34. And everyone one of those three was very much loved and cherished by their peer generation. So there is a certain fragility we all have that has made us closer and we cut each other a lot of slack.
A lot of this in my family. On my dad's side, I had 3 cousins die before the age of 17. Two of them were brothers (who never knew each other). There were 14 total grandchildren. The two brothers I was really close to, as our dads (who are brothers) farmed together and they lived 4 miles away (that's your neighbor, in the country). 2/3rds of us grew up in the same area, and about 1/2 of us have settled down there. There is no bullshit among our generation whatsoever, we have a lot of fun when we get together, and having that shared grief and the perspective that comes with it is the biggest reason for that.
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1 hour ago, G650 said:
You people are literally going to make my face melt.
Speaking of this, I realize it's a common plague in society, but my wife is horrible with misusing literally. She knows better too, she just doesn't care.
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15 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:
Forgot a good one from a couple of years ago.
My wife is Tennessee born and bred. We were traveling through W. Texas on our way to Phoenix. She kept looking at the windmills with a puzzled look on her face. Finally, she let go...
Wife: Why are the windmills in such odd places on each farm?
Me: What do you mean?
Wife: Seems like they'd want the windmills to be in an easier spot to get the grain to and from.
Me: What do you think the windmills are for?
Wife: Grinding grain?
In her defense. She had only ever seen windmills on tv and assumed they served the same purpose as those in Northern Europe.
Living in windmill country, this made my day.
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Is Christmas Vacation as good as Vacation? No. But it's still pretty fucking funny and a million miles ahead of the other post-Vacation movies.
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3 hours ago, Seger78 said:
Oasis is worse than every band mentioned so far
Is this guy just fucking with people?
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Reading James's explanation as to why people hate him was incredible.
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Cosigning all the Mats talk in here. They aren't my favorite band, but I fuckin' love 'em and agree that Paul Westerberg is a stone cold genius.
CSB time, but my brother is neighbors with the studio director for Minneapolis/St Paul's best radio station (The Current). His neighbor had a small gathering and invited him over. Maybe 5-10 people kinda thing. There was an older guy hanging out, kinda grizzled, who my brother was BSing with (along with the other guests). When my brother left at the end of the night, his neighbor thanked him along the lines of "thanks for not being weird with Paul".
My brother had been hanging out with Paul Westerberg for the past several hours and had no fucking idea. He knows the Replacements and would know who Paul Westerberg is in an academic sense, but he's not a big enough fan to have ever figured out what the guy looks like. I almost broke something when he told me.
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1 minute ago, LTtxfan said:
Just passing along..... Don't shoot the Messenger
Inside College Football (CBS Sports) Bowl Preview Panel
Discussed UCF being added to B12.... All were in favor of it
So talking heads continue to be stupid?
Water is wet.
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Cody Jinks "Lifers" was solid, and almost made my list but I was honestly a little disappointed with it over time. I kinda thought he'd take a big step forward after "I'm Not the Devil". More of a side step, I guess.
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Kind of a down year for me, compared to last year.
Lucero "Among the Ghosts"
American Aquarium "Things Change"
Trampled By Turtles "Life is Good on the Open Road"
Courtney Barnett "Tell Me How You Really Feel"
Ruby Boots "Don't Talk About It"
Brian Fallon "Sleepwalkers"
Wheeler Walker Jr. "WWIII"
John Prine "The Tree of Forgiveness"
Brandi Carlisle "By the Way, I Forgive You"
Michigan Rattlers "Evergreen"
These are all pretty damn fine albums, but when I compare to 2017 it doesn't quite measure up.
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First Ave, many times. Been to Red Rocks and Ryman in a physical sense, but never seen a show at either.
First Ave is phenomenal, and I'm glad it made the list. You can just feel the years of rock and roll when you walk through the door, or visit their horrific bathrooms.
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The last 3 teams being the result of a beauty pageant doesn't bother me a ton, because they'll prove whether or not they belong pretty quickly. If the SEC gets all 3, ok, beat the mother fuckers.
The 5 champions at least guarantees that the majority of playoff participants have earned it on the field, through a strictly objective method.
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5 minutes ago, Butch Had Not said:
My biggest fear of any committee deciding on 8 at large picks will be the same bullshit we get now with ever changing criteria to be selected and the manipulation of polls to prop up a team that they want to be included.
I don't mind conference championship teams to be included provided the playing field is even from conference to conference. The entire narrative of a 8-5 conference champ is overblown and is more the exception than the rule. If we get a decent but not elite team like northwestern in because they upset Michigan or ohio state, so be it. Those teams don't deserve to go if they lost anyway.
Group of 5 teams wanting inclusion would have a play in game to determine group 5 champ (like Fresno vs cfu). Maybe cut out their conference championship game to keep the total games equal.
Just my 2 cents.
Yeah, 8 team playoff HAS to include the P5 conference champs.
I really don't understand the "meaningless regular season" argument. You need to achieve certain objective measurements in the regular season to be eligible to play for your conference title. If you want to be an at-large, you gotta win a bunch of games too.
I fail to see a lack of meaning in these things.
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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do
in Lulz
Posted
I don't want to piggyback onto Lobo's epic rant over in the holiday bitch thread, but the next foofoo coffee drink bullshit that my wife actually finishes will be the first damn damn one ever.
Every fucking time she gets a size too big, drinks half of the mother fucker, and it gets tossed.
It's like the shithead roomate I had in college who would order a double quarter pounder from McDonald's on every visit. Every time he'd eat half, and then toss it. Whenever I suggest he simply order a quarter pounder and eat the entire thing, he'd lose his shit.