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SquishMitten

Certifiably Surly
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About SquishMitten

Titles

  • Title
    Lick me where I fart

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  1. Goddamn chicken tax
  2. This is why nobody is giving you any grace. Such a person certainly isn’t sharing anything with you, and if they are, they can’t be trusted in the slightest. First, the simple fact that they shared it is likely treason. Second, their poor lack of judgment in trusting you to keep your mouth shut indicates they have a terrible sense of character. Both of those facts make the rest of us think you and/or your friend are full of shit.
  3. Well, that’s not exactly the lyric Should’ve known somebody would’ve beaten me to that
  4. That fucking asshole cop tried to kill the dude twice. First, at the 15 second mark, he tries to trample straight over him. The horse clearly did its best to NOT crush the guy. Same cop circles around and tries to get him again at the 30 second mark. Again, dude is probably only alive because the horse was careful not to step directly on the guy. If that cop had his way, the guy would be dead, and that horse would be getting euthanized right now.
  5. Whole milk isn’t 40%?
  6. 17 of 17 … if not being exact. Like, not Walmart, but a retail store. And surprisingly, not a boat, but many times on a jet ski. Lot of overlap too. Like, closet, bathroom, washer/dryer, friends bed … could all double up with being at a party.
  7. There a run rule in title games?
  8. Apparently some of y'all aren’t aware of this, but networks make their money off the people watching on TV. They don’t give a shit about those attending the game.
  9. So, yeah. Apparently you've never seen a gecko
  10. Well then I hate him already
  11. Best part about this response is that not a single one of us knows if you're telling the truth
  12. So … phone owner had an extra phone on him to record himself recovering his stolen phone?
  13. Yikes. Maybe ask your husband
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