WhatTheBuck

There aren’t people who believe in the literal truth of Jack and the Beanstalk and are forcing it to be taught as truth in public schools.

And then you grow up and find that they still believe it. That it wasn’t just a stora they were telling to the kids. They actually believe in the literal truth of the Adam and Eve story. So they refuse to believe in the scientific truth of evolutionary biology. And because of that they try to prevent evolution from being taught in schools, or they send their kids to private religious schools where it won’t be taught. And then try to divert tax dollars from the public schools to pay for their private religious schools.

JV said at a rally that he drinks Diet Mountain Dew and that the Democrats would probably call that racist. Don’t expect him to make sense.

The simplest answer is that it’s all a myth created by Bronze Age tribesmen who didn’t know where the sun goes at night. In the version of the story where man is created first and woman is created later to keep him company, I think it’s implied that the animals are created in both genders as you’d expect. I don’t think the original audience was expected to take any of it literally. By creating man first, in the image of God, the man is placed in a position of superiority over the woman. The role of the woman to serve the man is a common theme throughout scripture (and the church). But if you take it literally then it makes one wonder if Adam was created with nipples and, better yet, functional testes. Why would he need the ability to create sperm if there was no female counterpart yet to produce fertile eggs? And the nipples especially would seem to have been purely decorative. As for where all the animals are placed, a better question is why, after the great flood when all the animals in the world found their way to Noah’s ark, did they all find their way back to the part of the world that is their exclusive domain? Every single species of lemur traveled to Madagascar and none of them settled anywhere else along the way. All of the kangaroos went to Australia. Never mind why. How? That’s a tough trip to make for an intrepid marsupial. But of course the authors of the story had no idea how big the world is nor how many species of animal there were so they designed an ark that wouldn’t be large enough to hold them all in the first place. And it did t matter because the story wasn’t supposed to be taken literally anyway. It’s like how we have the story of the stork delivering newborn babies.

Rich. White. Trash.

Fuck her. Nobody’s holding a gun to her head.

Hemlock.

He shits his pants just like his daddy.

They’d smoke better. Stone is a huckster running a con on gullible morons. He’s lying about the virgins.

I wouldn’t touch anything promoted by Stone but these are really fucking good: These are good too:

A gay man would wear a more fashionable shirt. Hawley’s just a dork.

Shapiro needs to get out there on the campaign trail. I was assured that he would deliver PA to Harris/Walz.

Thanks for that well-sourced and totally reliable-sounding report. We’ll take it under due consideration. NEXT!

Nothin’ lil about that thing.

“My point, once again, is not that those ancient people told literal stories and we are now smart enough to take them symbolically, but that they told them symbolically and we are now dumb enough to take them literally.” - John Dominic Crossan

Did Adam have a belly button?

Yeah but before that, in the first chapter, it says: 26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. No rib, no creation of woman almost as an afterthought. They were created at the same time. (Reading it, it’s almost like they’re two different stories by two different authors. Crazy, I know.) It’s also worth noting that in the second chapter it says: 7 And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. I’m not sure why people keep forgetting about that whole “breath of life” business. Seems pretty unambiguous to me.

Still funny. Not racist.

Why can their white guy make jokes about white people when our white guy can’t make jokes about black people? That’s racist!

Nobody’s offended. It’s theater.

Oops.

About 0%.

And creepy.

Déjà vu.

Fake.