WHOA! So the band integrated 8 years before the football team? And the band had its first black drum major 24 years before we hired our first black head football coach?
ENOUGH!
Obviously, DKR was a blatant racist! His name must immediately come off the stadium!
Those national titles won under him must be eradicated! We must forfeit every game won under DKR!
In fact, since it took us until 2014 to hire our first black football coach, even after the LHB had its first and only black drum major, that means the entire football program is steeped in racism and must be dismantled completely. We need to forfeit every single victory the football team has ever won and start from scratch! No anglos allowed on the new team of course.
To make sure we have completely eradicated all vestiges of racism, we will not resume football activity for 5 years to insure that all traces of whatever residual racism remains is erased.
The band will ONLY play songs originally written and played by Black Americans or other BIPOC entities.
For any future band member, they will have to take a "Woke Appreciation Test," so that we are assured that only the most progressive, young student minds are shaped to think alike, act alike and will support the most liberal, future agendas.
For any female Anglo who passes the "Woke Appreciation Test," any Black student in the LHB shall have the right of "prima nocta." The trouble with Anglos are there are too many of them! If we can't get them out ... we'll breed them out.
Problems solved.