Buff, I can't help but believe that your soul will find its way to lead you to the path you are destined to be on.
Extreme, overwhelming anger ... rage tends to be short lived in its intensity. I believe it is incredibly productive that you can have this forum as an outlet. That you can let out those feelings of rage knowing that you will not be judged ... that this is a safe place to vent, to share, to have as a safe resource.
And yet, I also believe that that rage, that overwhelming anger, especially when justified and based on horrific acts perpetrated against you, nonetheless will weaken over time. It doesn't ever have to go completely away. But, we must surely learn to live with it and not let it become our master. And I believe it inevitable that it will weaken and fade.
That is because of the incredible love you have for your daughter. A kind love. A pure love. A love based upon strength, resolve and honest feelings. The love you felt as you hugged her again and again. Perhaps, a love that defines you. A love that defines your soul ... or that your soul allows you to feel.
I believe that your daughter grows she will see you, and understand that YOU are THE person of integrity, of honesty, of strength, of love.
The day may very well come as well, maybe far in the future, when your daughter comes to you and says, "Daddy, I know mom had so many troubles and issues. She said some unkind things about you. But, you have never said anything bad about mom to me. You never put her down or try to make me not like her. Why"
And you can look her in the eyes and say, "My beloved daughter, because our hearts are the same."