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smuggs

Certifiably Surly
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About smuggs

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  1. If there’s anything better than washing down some pickled pig lips with a cold refreshing Tropical Fantasy, I haven’t found it yet.
  2. "Patel ? (checks list)... Let's see I've got Pär, Pàlmason, Pilkvist... yeah I'm not seeing you on here, sir." - Valhalla doorman
  3. I just spent entirely too much time removing protective tapes, foams and plastic films from a new refrigerator. There were (3) different types of plastic film - a clear that came off fairly easily, a blue that left ragged bits along every edge that needed trimming with an X-acto knife, and a total shitshow pink that needed to be picked off in a thousand pieces like a giant crumbling human scab. Fuck you, refrigerator packaging dept.
  4. I remember in the mid-late 90s there was a show on PBS where they showed actual unedited surgeries. They would have hip replacements, heart transplants, amputations… whatever the hell was on the docket they would show it. Anyway on one episode an old man came into the ER who had fallen in the shower and sliced his shoulder blade area open like that. It looked like a sword wound from a medieval battle. Or a Snake River Farms brisket. Absolutely gnarly.
  5. Carlos dropping his nuts in the 1st.
  6. Awesome run for Anisimova. Sabalenka is a goddamned buzz saw. A very sultry buzz saw.
  7. This looks like it’s over. Sabs is running every damn thing down.
  8. AA on the board! Let’s fucking go here.
  9. This fucking pussy trying to ice Felix now. rub some clostebol on it and get back out there.
  10. AA needs to study the Coco method of infuriating Sabalenka - play a clean match and keep chasing down every shot. Eventually Sabalenka will implode in a screaming, sweaty rage. And then everyone wins, really.
  11. Absolutely.
  12. I bet a night with Sabalenka is like getting into a commercial laundry dryer with a mountain cat.
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