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smuggs

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by smuggs

  1. Why does this have to happen to Bruce Willis when that fat fuck Steven Seagal is still rolling around with his Bruce Lee clothes and painted-on hair? Still one of my favorite lines from any film, it's just delivered perfectly:
  2. I wasn't prepared for the Flintstones.
  3. Wordle 284 2/6 🟨⬜⬜🟨🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  4. His podcast where he yells at me while seated alone in a chair in a quiet corner of a room drives me fucking insane. There's nobody else to shout over, lower your voice you fucking steakhead.
  5. Wordle 283 3/6 ⬜⬜🟩⬜⬜ 🟩⬜🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  6. I suppose @Mitch Cumsteen should come in here and lock this thread up.
  7. Huh. I know a ton of people over at Dollar General that say he's a real cockface. Weird.
  8. Beautiful day. Sorry for the cheese, I'm a sixer deep with the Modelo.
  9. Wordle 279 4/6 🟨⬜⬜🟨🟨 ⬜🟨🟨🟨⬜ ⬜🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  10. 2002ish I hooked up with a Russian chick one night on 6th. She spoke limited english but from what I gathered she was in the country on a study abroad program. I had ridden downtown with my buddy so I said adios and she drove us back to my apartment in a shitty Mazda MX6. As we're rolling down Mopac she keeps asking, "You like patsmoke?" I'm thinking WTF is 'patsmoke', until she reaches under her seat and pulls out a bag with a scant amount of the most miserable-looking weed you've ever seen. I laughed and said hell yes I like 'patsmoke'. A few minutes later she asks, "You like Dave Matthews?" and pulls out a fucking DMB CD. Staring at this curvy, slightly Vic Mackey-ish but very cute Russian bird, I knew what had to be done. I said, "Fuck yeah I like Dave Matthews!!!" and she popped that CD in and we listened to fucking Ants Marching at high volume all the way back to my place on Pond Springs Rd. We got home, I made a beer can pipe, we smoked that little bit of crappy weed, and then went toe-to-toe for 15 rounds like Rocky vs Ivan Drago.
  11. Nah, I switched to an electric scrote shaver with modern avionics.
  12. - Beastie Boys - The Cure - AC/DC - Most everything heard on Little Steven's Underground Garage. - A lot of 80s top 40 countdowns. 82-86 is my sweet spot. And Sixteen Deluxe kicks ass.
  13. Wordle 278 3/6 ⬜⬜⬜🟨🟨 🟨🟨🟩⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  14. Wordle 277 5/6 ⬜🟨⬜⬜🟩 ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟩 🟨⬜⬜🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  15. Motherfucker this one took me 30 minutes. Wordle 276 5/6 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟨🟩⬜⬜ 🟩⬜🟩⬜🟩 🟩🟩⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  16. "Dan Rather" kills me. Whenever he mentions Vietnam atrocities, holy shit.
  17. Wordle 275 4/6 ⬜🟨⬜🟨🟨 🟨🟨⬜⬜🟨 ⬜🟨🟨🟨🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
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