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Homesickhorn

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Everything posted by Homesickhorn

  1. They can get big, but 5 ft is a giant nerodia. Keep in mind their shedded skins stretch, so your boy might have given snek the benefit of the doubt. I’ll try and find the pic I took about three years ago of the one at the LBJ boat launch who had just eaten what looked like an NFL regulation size football.
  2. Fact. Unfortunately, the majority of the teachers are aggy. There are plenty of Longhorns on the staff, but aggy still outnumbers them 2 to 1. That’s specifically at HCE, the district itself is lights out, and arguably one of the best in the state let alone the city.
  3. Definitely glad your wife is okay. But you don't really believe that ladder story, do you?
  4. I have the same NB dad shoes. Consider yourself not-lumped.
  5. I’m subbing today at Hunters Creek Elementary in the heart of Memorial. The kindergarten kids had a play today. I wasn’t surprised at the uniform d’jour of the dads who attended. It was literally one of two different things; 1) Costa trucker hat with Costa sunglasses on the bill (because it’s rude to wear sunglasses inside but cool to wear a hat). Short sleeve button up Columbia fishing shirt, Columbia fishing shorts, and either Crocs or New Balance “coaching shoes”. 2) Costa trucker hat with sunglasses on the bill (because it’s rude to wear sunglasses inside but cool to wear a hat). Short sleeve button up Columbia fishing shirt, jeans, and flat-toe boots. The aggy rings couldn’t be counted from where I was, but I’m almost positive we’re looking at an 80-90 percentile in that category as well.
  6. Not sure you read the former part of that one before quoting the latter. Twas a joke. If I was being "for real", it would've definitely been a La Quinta.
  7. "Hmm hmm hmm hehehehe............Rusty."
  8. Hey, remember when I was willing to jump on the Fitlump grenade? I meant it then, and I mean it now. All this lady needs is a few extra glasses of shitty white zin that I'll call a "Rose'", at the local Best Western, and gents, we're good.
  9. That’s where I am.
  10. Fify
  11. The comments are outstanding. -Please put all of your fucks in the little green bag. -I don’t have any -Please don’t make me go get Jimmy, he goes clip to clip.
  12. Yeah, they’re the same dude, right?
  13. Airplane dipper was Futureman.
  14. It IS a broad banded water snake. I had one as a pet for almost three years that was identical to the snake in that pic. I don’t know what the filter on the phone that took the pic was set to, but that snake is black, yellow, and orange.
  15. My dad still runs two miles a day at 78. Lately, he says it’s because he’s been trying to kill Russians for so long, but always was deployed to their “cushions”. He retired after thirty years, and the other day after one of his runs, we were on the phone. I asked him if he wanted me to call him back, and his response was laughingly) “homesick, how else am gonna possibly get a Red kill if I don’t stay in shape?” I hope I’m half the man he is.
  16. The only thing that would’ve made it better is our war veteran mom sporting a prosthetic arm.
  17. From the comments: Do they get their own Ukrainian Sergeant Major? "Conscripts...atten-TION!" "About turn!" "Take aim!" "Fire!!"
  18. They both definitely have a Tiffany Minx and Christy Canyon aura to them.
  19. Bought little homesick a little Savage .17. I’ve had more fun sighting that little rifle in out here at the barn property on the Guadalupe in Comfort. Yesterday afternoon the sky opened up and it hailed like crazy for about fifteen minutes. Last night we went down to the river to see if we could hook into something, and realized quickly that the storm had really turned the river upside down. Right away, we started seeing white heads hauling ass in the water along both sides of the river. Cottonmouths, at least five of them just in our little section of water. One of them started to veer towards our side of river, apparently attempting to get under a small wooden flotilla that had broken loose a little further up. Little homesick wasn’t having it, and said, “do you think you can hit it with my rifle dad”? Obviously answer when your son asks that question is, “fucking duh”. So then the pressure was on. I handed him the spotlight, picked up the rifle, and chambered a round. By the time I got it in the scope it had changed course again and I got a good look at its profile, and it was a little over 3ft long, easily one of the biggest I’d seen in quite a while. Maybe it was the audibly concerned “fuuuuck me” that came out of my mouth, because my son immediately noticed my concern. He was a trooper, kept the spot light on him, and when I squeezed the trigger he was still probably 15-20 yards away, and hauling ass, still at an angle towards us. After I fired, I had to contain my relief and excitement, but my son’s was not to be contained at all. He yelled, “Dad!! Did you see the pink mist!?!?!” TLDR; There’s a cottonmouth, who’s membership to our little swimming/fishing hole has been revoked. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get pics.
  20. And nobody can figure out what to get Jimmy and Milly for their wedding. We're dealing with a lot of shit.
  21. Spaceforce. Duh!
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