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Homesickhorn

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Everything posted by Homesickhorn

  1. From Homesickhorn Sr: A crusty old Army Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?" "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action" "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action." The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex? "1955, ma'am" "Well, there you are No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955!" She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955." The Sergeant Major said, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."
  2. I’m not anywhere close to one of those SEC proponents. That’s aggy’s shtick. “Fuck every SEC team but mine”, is the mentality of myself, and most like me. I’m just busting balls because y’all are one of the few teams we’ve got a recent winning bowl record against, other than Tech. It’s all I’ve really got. I actually cheer for the Pokes when they’re not playing the Rebs or the Horns.
  3. This one might be one of the better ones in the last couple of weeks.
  4. I’m going to continue to remind you about the ‘04 & ‘10 Cotton Bowls and the ‘16 Sugar Bowl, as long as you keep making mouth breather comments. And we weren’t that good when we beat y’all, any of three of those games. I guess I’d be pissed too.
  5. Unfortunately, mine didn’t make it. Damn it.
  6. No kidding. That nonchalant heat that peppered the building is more ‘holy shit’ than the thousands of rounds spent missing the car.
  7. Yeah, like we (Ole Miss) have been lights out on defense as of late. All we’ve prayed for has been a shootout for the last decade. Even aggy can’t be that stu..... Actually, never mind.
  8. Oh do us a favor. I can’t, it’s against regulation.
  9. In America it’s bling bling, but out here, it’s big wang.
  10. Damn it! I really believed your mom.
  11. So back in the early 80's, my dad and a group of friends that he owned a ranch with were at some black tie event at the Houston Livestock Show/Rodeo. My dad's friend, who I've known all my life, after probably ten neat Jamesons, had just bought a breeding bull for the ranch. Well, given that this was a black tie event, there were a ton of celebrities making the rounds, one of which was Linda Carter. When she approached their table to congratulate them on their purchase, my father's friend looked at her and said, "Wonder Woman, would you come sit on my lap and tell Santa Claus what you want for Christmas"? Linda Carter, trying to keep her sense of humor said, "I'm not sure your wife would approve". Dad's friend said, "Trust me, she's out there on the floor trying to fuck an astronaut, and if I provide her with a picture of your tits in my face, it'll hopefully lessen the blow of when I tell her that I just spent a shitload of her inheritance on a bull that's supposed to fuck cows on a ranch I'm not supposed to own". She said absolutely not, and as she walked away, he yelled, "Where's Marvin fucking Zindler? I know that sumbitch'll take a picture with me!!!" My dad initially told me the story, and given the fact that he was sitting right next to his friend at the time, I figured it was gospel. When I finally convinced his friend to tell it a few years ago, their stories matched up verbatim./csb.
  12. I love these two wins because I love the Horns, and, having played against those fucking savages in conference, I fucking despise LSU. I loved Clemens’ twitter comment saying that it’s not over yet. Fuck winning the series, sweep them. Don’t settle for two when you can have three. I hate when people think that winning two is good enough for government work, and that just because the series is locked, means that the last game, the team you’ve beaten twice can come out and beat you 18-0 in game three, but it’s “okay because we won the series”. Fuck that. Don’t take your foot off of their fucking necks. Pitchers; hit your spots. Batters; make them throw you yours. Don’t give in just because the series is already “won”, that’s too commonplace now with players, fans, etc, and it makes me sick. That said, piss on LSU tomorrow. Fucking destroy them.
  13. This^^^. Dinner would suck. Especially when the waitress answered the phone.
  14. Nah man, you need to scroll through ALL 3 of the comments, they picked up on it lickety split.
  15. 44-23 was the problem the next year. What a weird game for me, sitting with my dad, and three buddies I graduated Ole Miss with (2 being ex-football players). Hopefully that home and home will mark the end of me ever having to cheer against Texas. Austin game is vacated anyway. Yippee.
  16. Along with the Cotton Bowl Trophies in ‘04, and ‘10. Take the losses pussy.
  17. Is there a way to just gas that entire parking lot level?
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