Does anyone have a good volunteering resource?
I've had an absolute shit year. One year ago I did some stupid shit and got drunk and said some jealous petty bullshit to my life-long best friend, and now we no longer speak to each other. Totally my fault. I don't blame him for not speaking to me, but I am very sad that he won't accept my apology. The end of that friendship feels like a mini-death.
Last April I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and that was a fairly significant disruption of my lifestyle. I've had to change how I eat, exercise, and generally live my life. It's actually required me to eat and live healthier, but it's still a degenerative disease that I will have to manage for the rest of my life.
Then a month ago, after 13 years with the company, I got laid off. The company was purchased two years ago and after a constant reorg, they eliminated my position (along with another co-worker in our department). I worked in a very niche and highly-specialized industry, so there aren't a lot of jobs for which I'm readily-qualified. I'm probably looking at some sort of career change at 46, which is terrifying. Looking for a new job has been a soul crushing kick to the dick.
I'm drinking too much. I need to reconcile the reasons that I drink too much and better understand the "why". My drinking has negatively impacted my life a few times (see best-friend above) and that cannot continue to happen. I am going to read the book cited above "this naked mind" and intentionally address my relationship with alcohol. It's time.
This has all taken a heavy toll on my mental health, and subsequently my interpersonal relationships. My mother pulled me aside this weekend and said "what's going on with you? you're not well. I've never seen you this sad and angry." My wife has been distant. While all of this stuff has "happened" to me, it's also impacted her, and I need to be more empathetic of that, but it's difficult to do so when I've constantly been "woe is me"-ing for the last year.
I go to a therapist but I'm finding that it's not particularly productive. I'm not one to go into therapy and fully unload in a way that's honest, transparent, and forthright. She's not picking up on the context clues I'm giving her, the conversation isn't organic, so we just kind of go in circles. I know I need to find a new therapist, but I keep going to this one for now because I know that I need accountability of self-reflection every other week. But my insurance runs out at the end of the month and with the money well drying up here shortly, I likely won't be able to afford a good one out-of-pocket.
So anyway, with all this time I have, I think it's a good idea to do some volunteer work with people who are in need. My hope is that it will provide some perspective and allow me to focus more on the things in my life for which I should be grateful rather than obsessing on the negative things that have happened to me over the last year. So if anyone has a specific place they volunteer and recommend, please PM me. Or if you have a general resource that can provide a few options, let me know.