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Horn_Spanker

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Everything posted by Horn_Spanker

  1. Sometime in the early 70's, the family was camping at Ft. Parker. For some reason, they let me hang out on the fishing dock all night, but at some point I found it more interesting to throw bait at the geese. I started throwing closer and closer until I could grab it around the neck. Holy shit that thing started honking and the tighter I squeezed, the louder it got. Next morning, everyone in the camp knew who we were.
  2. In Academy last Friday after the ammo rush, I find a box of 9mm someone had set on a shelf in the fishing area. I take it over the cart where people are staring at the last few .22 boxes. I hold up the box and say, "anybody want some 9mm?". It was like holding up a tennis ball amongst a bunch of Labrador Retrievers.
  3. If you have an elderly parent with a home, please check over their homeowners policy. In getting involved with mine, I've found what I think is fraud. The one that stands out most, mom has DishTV, there was an endorsement covering the dish for $1,000. Something she didn't even own! Endorsement for furs, which she's never owned. Coverage for dog bites, she hasn't had a dog in over 20 years. All-Terrain vehicle which she's never owned. Sad part is that agent is someone we've knowned (and trusted) her entire life.
  4. Thanks, Any advice on unoccupied home insurance with liability? Called her RVOS agent to take off some of the crazy endorsements and they freaked when finding it's now unoccupied. Gave a new crazy quote but without liability. It might be a few months to clear out her crap and rent it (or sell it?).
  5. Can I, only child and POA, sell my mom's house? She's in a rest home and will never return to the home.
  6. Bitch, please...
  7. What a turd! I quit.
  8. How about "Both Texas Senators are a Pieces of Shit"?
  9. I thought this was the "Piece of Shit" thread?
  10. I had all the parts in my Newegg basket for a new Ryzen system last summer, I waited too long to pull the trigger. One day, it was almost double. No new PC for me!
  11. What are the odds that Minneapolis burns in the next few days?
  12. Just did shot 2. Holy fuck it was a shit show today. Four fucking hours! I hope to never go to that shit hole side of town again!
  13. Had a great uncle that was always drunk talking about how he and Red Adair did this and that back in the old days. We just thought he was drunk. At his funeral, they was a big red rose spray from Red Adair. CSB
  14. How does a blind person know they've wiped their butt sufficiently?
  15. Is this the Abbott is a piece of shit thread?
  16. Just got home from COTA, for the wife. (teacher, thank you Biden, fuck you Abbott) Packed house, but fairly efficient. Only negative was a fat girl with her mask around her neck directing traffic in the post-shot waiting area. Round trip from 78748 was 2.5 hours.
  17. Guess I'm gun shy? Hear there's a storm coming tonight so I'm filling water jugs and charging everything that charges!
  18. I own more jazz than Jesus.
  19. I need to apologize again for revealing your identity to non-Illuminati members that day at Giddy-ups. It's weighed heavily on my conscience.
  20. Speaking of shit show. I only have 7 flushes in reserve. (the shit show is in the 48 also)
  21. Without water, I've been shoveling ice into every pot we have to melt and use to flush the toilets. I'm the only one on my street doing this? How are my neighbors flushing?
  22. Just got power back in the 48 after 56 hours without. No water! Melting ice so I can flush.
  23. My schizophrenic next door neighbor north of me, has demolished his deck and is now burning it in his fireplace! I've asked him not to because of the pressure treated pine is full of arsenic. I didn't realize how porous my house is, the smoke is choking me. I've asked him three times to stop, with no results. I contacted the county (Travis), and was told burning pressure treated pine outside is a crime. Can't prove what he's burning inside his home. What is my legal recourse? What are ways to evict him?
  24. I have some mentally challenged cousins, who just traveled through Kentucky and visited the Ark. I'll let these two photos explain why I say, Jesus Fucking Christ!
  25. Zooming with a friend tonight and were discussing the GOP crazies. I brought up Greene's Jewish Space Lasers, forgetting this guy was Ronald Reagan's Star Wars laser guy. He told me a story about them testing one at some bombing range that was leased out to a rancher to free range his cow. He said one of the cows wandered into one of their test fires, and was instantly vaporized! csb
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