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GoPokes83

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Everything posted by GoPokes83

  1. GoPokes83
    Gat Damn correct!!! I’ve been to every corner and down every backroad of Oklahoma 4 times and that accent can be found nowhere but on Reba McIntyre when she’s going full corn porn on some damn show! She turns that bullshit off and on depending on where she is! Bitch makes me feel like Poppie after Elaine riles him up and he has to sit on Jerry’s couch!
  2. GoPokes83
    Little tight on the belly and loose in the crotch.
  3. GoPokes83
    Why’d she run away? Stick around and keep kicking him in the nuts every time he tries to get up.
  4. GoPokes83
    Once made up a big batch and put it in a styrofoam cooler as a punch bowl. In an hour it was seeping through the styrofoam. Still drank it.
  5. GoPokes83
    Only so much downplaying you can do with Kate French…
  6. GoPokes83
    Braggart.
  7. GoPokes83
    And I thought you people just said Welcome to Wal Mart and checked receipts from the really tan customers! Kudos my man!
  8. GoPokes83
    Painting by Bob Ross sells for 9.8 million. https://modernartifact.com/products/bob-ross-signed-on-air-original-painting-from-season-1-episode-1-of-the-joy-of-painting-1
  9. GoPokes83
    Sen. Sinema has entered the chat
  10. GoPokes83
    Think I posted here awhile back that many of my 10 year old daughter’s friends started having their periods and I knew the countdown had begun, so I stashed period panties inconspicuously in all our vehicles, and even a pair in the boat. Well she’s 11 now and guess what happened in the mall last Saturday? My smug ass was in full hero mode and I said “I’ll be right back, I’m on this!” Run out to my wife’s car lift up the little cubby cover in the back over the spare tire and no panties! Turns out my wife saw them in there and thought the kid had left them in there and had actually gotten on to her about leaving her stuff everywhere. They were in a ziplock, in a cubby we never access and had period panties written on the bag in sharpie!! Anyhoo, trip cut short. And this is another holy shit dad moment for me.
  11. GoPokes83
    Youth Pastor attempts to kill wife and 5 kids. https://fox4kc.com/news/shawnee-man-appears-in-court-accused-of-trying-to-kill-wife-and-kids/amp/
  12. GoPokes83
    I was thinking granny in the middle might have a chance (that’s why God gave us eyelids!) but then I realized where I recognized her from.
  13. GoPokes83
    Only decent gas station in our small town is a small Buc Ee’s. Stopped to get gas this morning around 7:20 and the lot was full of guys getting coffee and ice. Pumps were pretty full but not completely, I drove right up to one. About 25 seconds into fueling I realized I really had to pee! I finished pumping and actually thought about this thread and looked but there were no open spots in front of the store, so I leave my wife’s car at the pump and run in to take care of business. When I come out there was a guy in a pickup parked behind me waiting for the pump, but there were empty bays on either side of me! 4 pumps empty and this asshat’s giving me the stink eye waiting for me to move. So who’s the asshole here, me for having to leave my car and run to the restroom, or this creep for not going to another empty pump? BTW it wasn’t one of the end bays with only one pump for guys with trailers.
  14. GoPokes83
  15. GoPokes83
    So you’re just assuming Mexicans know how to make a Cuban cocktail? I dunno man, sounds a little racist.
  16. GoPokes83
    Go cut down a few of your neighbor’s trees in the middle of the night and add a mil and a half to your asking price!
  17. GoPokes83
    I’d tell you but I’d get carpal tunnel syndrome if I tried to type all that.
  18. GoPokes83
    Don’t go throwing an ice cold bucket of logic on my perfectly good rant my man!
  19. GoPokes83
    I’ll never understand humans. Kid that lived down the road from us when I was growing up. Regular happy kid, loving parents, popular…. Just a normal kid. Hadn’t heard much about him after HS, would run into him once in awhile, he was an attorney somewhere out of state and seemed to be doing well. My sister got a friend request from him a few days ago but didn’t recognize him at first. Turns out after his parents died he found out he’d been adopted at birth. He did some name search thing and found out his birth mom’s last name was Irish. He’s changed his last name to his birth mom’s name and his first to some old Irish name and wears kilts all the time. His FB page is all Ireland all the time, Irish politics, music, history, the works. This idiot had fantastic parents up until the day they died and he probably didn’t give 2 shits about Ireland up until his very late 50’s, now it’s his entire adopted identity.
  20. GoPokes83
    Don’t see many anchors with visible tattoos.
  21. GoPokes83
    Climbing over the guardrail after the accident is over isn’t going to help much.
  22. GoPokes83
  23. GoPokes83
    You said he got a PR or I would have said just bail him out. If this is his first judicial rodeo he’s 99% likely to get probation and do a few hours of free slave labor for the county. Maybe a BS drug /alcohol awareness class to boot. Nobody’s looking for jail time for a first time dumbass behavior case. Gonna cost him some change for fines and a lawyer though.
  24. GoPokes83
    That’s what measuring using the metric system will get you.
  25. GoPokes83
    Can you line dance, or are expected to learn or is this a get the girls together and go out dealio?

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