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GoPokes83

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Everything posted by GoPokes83

  1. Way over 90% of humans aren’t really physically attractive, and most craft beers are shit.
  2. Dropped my kid and her pal off at the movies. Wandered around Lowes for an hour or so killing some time. They started announcing the store was closing in 15 minutes, then 10 so I skeedaddled out of the store. I was in the parking lot on the phone at 7:58 plus and saw two families heading into the store in no hurry. Who are these people?
  3. So they’re suggesting you grill that breast with the pickle in the middle like that, or just remove it and eat the salmonella bomb while you’re cooking? I’ve actually grilled pickle brined chicken breast before, it was ok.
  4. Idiots that cruise around parking lots like they’re driving a boat! Slow extra wide turns and drifting through the lot like parking flow and lanes don’t matter.
  5. Watching Cops. They tackle guys for running and arrest them but never say what crime they’ve committed other than apparently inconveniencing the cops. Just curious if it’s against the law.
  6. But how much of a life can it really be if you don’t get to spend time tending an offset?
  7. Is it against the law for an innocent person to start running when a police car turns the corner towards you? I understand it’s probably not the smartest thing to do but is running a crime, or probable cause to have the police chase you?
  8. I tell them I took the email receipt option at the self checkout and don’t have cell reception in the store.
  9. Shave off the douchestache?
  10. I’m pretty good at telling Lampassas accents from Amarillo, but that’s about as good as I can get. Once you get away from South Asia and Australia /NZ many of the Commonwealth accents seem very similar to me. Except Canada, but fuck those guys!
  11. For some reason the cup and straw together in one hand handoff at the drive through window makes me nervous every single time…
  12. Decorated bow hunter? Isn’t that called camouflage, or are we talking a John Rambo situation? I just want whatever’s least traumatic for my kid during her time of need and grief. If she needs me in the ground with a rock with my name on it to come visit a couple of times a year until she emotionally moves on and she somehow gets whatever comfort she can from that then so be it. It’s such a threadbare phrase, but in reality I quite literally could not care less what happens to my body once I’m done with it. I’m a true believer, and know where I’ll be. Funerals are for those left behind to come to terms with the fact that their time is coming. No body farm though, fuck that.
  13. I kind of felt the fact he was British and mocking Americans every night was one of the main reasons he was resented. Same thing happened with Piers Morgan. We can make fun of us, not you.
  14. Got my truck inspected today. Busiest place to get it done is a place owned by a woman I’m guessing is in her mid 70’s. She has another slightly younger woman working for her and all they do is inspections. It cost me 7 bucks for the inspection, and I’m guessing the State gets a chunk of that. How does she keep the doors open on just a portion of a 7 dollar job, plus paying an employee? There’s only so many hours in the day, and it’s a small city.
  15. No movies? Ever? You’ve never seen A Christmas Story, The Godfather, or Step Brothers?
  16. Hard to top 1994 for “ modern” movies, Golden Age it has to be 1939.
  17. IDK… Changing my kid’s diaper on the tailgate of a pickup at the cattle auction comes to mind. Actually I’ve done tons of ultra Texas-ey stuff but they’ll never be Texan because even after living here for 3 decades I’ll never be a Texan.
  18. So, would that be manslaughter, accidental, or what?
  19. Just got back from Wal Mart, and checked my email. In the last 2 hours I’ve received 27 emails for second chance credit cards and online personal loan ads, thank God neither of which I need or have searched online for. I wonder what I could have said that my phone or Alexa picked up on that started all this?
  20. You wanna post some random thing on TikTok or Instagram good for you, some are pretty darn entertaining. But completely fuck professional TikTokers, Instagram influencers or questionable looking “models” directly in the goatass with a giant cactus! Those idiots and the people who keep them in business are definitely a wheel damaging pothole on the highway of humanity! And don’t get me started with reaction videos! Asshat, I know how to watch a damn video, I don’t need to see some self important random attention deprived douche teaching me how I should look while doing it!
  21. Group texts and phone calls as soon as any local gets pulled over.
  22. That’s the grill that Hank built out of 2 other grills when he and Peggy first got married. (I may have a problem)
  23. Kind of dad that starts talking scholly’s at 9, but it’ll never be Jr’s complete lack of athleticism that will cause that not to happen.
  24. I’ve never been a coffee drinker, but our shitty excuse for a town got a Starbucks and the kid couldn’t wait to try it out. All over the store were signs for coffee mixed with olive oil. Isn’t coffee a natural laxative as it is, what happens when you add a shot of oil to that?
  25. Might be a lot easier to get done if you just have someone push your raft into the Rio Grande with a couple of lit firecrackers and let the DPS light it on fire with one of these bad boys!
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