Steel Shank's 12 Tactics To Return A&M To Elite Championship Level
1. Develop first team All-Americans at every position – special teams included.
2. Develop uniforms that recruits like and fans can support. Can generate hundreds of millions of dollars in royalties.
3. Develop elite level cleats that are lighter, faster and provide better traction in ALL conditions. Think like the 6 Million Dollar Man! Make sure technology is proprietary so no else can match. Sue if needed!
4. Nutrition, Nutrition, Nutrition!!! A team plays on it’s stomach. Have elite level chefs from around the world! This will help attract international players from Italy and France.
5. Host a “retreat” for announcers and color commentators from every network, somewhere cool like Tahiti. “Enlighten” these people with the ways of A&M so that they can talk about us on the air! Great PR!!
6. Use AI to generate gameplans that our opponents cannot match. We’ll use technology to our advantage!!
7. Develop elite level tape for ankles and wrists! Very important to keep our All Americans healthy!!
8. Take big games seriously! Coaches need to keep the p[layers focused and not get big heads from winning so much.
9. Pay fans to attend far away road games. It’s important for the 12th Man to represent at every away game!!
10. Employ mind readers to have on the sidelines and in the booth to help our coaches figure out what the other team is thinking. This shouldn’t be discussed too much so that people don’t know what we’re doing! Lose lips sink ships!!!
11. Demand 150% from all players at all times! We need full commitment!!
12. Make winning our standard!! Demand from everyone involved a complete and total commitment to winning. Develop a proprietary formula that separates us from the others – especially tu!!!