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Prepuce of Doom

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Prepuce of Doom

  1. Out of curiosity, how long has it been since you've watched Krull? It doesn't hold up well. Your memories are better than a re-watch...
  2. And once the project is complete, be sure to leave all the cones and shit in the median and on the shoulder for an extra six months so that the police can continue writing more profitable tickets for work zone violations.
  3. Drew Carey has done a masterful job replacing Bob Barker.
  4. Heat 2: Even Greater Ass
  5. Whatever you say, Trevor O.
  6. The pearl necklace(s) makes it classy. "all your volumizing needs"
  7. If we don't get a cause of death within the next two days, the chances of ever getting one will drop significantly.
  8. "I think I discovered how to levitate. If you can lift up your friend, and he can lift you up, you just lift each other up at the same time, and.....levitation!"
  9. Just shit on 'em like you're Dave Matthews.
  10. Having to forget my old credit card number and memorize a new one every 12-18 months. Citi is excellent at cockblocking legitimate purchases but not so good at stopping fraudulent ones. Uber ride home from the airport from a flight I paid for with their credit card? Very suspicious - can't allow that without verification. But $10k of bricks and landscaping materials in New Jersey? Not suspicious at all! Assholes.
  11. Unsolicited, unrelated to any current topic of conversation, and the first anyone had heard anything about the idea, "So when can I start buying low-quality items on Temu and then selling them to other people for higher prices?"
  12. I do a ton of domestic travel but hardly any international, so living in the Central time zone, it's pretty easy math no matter where I am. I can see the benefit for international travel though.
  13. Glad I'm not the only one who feels that way. I consider GMTness an automatic dealbreaker on a watch.
  14. Mrs. Doom turns fifty in the not-too-distant future. I have been nagging the boy about figuring out what he wants to get her (with the understanding that I would pay for it), and the other day, he finally had it figured out. He wanted to get her this exact pendant: I told him there was no way in hell I was going to spend $700 on that, and proposed getting something visually similar but in the range of $50 or less. In case it needs to be said, this is not Mrs. Doom's style. At all. It would never be worn outside the house. He got really upset with me, and was incensed that I would even suggest such a thing - "But it won't be real, Dad. It will be fake." So instead of agreeing to get her something he perceived as being too cheap and/or tacky, he decided that she would like a purple t-shirt that says, "this is what the mother of the world's best basketball player looks like". This was the closest thing we could find: But I secretly went ahead and ordered this for her as well.
  15. Relatedly, the Sherwin Williams logo never fails to bewilder me. Who wants anything even remotely similar to that???
  16. Fuck it - leave that shit for the octopi and cockroaches to eventually figure out how to use.
  17. Yeah, #TeamFBomb here too. I would unfriend someone if I ever saw that kind of shit on their LinkedIn. Fucking self-righteous lying bozo.
  18. You may want to call them first just to make sure your watch isn't too big.
  19. Snowfall is criminally underrated.
  20. I'm not your Buddy Town, Guy Town.
  21. I find many "good" smells (colognes, perfumes, floral scented garbage bags) even more unpleasant than smokerstench, but I used to smoke, so I probably have some degree of natural resistance to it. But I agree with you in principle, even if I personally don't feel the same way.
  22. Don't you mean steek? Or is it tweest?
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