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Prepuce of Doom

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Prepuce of Doom

  1. They should be held under water.
  2. Does she also consume toothpaste straight from the tube?!
  3. Surprise! Your gas tank is now full of cat piss.
  4. Rather than brushing his teeth in the bathroom like a self-sufficient, capable, and competent human being, he just sauntered into the family room with a mouth full of toothpaste. Edit for clarity - the brush was never involved. This isn't a "wandering toothbrusher" situation, it's a "instead of brushing my teeth, I will just apply toothpaste to my teeth" situation. I assume that the plan (inasmuch as there was any forethought whatsoever) was to eventually swallow it, but I yelled at him soon enough that he spit it out.
  5. If the first few replies are any indication, the only ones continuing to engage are goddamn morons. ~~~~~ I think there's something to be said for using Twitter as a remote video hosting/linking platform and little else. Let that asshole foot the bill for it...
  6. It's probably marketing bullshit, but the brand Kandoo seems to have a slightly more convincing explanation of being less terrible to flush than others. I only use them while traveling. Most of my friends and family are all on board the Bidet Train (some because I previously surreptitiously installed a bidet without their permission while visiting) but I probably wouldn't use the Kandoo wipes at a private residence.
  7. Wordle 1,156 3/6 ⬛⬛⬛🟨⬛ ⬛🟩⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Daily Quordle 937 8️⃣4️⃣ 9️⃣5️⃣ m-w.com/games/quordle/ ⬜⬜🟨⬜🟨 ⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜🟨⬜ 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜🟨⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜🟨⬜ ⬜🟩⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟨⬜🟨⬜ ⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜ ⬜🟨🟨🟨🟨 ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟩 ⬜⬜🟨⬜🟩 ⬜⬜⬜🟨🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟩🟨⬜🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩⬜⬜🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
  8. Username does or does not check out, depending.
  9. Wordle 1,155 3/6 🟩⬛⬛⬛🟨 🟨⬛⬛⬛🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Daily Quordle 936 8️⃣3️⃣ 6️⃣5️⃣ m-w.com/games/quordle/ 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜🟩🟩 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟨⬜⬜⬜🟨 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜🟩⬜⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟨🟩⬜🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬜⬜⬜🟩⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟨⬜🟨⬜⬜ 🟩⬜⬜🟩⬜ ⬜🟩⬜⬜⬜ 🟩⬜🟨🟩⬜ ⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ Strong disagreement with NW. *edit - I just thought this was a bullshit variation of hummus, not that it was a dirty word.
  10. He came home from school with a "penis" drawn on his forehead. He drew it himself. If he had done a better job, he probably would have been home earlier...
  11. Wordle 1,154 4/6 ⬛🟨🟨⬛⬛ 🟨🟨⬛⬛⬛ 🟨🟩🟩⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Daily Quordle 935 4️⃣5️⃣ 8️⃣7️⃣ m-w.com/games/quordle/ ⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜ ⬜🟨🟨⬜⬜ 🟨⬜⬜🟨⬜ ⬜🟩⬜⬜⬜ 🟨🟩🟩⬜⬜ 🟩⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟨⬜⬜🟨⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜⬜⬜🟨⬜ 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜🟨🟨 ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 ⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟨⬜🟨⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜🟩⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜🟨⬜ ⬜🟨⬜⬜⬜ 🟨🟨⬜🟩⬜ ⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛
  12. George Peppard also contributed to this project.
  13. Cheap "loophole" answer that misses the point of all this? Go get the Hope Diamond, bring it back to the present, profit. My answer in the spirit of the thread? Assuming that the machine's omniscience extends to cover all things that are yet to happen, I would probably come up with a list of the most unlikely events and make requests in ascending order of likelihood. Start off with something like "when aliens openly announce their presence on Earth" and then maybe "1 year after the singularity" and maybe some other cool future shit, and if none of that "takes" then the birth of my first grandchild and if that one strikes out, I would probably go hang out with my parents for an hour one more time.
  14. Thanks! I have heard him say "skibidi toilet" before, but he also uses "skibidi" to modify lots of other things, too. And his generation is already brain rotten.
  15. Surprised that "deez" isn't on there. Doomlet regularly uses Ohio (anything stupid, weird, or fucked up because those kinds of things happen in Ohio) and skibidi (unclear meaning - seems rather generic), Ligma (I assume that Sigma is just a regional variation on Ligma Balls?), and rizz (charisma, though this has been out of favor for a while now because tryhard adults have adopted it).
  16. Wordle 1,153 3/6 ⬛🟩⬛🟨⬛ 🟨🟨⬛⬛🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Daily Quordle 934 3️⃣4️⃣ 5️⃣6️⃣ m-w.com/games/quordle/ 🟩⬜⬜🟩🟩 ⬜⬜⬜⬜🟨 ⬜⬜⬜🟨⬜ 🟨🟨⬜🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟨🟨⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜🟨🟨⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜🟨⬜ ⬜🟨🟨⬜⬜ 🟨🟨⬜🟩⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜🟨🟨⬜ ⬜⬜🟨⬜🟩 ⬜🟩🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜⬜⬜🟨⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  17. Why hasn't the neighborhood escalated the shit out of things for this guy yet? Set his fucking truck on fire or something. Sounds like there's a long list of suspects, so even if they have detectives working in shifts, it will likely never be solved...
  18. Probably a hypertension enthusiast.
  19. Not sure whether this thread is where you meant to post this, so perhaps you're playing with fire right now... How heavy were your pours?
  20. Move the tape around so that the pickleball dimensions are all fucked up.
  21. Wordle 1,152 5/6 🟩⬛🟨⬛⬛ 🟨⬛⬛⬛🟨 🟩⬛🟩🟩🟩 ⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Daily Quordle 933 4️⃣5️⃣ 6️⃣7️⃣ m-w.com/games/quordle/ ⬜⬜🟨🟨🟨 ⬜🟨🟩⬜🟩 🟨⬜⬜⬜🟨 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟨🟨🟨🟨⬜ ⬜⬜⬜🟨⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟨🟨⬜⬜⬜ ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟨⬜🟨⬜⬜ ⬜🟨🟩⬜⬜ 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ 🟨⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜🟨⬜🟨 ⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜ ⬜🟨⬜⬜🟩 ⬜🟨⬜⬜🟨 ⬜⬜🟨⬜⬜ 🟩⬜🟩⬜⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬜⬜⬜🟩🟨 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  22. Don't buy insurance from Rob Gronkowski.
  23. "Capital F!!!" That cop showed remarkable restraint.
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