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Prepuce of Doom

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Prepuce of Doom

  1. I gave up golf once I realized that I didn't care to spend the time or money necessary to get to the skill level where I wouldn't hate it, and that was way back before Bluetooth was a thing, but do courses really allow this shit?
  2. You eat at Chipotle recently?
  3. Tactical parking.
  4. Yeah, that bugs me too.
  5. TPMS light = not the classic car thread! But it's hard to say. Are all three nails lin the exact same groove of the tire, or otherwise so uniform that it suggests deliberate damage? [edit - I see that you basically said as much. Can you give a little more detail about the uniformity?] I assume that your mother isn't a complete asshole who has petty enemies (this is spurned boyfriend shit, or maybe just asshole high school boys out wantonly vandalizing, etc.), and I would hope that she would remember a road rage incident severe enough that a person would go to that extent to retaliate. Unless there's some reason to suspect deliberate sabotage, I would be reluctant to conclude that's what happened. More likely than she drove through a place that had a bunch of nails - imagine a box of nails falling off a work truck. They're all going to scatter in much the same area, not each end up on the road miles apart.
  6. There's a similar ad running in Chicago where they basically say "attention Chicago police - if you're unsatisfied with having to at least superficially obey the law and protect the Constitution, then quit your job and join ICE." It's repugnant.
  7. Even the fortune cookie people are out on the ledge.
  8. I hate the voice of the voiceover woman in the Wendy's commercials. I also hate the substance of what she says - there's a purposeful simplemindedness to this latest moronic ad campaign. I'm sure it's effective for our populace though.
  9. There are only Little Debbie products in the photo, but Ding Dongs and Ho Hos still fuck. Nutty Bars also remain worth eating once every year or two.
  10. I'm surprised this hasn't happened yet.
  11. I don't remember him as being much of a ladies' man, just a heavy drinker. The poster I'm thinking of was a pretty rambunctious "drink anything, fuck anything" sort of young buck. Or at least the character he played on the Internet was.
  12. Your guess is as good as mine, but one thing seems certain - mommy liked to drink.
  13. Probably that kid from Kansas (Jayhawk something) who posted about all kinds of various mischief and sexual exploits.
  14. https://www.cbsnews.com/chicago/news/dave-matthews-band-bus-septic-tank-tour-boat-chicago-river-bridge-anniversary/
  15. There's something disproportionately satisfying about activating the high beams with your left foot.
  16. I don't think "angry dolphin" originated here. I'm pretty sure I remember it making the rounds in one of those early 2000s email forwards with a few dozen funny-but-nonsensical ornately oddball sex acts - "two dogs in a bathtub," "Arabian goggles," "gorilla mask (with or without the witch doctor variation)," "Cleveland Steamer," etc. Funny, I was trying to remember the different ranking systems the other day, and I couldn't come up with anything as stupid and illogical as whichever one the dumb system was.
  17. Perverts need to launder money too.
  18. Isn't Tegna a monster from Stranger Things?
  19. Mrs. Doom dropped the boy off at the rec center to shoot hoops earlier this afternoon. Kids under 16 are allowed to be there unsupervised up until 5:30 or 6pm, at which point they're supposed to either leave or be chaperoned, but it's pretty loosely enforced. Nevertheless, she told him to call us if he was asked to leave. He replied that if he got hassled, he would, "just tell them I have dwarfisism [sic] and then start swearing, because older people swear a lot."
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