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Prepuce of Doom

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Prepuce of Doom

  1. Mrs. Doom dropped the boy off at the rec center to shoot hoops earlier this afternoon. Kids under 16 are allowed to be there unsupervised up until 5:30 or 6pm, at which point they're supposed to either leave or be chaperoned, but it's pretty loosely enforced. Nevertheless, she told him to call us if he was asked to leave. He replied that if he got hassled, he would, "just tell them I have dwarfisism [sic] and then start swearing, because older people swear a lot."
  2. Maybe you shouldn't have begun following this thread today?
  3. He's never left any job on good terms - of course he was a piece of shit about it once again.
  4. I hope he shits his pants every day for the rest of his life.
  5. The "Sunday Scaries" Instacart commercial is pretty amusing.
  6. That meme never fails to make me laugh.
  7. Prepuce of Doom

    Goose

    It was a fun time. Really intense, upbeat, energetic, generally positive vibe - those dudes really play hard. I'm not quite sure what I expected, but somewhat of a strange crowd. Largest percentage was what I would describe as the college educated and white-collar subset of Dead fans, but also a surprising representation of dudes in flatbrim caps who would look right at home driving a trophy truck with a motocross bike in the back around Orange County or San Diego, frat boys of all ages, older suburban couples who look like the Coldplay cheaters, college kids, and a fair number of high school kids. Fewer wooks and spunions than I expected.
  8. Or the Midwest, where we have basements that, not coincidentally, are also underground and often damp.
  9. Prepuce of Doom

    Goose

    Had a much better time at Goose tonight than I would have if I stayed home to watch the Illini game.
  10. We have raccoons, skunks, opossum, foxes, and deer (though they rarely venture too far out of the nearby forest). Some of the things I've curated over the years get eaten, while others do not. I know that certain types squash-ish things have a very bitter taste and are low-grade poisonous, so I suspect that the survivors tend to get nibbled at and then all nibblers quickly learn that eating them was a mistake. I think I posted about this upthread, but we had a "volunteer" (i.e., unplanted and unplanned) squash of some kind in our yard one summer. I contemplated eating it, but learned beforehand that in humans, common symptoms from eating volunteer squash include total hair loss as well as months-long bouts of diarrhea. I did not eat it.
  11. Haven't been religiously monitoring last year's crop, but the dog took a greater interest in the area during her morning Murder Patrol so I figured I'd check in. Terrible picture (this is the best I could get...) but things are looking fairly creepy. Whether they end up looking scary or just decrepit remains to be seen, but either way, we'll find out soon.
  12. Mom probably didn't like her watch because it never seemed to keep accurate time.
  13. Well look at the bright side - there's a non-zero chance that this is the last football season that anyone will ever give a shit about!
  14. Rickey Henderson. Wish I still had it.
  15. My wife is definitely not a spider, but I don't think that's accurate, Sam.
  16. Mrs. Doom and I have diametrically opposed opinions on spiders in the house. I view them as welcome tenants who earn their keep (and the right to peacefully exist) by eating all the other bugs, especially the many insect intruders in our basement (house centipedes fucking suck...) My attitude is that if the spiders are getting plump, then business is good, and proof-positive of the benefit they bring to the household. Mrs. Doom doesn't agree with any of that - zero tolerance for any bugs, though she's squeamish enough that she doesn't even kill them - they just become my problem to deal with. So whenever I'm alone and I encounter a spider friend boldly chilling out in plain view, I remind them that if they want to stick around, they need to do a better job at remaining concealed. But they hardly ever listen, the dumb little assholes. I gave multiple reminders throughout the day yesterday, but Mrs. Doom saw two last night, and so I had to escort them both outside because they just wouldn't follow the terms of our agreement. It's like how you go from benevolent and concerned when you first notice another driver without their headlights on, so you flash your brights a few times, and then when they don't get the hint, you instead become irate with them for being such goddamn morons. Maybe those cars are being driven by spiders?
  17. Our household uses the term "bears in the cave" to describe a visible booger, but I like her variation that incorporates booger movement.
  18. Maybe, or maybe it would result in the same noise as when you let air out of a balloon while laterally stretching the opening. Give it a shot and report back. You know, for science.
  19. You've overlooked the very real possibility of a mental handicap.
  20. Some kind of AI uselessness.
  21. He and his buddies spent the afternoon crashing various block parties around the general neighborhood today (none on blocks any of them live on), and Mrs. Doom is mortified by the reasonably likely - but not certain - prospect that they were just marauding around and acting like savages. He insists that they were well-behaved. He and one partner in crime each won a $5 Starbucks gift card for taking 3rd place in a "throw a water balloon back and forth and take one step backwards after each throw" contest.
  22. Nice - I've have my eye on a GSAR for a while now. Prices have doubled in the last month or so (thanks a lot, Obama.) but I would be curious to hear what you think about it after you get used to it. I've got fairly small wrists so I would likely go for the 41mm, or maybe even an outside shot at the 36mm but that seems too small. I would like to try them on before buying, but it doesn't look like there's much in the way of authorized dealers in the Chicago area.
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