I learned new lesson last night about being a dad. Never fucking ever leave your beverage unattended. While bathing the two year old last night I finished off my first and only Guinness to the four year old telling me "don't drink that." He had put some paper in my glass that he'd "made science" with, meaning it contained any lotions, soaps, toothpaste, cleaning supplies, wepons of mass destruction, etc. that he could find. Not acting quick enough, I downed the Guiness and "science" without batting an eye. Though there was a strong chemical taste at the bottom of the glass. I dismissed it after lecturing him on no more science.
That was until the cramps started two hours later. The rest of the night I found myself on either the crapper or in the fetal position. The good news is that I am literally over six pounds lighter than I was last night and that the boy now knows to never ever put anything in someone's food or drink that doesn't belong. Concidered the mobile iv nurse but I'm finally able to keep fluids down again and am on the road to recovery. Thus ends the story of how my four year old slipped me a Mickey on St. Patrick's Day.