A little backstory - I was born in Jan 1969 (yeah, I'm an old fuck). Both my parents were 20 at the time. My dad got drafted and went to 'Nam in mid to late in 1970, came back a year later, we moved to Ft Lee, VA so he could finish out his enlistment, we moved back to Bowie county and lived (what I thought was) a normal American middle class life. Growing up, I always joked with my dad that he may not be my birth dad because we were so different. We didn't look alike at all, nor did we share any of the same interests. He liked to hunt, fish and tinker with cars. I was the athlete of the family, playing either football, baseball or basketball ALL the time...it pretty much consumed my life (still does). I'd occasionally go hunting or fishing with him, but all I thought about was sports while doing it. And he'd coach my sports teams, but didn't really know how to coach us other than the "rock and fire" and "keep you eye on the ball" junk. But we got along and all was good. But in the back of my mind I always wondered just a little bit.
Fast-forward to 2009. I'm helping my son do a simple family tree for a course in high school. While researching things, I come across and old marriage record showing someone with my dad's name married someone NOT my mom's name in 1968. I got to looking closer and the marriage occurred in Bowie county. My dad's name is not common at all so I call my mom and ask her about it. Come to find out, he and my mom broke up a few months after high school and he got pissed and married someone a couple of months later to make her mad. It was annulled about 10 weeks later, but still. Why keep that from me all these years???
Fast-forward again to a few years later in October 2015. I log into my Facebook account and start scrolling hoping to find posts from my aggy friends in which I can troll. One of the first posts I scroll across is from my mom. I'd forgotten it was their wedding anniversary. She was posting about celebrating their 44th wedding anniversary. What the fuck...I'm 46! So that's another phone call I had to make. Apparently they were together, but didn't get married until I was 2. That's the story anyway. True or not, the fact remains I was born a bastard.
I told you all of that so I could tell you this - my wife, daughter and my son's fiancé were in Billings earlier this week wedding dress shopping leaving me alone. There's only so much porn a 51 yr old man can browse, so I randomly logged into my Ancestory.com account to kill an hour (my typical first refractory period). This is what I immediately saw:
My first reaction was 'no fucking way'. Then I remembered.....oh yeah, the story of my life has been one big lie after another. A quick Facebook search turned up a hit in, you guessed it, Bowie county. Further investigation showed that she's a year younger than me. We also shared 5 FB friends, and one happened to be the sister of one of my good HS friends who I still occasionally keep in touch with. So I called my friend, explained my predicament and asked her if she happened to know this possible newfound sibling of mine. After laughing hysterically for a couple of minutes she said she does know who she is, but says she'd ask her sister to try and get more info. An hour later, I get a text that says she was in fact adopted but that her sister didn't know all the details. She has another friend that is very good friends with her and she's going to call her tomorrow and ask around.
My wife suggested I just send her a message through the website and see if she knows the story. But I noticed on FB that her mom just died two weeks ago from Covid after a two month battle. I dont want to throw more on her plate just yet. Obviously she knows she's adopted if my friend's sister knows, but she may not know she has a sibling who is a bastard, and she may not want to know.
Everything I've read the past couple of days regarding the length (cM) and number of segments DNA indicates we are full siblings (typically range from 2200-3400), but there's still a possibility we are half-siblings. Of course, I have a lot of unanswered questions. Is she a full sibling? A half sibling? Is it even possible she's not a sibling at all? If she is, did my parents put her up for adoption after I was born? Could we be full siblings and who I've thought was my dad isn't my birth dad at all? Because she was born before my parents were married. Did my dad cheat on my mom and no one but him and the woman he cheated with know about it? I've got a lot of shit to work through.