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BrickHorn

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Everything posted by BrickHorn

  1. Have you even read the Bible? God smote the fuck out of children all the time. This is as Christian as it gets.
  2. I posted about this almost 10 years ago. Trump lies constantly. Almost every word out of his mouth is false. Hillary got caught slightly twisting the truth a couple of times and was branded a liar. Meanwhile, the MAGA ding-dongs swallowed a fountain of bullshit directly from Trump’s mouth, nodded along and just said “Aw, that’s just Trump being Trump.” My theory is it’s about expectations and predictability. If someone always lies, then you can trust what they say to be a lie. Your brain doesn’t have to get off its lazy ass and evaluate the merits of their most recent claim. It’s a lie like everything else this guy says. You mistake consistency for credibility. And if you like the lie, you can decide to believe it. Because your brain is just on autopilot anyway—your critical thinking never had to kick in to evaluate the credibility of this claim (because it knew from past experience that it was almost certainly false), so no need to fire it up at the “Should I agree?” part of the process. On the other hand, with someone who only lies occasionally and strategically, you’re always guessing. You know that any claim could be true or could be a lie, but there’s not an easy pattern to apply as a mental shortcut. So every time you listen to the occasional liar, your brain is firing on all cylinders in critical thinking mode. It’s exhausting and it leaves you with the feeling that you always have to be skeptical of anything that person says. They can’t be trusted. Not only because they might occasionally lie, but also because they typically tell the truth. And you have to work hard to sort the rare lies from the status quo of truth.
  3. Mattress Mack spoke to my fifth grade class to warn us against the dangers of drugs. Which surely contributed to my abstinence from drugs until late in life, when I finally figured out how awesome drugs are and was like “I can’t believe that dollars-tossing clown in a bed suit talked me out of doing this awesome shit for so long.” So yeah, fuck that guy. He contributed to all the wasted years of sobriety, productivity, and clear-headedness I endured in my youth.
  4. There’s dumb. There’s really dumb. And then, well below even that low bar, there’s baseball player dumb.
  5. He’s built like a candy apple.
  6. Looks Shopped.
  7. There’s a button for that.
  8. If we lived in an honest world, Texas A&M would instead be named “Stupid Motherfucker Academy.”
  9. That’s the dream.
  10. At first, I read that tweet about closing the MILF Gap and I thought Ann Taylor was going out of business.
  11. Wait. Trump wants “Energy Cuts?”
  12. Honestly, that’s the best way to ensure a quick and easy pardon.
  13. All the donuts in the pastry case used to be kolaches.
  14. Right. Dude should have a bunch of money stashed away. It’s weird that a Trump supporter would not make the responsible, forward-thinking choice.
  15. MAGA is just hedonism for assholes. Trump gave the Facebook uncles, childhood friends who grew up to be incels, Aggie neighbors, and other miserable, resentful shitheads in your lives permission to be their worst selves, openly and proudly.
  16. Sounds like your daughter was experiencing sleep paralysis. It sounds spooky but it’s a very common psychological phenomenon.
  17. Not sure if this was mentioned as part of our score sharing last week, but that Are You Living in a Bubble? quiz was written by Charles Murray, infamous author of The Bell Curve.
  18. Wasn’t Akina always a man-to-man purist?
  19. Same way they reconcile all the other stupid bullshit they say / believe.
  20. Ha. Similar experience here. I was in maybe 8th or 9th grade and visiting my dad’s family one summer. They lived in a tiny farm town of a few hundred people. I usually hated visiting because that meant spending most of Sunday in a Baptist church with no AC. But there were hot girls in Sunday school so I was looking forward to it this time around. We did a Bible reading where the kids in class took turns stumbling through part of a passage, then passing it to the next kid. It got to me and I read the next few lines (it was probably something about smiting some poor bastards), making sure not to fuck up any of the inane textual bullshit so as not to look dumb in front of the ladies. When I finished, the teacher looked at me and asked “Are you a [surname]?” I answered “Yes. Why?” “Because you sure read like one.” Apparently, my family is famous for being the town literates.
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