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BrickHorn

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Everything posted by BrickHorn

  1. Mattress Mack spoke to my fifth grade class to warn us against the dangers of drugs. Which surely contributed to my abstinence from drugs until late in life, when I finally figured out how awesome drugs are and was like “I can’t believe that dollars-tossing clown in a bed suit talked me out of doing this awesome shit for so long.” So yeah, fuck that guy. He contributed to all the wasted years of sobriety, productivity, and clear-headedness I endured in my youth.
  2. There’s dumb. There’s really dumb. And then, well below even that low bar, there’s baseball player dumb.
  3. He’s built like a candy apple.
  4. Looks Shopped.
  5. There’s a button for that.
  6. If we lived in an honest world, Texas A&M would instead be named “Stupid Motherfucker Academy.”
  7. That’s the dream.
  8. At first, I read that tweet about closing the MILF Gap and I thought Ann Taylor was going out of business.
  9. Wait. Trump wants “Energy Cuts?”
  10. Honestly, that’s the best way to ensure a quick and easy pardon.
  11. All the donuts in the pastry case used to be kolaches.
  12. Right. Dude should have a bunch of money stashed away. It’s weird that a Trump supporter would not make the responsible, forward-thinking choice.
  13. MAGA is just hedonism for assholes. Trump gave the Facebook uncles, childhood friends who grew up to be incels, Aggie neighbors, and other miserable, resentful shitheads in your lives permission to be their worst selves, openly and proudly.
  14. Sounds like your daughter was experiencing sleep paralysis. It sounds spooky but it’s a very common psychological phenomenon.
  15. Not sure if this was mentioned as part of our score sharing last week, but that Are You Living in a Bubble? quiz was written by Charles Murray, infamous author of The Bell Curve.
  16. Wasn’t Akina always a man-to-man purist?
  17. Same way they reconcile all the other stupid bullshit they say / believe.
  18. Ha. Similar experience here. I was in maybe 8th or 9th grade and visiting my dad’s family one summer. They lived in a tiny farm town of a few hundred people. I usually hated visiting because that meant spending most of Sunday in a Baptist church with no AC. But there were hot girls in Sunday school so I was looking forward to it this time around. We did a Bible reading where the kids in class took turns stumbling through part of a passage, then passing it to the next kid. It got to me and I read the next few lines (it was probably something about smiting some poor bastards), making sure not to fuck up any of the inane textual bullshit so as not to look dumb in front of the ladies. When I finished, the teacher looked at me and asked “Are you a [surname]?” I answered “Yes. Why?” “Because you sure read like one.” Apparently, my family is famous for being the town literates.
  19. Yeah the questions were strangely arbitrary and specific. The fishing question was limited to the last 5 years, so I got no points on that one despite the fact that I grew up going fishing and used to hunt quite a lot. But several questions (Ever lived around a bunch of dipshits? Ever have a moron for a friend?) were not time-limited, so I got points for spending my toddler years in the rust belt and hanging around with a bunch of neighborhood hoodlums 30+ years ago. Also weird that it asked no questions about non-nuclear family. My dad was in management by the time I could understand what he did for a living. But I have a huge extended family and literally none of my grandparents or aunts / uncles had managerial or professional careers. And probably 50%+ of my cousins are blue collar working class. But frankly the idea of a bubble is stupid and reeks of elite guilt. “You may think the views of rightwing rubes are ignorant and mean-spirited, but maybe you’d change your perspective if you hung out with losers and talked about Jimmie Johnson at the bait shop.” No, not really. I’ve spent plenty of time around angry right-wing rubes, including in church, at IHOP, and at the pond digging night crawlers out of a styrofoam cup. I’ve heard their opinions. I’ve even heard them try to justify those opinions. And it only confirmed my view that they’re ignorant and mean-spirited. The problem isn’t that I haven’t seen their world. Fuck, I spent years in that world and came out the other side. The problem is that they’ve never seen anything but their own little world. It’s the rubes that live in a bubble, not those of us who have seen life in both rural dumbfuckville and more urbane corners of civilization and explicitly chose to stay in the latter.
  20. Sark has been working on this pile of flaming dog shit for THREE YEARS?!?
Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business & Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Advertise... Tailgate Donations

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