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Ben Tobin

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Ben Tobin

  1. Sounds like somebody was about to get shipped off to military school with that Finklestein shit kid
  2. That sucks. RIP
  3. I was visiting my brother recently and my 10 yo nephew played Battle of NOLA for me. I sang every word and he looked at me like I'd just invented fire.
  4. Just some dude coming out of his colonoscopy
  5. Remember when I dropped my keys and you thought the phone was ringing?
  6. You kiddin? I’d fuck a snake if somebody would hold it’s head. Hell, I’d fuck a woodpile looking for a snake. And I ain’t even from Alabama
  7. So, like a gay Gong Show?
  8. I’d probably try crack once. Wouldn’t want to know how or where to get it, but I’d hit it. Like out at the lease or something. And June wrote Ring, not Johnny
  9. So, stacked floor to ceiling with your winter stash, eh?
  10. Man, I love Last Picture Show so much it almost hurts to watch
  11. I'm curious to see what they do with the other spinoff, Yellowstain. Supposebly, it's a sort of 'origin story' for Cayce that seeks to explain, through flashbacks, why he NEVER WASHES HIS GODDAMN FACE.
  12. ‘You big dummy’ is in regular rotation
  13. Think about a really pissed off 40 lb dog. Now imagine that dog climbing up and riding you while he chews through your neck
  14. Shit, I imagine any monkey over 75 lbs would rip your face off if he had a mind to
  15. Sir, it is the private’s duty to inform the Senior Drill Instructor that Walker Jr has a full tank and is gay and loaded, sir!
  16. And Texas is Tennessee's big, fat baby brother
  17. That’s about as Alabama as a face can get
  18. Yeeeaah, you're gonna need him to go ahead and come in on that Saturday. Ok? Greeeaaat.
  19. Unpossible
  20. Put a tree in your butt, Put a bumblebee in your butt
  21. Wonder which trump spawn wants his seat. They're moving this chicken hawk out.
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