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Sandman

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  1. I used to work at a county jail. I saw a story about the jail on the local news website and during the video, they had footage of an officer opening a cell so the camera crew could look inside. I recognized the officer immediately, I worked with this guy more than 25 years ago! I left because the pay was bad and the working conditions were even worse. How the fuck anyone stays that long doing that job is beyond my comprehension.
  2. Talking on the phone at work: Person: Yeah, can you send me those documents? Me: Sure. *clicks send* I have just sent them Person (1.3 seconds later): I don't have them, why is it taking so long??? Fucking hell.
  3. People who tack on their own bullshit to someone else's social media post. "Sorry to hear your mom has passed. My own mother died in 1992, I know how bad it is! Hugs!", or "I hope you've having fun in [city]! We went there in 2005 and loved it!". Post your own shit, or better yet, STFU.
  4. Sandman

    Getting old sucks

    Broke my temporary crown last night. Back to the dentist I go. Maybe I'll just have to eat nothing but smoothies for the next two weeks, fuck.
  5. Sandman

    Getting old sucks

    My fucking crown shattered as I was eating last night. And it wasn't eating anything hard or crunchy, it was fucking cheetos puffs. That God it doesn't hurt but I can't really talk or chew, because my tongue gets scraped up. Getting into the dentist this afternoon, at least.
  6. He's able to hold the trophy just fine, that's what matters.
  7. After original March injury, OKC's Jalen Williams having surgery - ESPN
  8. I like how it's parked in the shade of a tree, where all mechanics would prefer it.
  9. My wife just used the word "sell" instead of "sale" in a text and I'm contemplating divorce.
  10. Jackson Mahomes agrees with this sentiment.
  11. I literally don't give a shit. People can say whatever they want, my team won it all.
  12. As a Thunder fan, I now understand what Astros fans went through after they won the world series. Fuck the haters, we got a fucking championship. Fuck Seattle, too.
  13. He was at PSU for 20+ years before they joined the B10. I doubt he waited to start diddlin' kids until they joined the league.
  14. The beeper on the microwave should immediately stop when the door is opened. The one at the office just beeps and beeps, even though you've opened the door already.
  15. I hate when a team fails to convert on 3rd down and the guy says, "They're forced to punt". No they aren't forced to punt, they can go for it every fucking time.
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