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Sandman

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Everything posted by Sandman

  1. I assume rape is illegal on campus, too. Maybe they'll cancel each other out?
  2. However much a nice 9mm pistol and handgun training costs. Say $2000 or so?
  3. That's the parent's fault. If my kids had turned down a full ride, they would've paid their own way. The fucking nerve.
  4. When shit that you can't actually operate just quits working. Like wi-fi, or home internet in general. I can't just turn it off like a faucet, yet sometimes it just goes out. And by the time you call the ISP and get some slapdick on the phone, it miraculously comes back on. Fucking ridiculous.
  5. 15 or so years ago, I read that women's golf was the best sport for getting a scholarship in college. The premise was that they had so many schollys to give away and nowhere near enough golfers. So there was going to be a full ride available somewhere. I tried to get my 2 girls into golf and they declined. Hope you have more luck.
  6. I got a call from my credit union, their number was on my phone screen, so I knew it was them. The guy said my card was used in another state. Long story short, it was bullshit. But it was hard to tell right off the bat because they had spoofed the phone number. I've had this account since 1989 or so and I know that phone number by heart, so I felt safe enough to talk to the guy. And his obvious indian/pakisanti accent didn't faze me too much because I know many companies use offshore CSAs. I wound up freezing and cancelling our debit cards and getting new ones. Hope that guy gets killed in a goat-fucking accident or worse.
  7. Sandman

    Getting old sucks

    Scrolling on twitter and saw one of those "released on this day" posts and it was the movie "Porky's". Came out 43 years ago this week, I was beside myself. Texted my friends, immediate replies of OMG and WTF. Time is a motherfucker.
  8. When my wife has to park, it's like she's trapped in a maze and she'll die if she chooses wrong. "I'm going to park here-wait, that car is too close. I'll go here-no, there's a closer spot. Wait, maybe I'll pull through-no that truck is too big". Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuk.
  9. Twist-ties. We used to save the ones that came in boxes of sandwich bags, but now they're all ziplock baggies. So I keep ones from loaves of bread. Slightly off center of this question, but my late brother-in-law never had a job interview. He joined the Marine Corps after high school, served 22 years and retired. While laying around the house a few months after retiring, a buddy he served with called and said he was working at our local AFB and would my BIL like a job up there with him. He said yes and worked there until he unexpectedly passed away.
  10. I'm a long time IU fan, and I'm pretty meh on the hire. Better than the last 2 coaches, for sure. But I feel like NIL has really evened the playing field. Look at Kentucky and Louisville last year, neither could get a big name coach and both are pretty far ahead of IU these days. At least IU was able to flip a sitting Power 4/5/whatever coach. Whether or not he's worth the money remains to be seen.
  11. I remember getting my driver's license in the late 80s, they asked if we wanted to use our SSN as our DL number too. Me and all my friends all said yes.
  12. In the office this morning and had to take a shit. I go to the bathroom and it's empty, I go to the handicapped stall, as the regular one it ridiculously tiny. A guy comes in and crashed into the stall door, didn't bother to do the gentle push to see if it was locked. Just barreled into it like scooby doo. He had to take the walk of shame into the tiny stall.
  13. I never did either but the last two times we've gone to London, my wife buys so much shit for friends and family (and herself) that I wind up buying a cheap suitcase and putting all the extra shit in there and checking the bag. Or I'll put all the dirty clothes in the new bag and check that one. We're going back in August and I'll be damned if I'm buying another fucking suitcase. I've got a room full of the fucking things.
  14. I had never seen this, so I watched it last weekend. It was great and so was GH. Just hilarious.
  15. Exactly. Why pay extra for the butthole insert when you can just bang it on the edge of a table or something??
  16. I stare at my phone or computer screen as she drones on, I say nothing. After she's done, she'll say "Thanks for letting me vent" and usually I get laid that night. It's tough work but necessary for my well-being.
  17. I can remember going to the strip club with my friends, 30 years ago. I never drank, so I'd just order a coke. "Sure thing, Hon", then I get a slightly colder than room temp can. "That'll be $3.50". Meanwhile, the bros are getting pitchers of bud light for like $7.
  18. Circling back to USPS bullshit: I bought something on ebay a couple of weeks ago. It was shipped from CT and was on it's way to my house in the OKC burbs. After a couple of days, the tracking showed that the box was in Ft Worth. Great, I thought, it'll be here in 2 days, tops. WRONG. It went from FTW to OKC, then back to FTW for a couple of days. Then back to OKC and then to my town! Yay, I said, delivery tomorrow for sure! NOPE. It left my town and went to some other podunk town, 50+ miles away. WTF?? Then back to OKC for a day or so, then to my town, then delivered. I called the PO the day before it was delivered to complain, had to wait on hold for 35 mins for them to pick up. She said "I guess it's making a loop" and while she was pleasant, she offered no help or insight into solving my issue. And the box showed up looking like it had been kicked down the road the whole way from Connecticut, instead of shipped on a truck.
  19. My friend found this out the hard way. We're in Oklahoma and he bought a Tesla. They told him it would be ready on such and such date. He assumed he would pick it up at the local showroom. Whoops, direct sales aren't allowed here, so he had to drive from OKC to Kansas City to get it.
  20. I have seen this but had no idea who made it. I thought the ending sucked, but overall it was ok I guess.
  21. I was in Jr High and went with my dad when he took our dog to the vet. She got her shots and had a stool sample taken, nothing out of the ordinary. But we went back in the waiting room and my little beagle took a massive shit on the floor, I guess the sample collection got the mail moving, so to speak. Then, as I'm sitting there in horror, the super hot vet tech came over and cleaned it up. And she wasn't fazed at all, she was super friendly. I wanted to dig a hole to China and jump right inside.
  22. Wife: What should I text to Daughter about [serious situation]? Me: Tell her exactly this [Profound Fatherly Wisdom] Wife: Ok, I just typed absolutely nothing you said. Is that ok?
  23. I got an email from an online clothing retailer, proclaiming that they're having an amazing site-wide 10% off sale. Really, 10%? I don't give a shit about 10, come find me when you get to 25%.
  24. Sandman

    Grandkids

    Both of my grandkids were hanging with us tonight. The boy will be 2 in a couple of months and he was absolutely feral tonight. Running around, touching shit he's not supposed to touch, just having the time of his life. Meanwhile, I sounded exactly like my dad did back in the day. "Boy, get over here!". They left at 8pm, I felt like it was almost midnight, so exhausted. We had fun, though!
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