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Sandman

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Everything posted by Sandman

  1. Sandman

    Getting old sucks

    My fucking crown shattered as I was eating last night. And it wasn't eating anything hard or crunchy, it was fucking cheetos puffs. That God it doesn't hurt but I can't really talk or chew, because my tongue gets scraped up. Getting into the dentist this afternoon, at least.
  2. He's able to hold the trophy just fine, that's what matters.
  3. After original March injury, OKC's Jalen Williams having surgery - ESPN
  4. I like how it's parked in the shade of a tree, where all mechanics would prefer it.
  5. My wife just used the word "sell" instead of "sale" in a text and I'm contemplating divorce.
  6. Jackson Mahomes agrees with this sentiment.
  7. I literally don't give a shit. People can say whatever they want, my team won it all.
  8. As a Thunder fan, I now understand what Astros fans went through after they won the world series. Fuck the haters, we got a fucking championship. Fuck Seattle, too.
  9. He was at PSU for 20+ years before they joined the B10. I doubt he waited to start diddlin' kids until they joined the league.
  10. The beeper on the microwave should immediately stop when the door is opened. The one at the office just beeps and beeps, even though you've opened the door already.
  11. I hate when a team fails to convert on 3rd down and the guy says, "They're forced to punt". No they aren't forced to punt, they can go for it every fucking time.
  12. He's a 6'8 son of a billionaire, you think he worries about getting pussy? LOL he's probably drowning it in.
  13. This is the key IMO. I had zero game and wasn't "cool" but I was never home. Once someone in my group hit 16, we we're out of the house, doing whatever the fuck we could get away with, including talking to chicks that we might not think were "hot" but dammit we were gonna go for it. The internet has definitely stunted things for both sexes.
  14. My nephew is 33, MORBIDLY obese, and lives with my dad (his grandfather). He hasn't worked in a few years, last job was pizza delivery. He worked long enough to save the money for a nintendo switch and then asked my dad if he would kick him out if he quit his job. Dad said no, nephew quit the job. He allegedly has a health issue that prevents him from working and is currently on short term disability. I honestly don't think he's ever touched a titty in his life. He likes to paint warhammer figures at his mom's house and play in video game tournaments. To his credit, he (begrudgingly) helps with some day to day shit for my elderly father. Takes him to some appointments, go out to get him dinner, things like that.
  15. Yeah, I see a lot of "I won't take your name" and "I won't combine incomes" but I never see any "Don't buy me an engagement ring".
  16. Most of this just sound like incompatibility but neither side wants to admit it. My wife and I never argue, because we share the same values. We both agree on what is a "big deal" and what is just bullshit. Neither of us is too fussed about being neat freaks, but we don't live like pigs, either. If the trash needs to go out, we just take it out. My ex-wife would make a scene and act like the sky is falling, but would never take the trash out herself, heaven forbid. Neither my wife nor I have expectations that we require the other to live up to, other than normal shit like don't be an asshole. She can eat crackers in bed and I don't bat an eye. I can rip ass in the living room and she laughs instead of acting like I killed a child. We like doing activities together, like going to estate sales, or playing at Top Golf and shit. But she isn't interested in going to college wrestling with me, and I'm not going to those dreadful christmas choir shows she likes. There's a nice balance. We don't have to spend 100% of our waking lives together, it's ok to do shit on your own.
  17. Have you spent any time in the "stupid shit wives say" thread? I already have a wife, I don't want to hang around or chit chat with more women about shit. What a fucking chore that is. Maybe younger men have more patience than I do now at 51. I think the internet has really skewed shit for everyone. Used to be, you grew up around people your own age and it really seemed like people that were on the same level of looks would naturally gravitate towards each other. Mid chicks got with mid guys, hot cheerleaders got with stud athletes, etc. But now it seems that mid to ugly women refuse to give their male counterparts the time of day. And those mid to ugly guys are giving up, instead of getting back out there and trying again. Both sides need to work on their own issues but it isn't happening.
  18. Sandman

    Getting old sucks

    Funny you should mention this. I was too "in the moment" to think about shit like that, but when he came back into the room after I was in position, he made sure to identify himself, "Hey, It's Dr Ass Invader, getting ready to probe". He also gave me a heads up that he was wiping off the gel. I still felt all weird afterwards but at least he was by the book (as far as I know, I guess).
  19. No one singing a maroon 5 song is cool.
  20. Sandman

    Getting old sucks

    Had a colonoscopy last week, my doc said he took out a couple of polyps but there was one that he couldn't get and that I needed to see a surgeon. So I went to the surgeon and he said these terrible words: "I'd like to take a look at your anus". And boy, did he look. He claimed the probe thing was short but I disagree. It didn't hurt but it was very uncomfortable and I kept feeling like I was about to just unleash a huge turd on this guy. Luckily, we all escaped unharmed.
  21. It's a bath towel for big fuckers like myself. I only have bath sheets in my house, fuck tiny towels.
  22. About 20 years ago, I was listening to some morning radio dorks and they were talking about the towel/sheets/pajamas rotation. The woman of the group said that not only did she use a fresh towel every day, she also wore clean PJs every day AND CHANGED HER SHEETS EVERY FUCKING DAY. She claimed that she just felt gross, sleeping on dirty sheets. The two dudes called her a nutjob, in a kind way. Shocking news, she was unmarried.
  23. Nothing personal against Craig but I thought it was bullshit when they let him compete in the 3 point shootout in 1993, when he wasn't even in the league.
  24. Thunder went 42-8 without Chet this year. I think that's pretty good.
  25. Just saw the Fantastic Four trailer and it looks awful.
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