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Sandman

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Everything posted by Sandman

  1. The extended family went to a basketball game last night. My BIL got into a bit of a tiff with my future SIL. My SIL is very fired up about his sports teams, so he was yelling and cheering and let slip a couple of f-bombs and "Jesus Christ!". I wasn't really paying attention to him and it was loud as fuck, so I missed the whole "confrontation". My BIL asked him to tone down the language, as we had an 8 year old there, plus my very churchy MIL. SIL declined to tone it down and instead left. He later texted my wife to say he left to avoid causing a scene, but he felt my BIL should have spoken to him more discreetly. As I said, I missed all of this, I was watching the game and looking at my phone. Of course, this is the year that we host the Christmas gathering, so both of the offended parties will be at my house tomorrow. I think they both need to just STFU and forget it ever happened but that would be too easy.
  2. Sandman

    London

    I was there last December and I didn't think it was that bad. But I'm a very large man and people just naturally GTFO of my way, so YMMV.
  3. I bet Adrian Peterson's kids thought they were gonna be fine too. Then daddy's doing some weird celebrity boxing bullshit because he's broke as fuck.
  4. I worked at the notorious Oklahoma County Jail for 2 years in the late 90s. Had some good coworkers but the unsanitary conditions were too much. What a dump. Fast forward 20 years and I'm at my local county jail to get my fingerprints done for my CCL. As I waited for the officer to get the cards ready, I smelled that familiar jailhouse smell. Like sweaty ass and shit and dirty clothes that have been laying around for a couple of weeks. Talk about a blast from the past. I almost said something to her but then I realized I'd probably sound like an asshole. "Hey this disgusting smell you work in every day reminds me of when I worked in a similar shithole!".
  5. My parents were strict sticks in the mud but even they never stooped to that level. Put some cheese puffs, a sandwich, and a couple of oreos in there, for fucks sake.
  6. Why the fuck does every smartphone camera rotate my photos when it thinks I'm "too close" to the photo's subject? So tired of having to manually rotate the pics to where they were when I took the pic. Motherfucker, I took the pic as the distance I desired, your job is to just record the image. So dumb, there is no justifiable reason for this.
  7. I disagree. I've had multiple black female coworkers over the years who have different hair 3-4 days a week. No need to draw attention to wigs IMO.
  8. I can remember as a kid in the 70's, living in California and eating breakfast at Sambo's. As far as I knew, that name meant "Awesome Pancakes".
  9. People who fill out government forms that ask for your county of residence and they put "USA" because fuck reading, I guess.
  10. I am supposed to believe that an NFL team "couldn't afford" full-time employees? GTFOH with that bullshit. Art Modell was just a cheapskate.
  11. I'm gonna use my list from last year and maybe change one or two. Manufacturing runs instead of trying to hit bombs: 1. Gene Hackman 2. Pope Ben 16 3. Clint Eastwood 4. Willie Nelson 5. Mel Brooks 6. Dick Van Dyke 7. Gene Shalit 8. Willie Mays 9. Jimmy Carter 10. Demi Lovato
  12. UPDATE: 90 mins before my booking, top golf texted me to see if I wanted to sign in all my players now. Fuck off.
  13. I mean, you can't judge the meat until the cow is dead. And noboy's gonna judge that meat but us, dammit.
  14. Why do I have to "confirm" every fucking thing I'm doing these days? I make a Drs appointment, they text me to confirm like 2-3 days before I'm supposed to be there. What if I have something come up the night before? I made a reservation at top golf last night, going there on saturday. I just got an email to confirm. well, no shit I plan on being there. I paid a fucking deposit. Why are these places so fucking desperate to "confirm"?
  15. I'm working from home this week, so I'm in the study on the phone. Wife comes in, I think to say bye before she leaves for work. As I'm talking on the phone, she whispers/mouths something and tries to stick her phone near my face. I can only see her out of the corner of my eye, so as I'm talking and typing, I look over and give her a WTF look. She mumbles something and stomps away. My call ended soon after and I go to catch her before she left. I did, and she says "I was just saying that a package is supposed to be delivered today". WHO GIVES A SHIT???, I said in my head. Here's a text update:
  16. Sandman

    Getting old sucks

    Stayed up way too late the last few days. Combined that with eating like shit and boom...I was up all night with a case of the runs. Finally tapered off around 3:30 AM. Praying I can get to sleep before 11 tonight.
  17. A&M hires Mike Elko
  18. If you had told me after the South Alabama game that we'd wind up 9-3, beat ou, but lost big in the B12CG, I'd take it in a heartbeat. Fuck ou.
  19. Why the fuck did I just eat powdered sugar donuts while wearing a black shirt?
  20. Went to my MIL's for dinner. My sister-in-law's fiance had been trying to get ahold of his mom all day. She lives alone, a few states away from any of her children. He and his brother decided to call the cops to do a welfare check. He got the call as we were sitting at the table, they found her dead on the couch. He and his son are driving up tomorrow. Fucking hell.
  21. Two things that hit close to home: 1. The first brand new car my dad ever bought was a 1978 Pinto 3-door wagon. It ran like a top with zero issues and he got rid of it in 1986. This anti-Pinto aggression will not stand, man. 2. I saw KISS in 1996, original line-up, the Alive II stage set, only played songs from 1972-1979. It was bad ass and I too would drive 100 MPH through a checkpoint to relive those memories.
  22. Blowing up shit at our border won't change my mind, their "bacon" isn't real bacon. It's fucking ham, just admit it.
  23. Are you a psychic? Because this is him to a tee. He's in his early 30s, lives with my dad (his grandpa) and hasn't worked in a few years. Also, morbidly obese. I don't know if he's ever touched a boob.
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