I know this is going to sound very "Cats in the Cradle", but here we go:
My kids are 21 and have both moved out. One of them (stupidly IMO) ran off and got married and is having a kid. I don't approve for many reasons but there's nothing I can do. I haven't cut her off or anything like that. SHe's always welcome at the house, I still ask if she needs anything when we run to Costco or Sam's. My other kid is doing fine, and I treat her the same way. But I feel a huge disconnect between us. They haven't done anything "wrong", like something that has ruined our relationship. But I find myself pulling away, more and more each day. They don't communicate well, that doesn't help. Takes days from them to respond to a call or text. I don't want to be up in their business all the time, just don't text me 2 days later if I ask you to come by and get your new insurance card.
I feel guilty when I do things for myself, like buy myself something cool, or go somewhere fun, when I know they don't have a lot of disposable income. But I didn't force them to move out! They wanted to do it, I said you might want to think harder about this, you know you can live here for free, but they left anyway. They don't come to me for money at all but I still feel like they think I'm throwing shit in their face. "Dad's a jerk, buys himself stuff while I suffer!", that's what I worry that they might think. And I can't be a part of that, I pull away. Maybe I subconsciously feel like them moving out means that they don't want anything to do with me anymore? Like I have to distance myself as a petty revenge?